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Spacedog:
Assuming that you are posting the truth (a big assumption but I will allow you the benefit of doubt) you are making your first best decision and I quote "...I think the best thing for me to do is to leave this biz & do the right thing & do what's best for me & my family...".
My advice to you is not to even consider returning to it until your children are grown and you are an "old fart" like me; retired, with time on your hands, and to old to care what anyone thinks.
This is a sleezy business at best and is filled with sleezy, scheming, lying, cheating, amoral, people.
This business is like most. Many more fail than succeed. There is a small percentage (usually pretty heavily financially invested) that make any real money. It is my guess that 95% that talk the big money talk on these adult boards are like you were; a bullshitter.
You know who and what you are. You know what is bullshit and what isn't. You know what you have done wrong in the past and who you have wronged. Get yourself together, get a job, stay with that job until you have a better job to go to. Manage your money, begin to mend the wrongs you have done to others and make payments to all that you owe money to (even if all you can afford to pay is $1.00 per month).
Do not expect those around you to accept your word that you are a changed person and open their arms to you. Your words mean little; your actions are the measure. Do what I suggested, and though it may take awhile, the wheel will turn.
Good luck to you on your path through life.
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