Dwight: What? Not mixed together.
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Cotton McKnight: Looks like it's gonna be a two-on-one, a ménage à trois of pain.Comment
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Pepper Brooks: Usually you pay double for that kind of action, Cotton.Comment
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Kate Veatch: That... is a really interesting painting.Comment
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White Goodman: Thank you. Yeah, that's me, taking the bull by the horns. It's how I handle business. It's a metaphor.Comment
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Kate Veatch: I get it.Comment
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White Goodman: But that actually happened, though.Comment
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White Goodman: There's no reason we need to be shackled by the strictures of the employee-employer relationship. Unless you're into that sort of thing. In which case, I got some shackles in the back. I'm just kidding. But seriously, I've got 'em.Comment
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Cotton McKnight: It's time to separate the weak from the chafed, the men from the boys, the awkwardly feminine from the possibly Canadian.Comment
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Peter La Fleur: Hang on a second. You wanna become a cheerleader to prove you are not a loser?Comment
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Justin: Yeah. Why?Comment
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Peter La Fleur: Nothing. High school's changed a bit since I was a kid.Comment
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Cotton McKnight: It looks like the clock is about to strike midnight on this Cinderella story, turning Average Joe's into the proverbial pumpkin.Comment
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Pepper Brooks: I sure do like pumpkins, Cotton.Comment
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Dwight: I told you she was a lesbian.Comment
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Peter La Fleur: Wow. Good call.Comment
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Kate Veatch: Hey! I'm not a lesbian.Comment
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Peter La Fleur: You're not?Comment
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Kate Veatch: No. I'm bisexual.Comment
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Dwight: Snap.Comment
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Justin: Steve! Where is it you go to do... whatever it is that you do?Comment
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Steve the Pirate: Garrr! Joe's be the only place for me!Comment
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Patches O'Houlihan: There's a room full of guys and a lezbo counting on you!Comment
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Pepper Brooks: Effin' A, Cotton, Effin' A!Comment
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Patches O'Houlihan: All I know is that dyke can play!Comment
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Fran: You are the one that stares at me. Why is this?Comment
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Owen: [even though Fran is a tough, scary, Slavic woman] Because you are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.Comment
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Cotton McKnight: Let me tell you, a double-fault final-play elimination hasn't occurred since the Helsinki episode of 1919, and I think we all remember how THAT turned out!Comment
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White Goodman: Allow me the pleasure of introducing you to Blade... Laser... Blazer...Comment
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Kate Veatch: Are you reading the dictionary?Comment
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White Goodman: Oh, you caught me. I like to break a mental sweat too.Comment
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Cotton McKnight: Las Vegas. A city built of hot sand, broken dreams and $5 lobster. A city where you can get a happy ending, if you pay a little extra. A city home to a sporting event greater than the World Cup, World Series and World War II combined.Comment
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White Goodman: Oh, I don't think I'm a lot dumber than you think that I thought I once was.Comment
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White Goodman: That's me, White. W-H-I-T... E.Comment
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White Goodman: You're going down like a sweet muffin!Comment
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White Goodman: At Globo Gym we understand that "ugliness" and "fatness" are genetic disorders, much like baldness or necrophilia, and it's only your fault if you don't hate yourself enough to do something about it.Comment
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Patches O'Houlihan: Sometimes you gotta grab life by the haunches and hump it into submission.Comment
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White Goodman: Well, that's it. Good guy wins. Bad guy loses. Big freagin' surprise. That's the problem with the American cinema: Can't handle any complexity. "Whoa! Don't make me think!"Comment
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White Goodman: We ARE the Globo Gym Purple Cobras... and we will, we will, rock you!Comment
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[the whole team makes the dance movements from "We Will Rock You"]Comment
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Voice on phone: This is Seth from Videorama. The following DVDs are now overdue: "Drunken Hussies 3", "Backdoor Patrol 5" and "Mona Lisa Smile". Thank you.Comment
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Cotton McKnight: Average Joe's has a tough job, facing the Lumberjacks. These woodsmen probably haven't even smelled a woman in eight months.Comment
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Pepper Brooks: They must masturbate a lot, Cotton.Comment
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Peter La Fleur: You must be "daddy"...Comment
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Peter La Fleur: There's someone out there for everybody.Comment
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Owen: You think?Comment
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Peter La Fleur: Absolutely. In some cases, there's two somebodies for one person. I like to call that "the jackpot".Comment
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Kate Veatch: I'm not a banker, I'm a lawyer.Comment
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Peter La Fleur: Really? What kind of law are you involved in, pretty eyes?Comment
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Kate Veatch: Sexual harassment, mostly.Comment
Comment