Chris Griffin: Well, I've been working out all week.
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Meg Griffin: You look wicked skinny. I'm like, jealous.Comment
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Chris Griffin: Thanks, Meg. I'm jealous of your mustache.Comment
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Meg Griffin: [freaked] I don't have a mustache... do I?Comment
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[Peter has accidentally unleashed the 10 plagues]Comment
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Peter Griffin: There has to be some explanation for this.Comment
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Brian Griffin: You want an explanation?Comment
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[slaps Peter]Comment
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Brian Griffin: GODComment
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Brian Griffin: ISComment
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Brian Griffin: PISSED.Comment
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[during a company sexual harassment training video]Comment
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Narrator: Remember, nothing says "good job" like a firm, open-palm slap on the behind.Comment
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Chris Griffin: God's watching me do number two? Oh man, I'm a sinner, and God's a pervert.Comment
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[the family is planning a vacation]Comment
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Peter Griffin: We could always go to purgatory like we did last year.Comment
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Lois Griffin: This isn't bad. It's not good, but it's not bad.Comment
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Brian Griffin: So so.Comment
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Peter Griffin: More or less.Comment
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Peter Griffin: I haven't cleaned since Bounty dropped me as their spokesman.Comment
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Peter Griffin: So Rosie, I just spilled this glass of warm yellow liquid on the counter and you're telling me that Bounty can pick it up in five seconds?Comment
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Spokesperson: What the hell is that?Comment
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Peter Griffin: Five seconds...Comment
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Spokesperson: Is that?Comment
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Peter Griffin: Four seconds...Comment
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Spokesperson: It smells like...Comment
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Peter Griffin: Three seconds...Comment
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Spokesperon: That's...Comment
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Peter Griffin: CLEAN MY PEE.Comment
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[at a rehab center]Comment
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Peter Griffin: YEAH. I'm also addicted to boobies.Comment
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Stewie Griffin: This isn't the first time my small stature has hindered my plans.Comment
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Auctioneer: Item 157... Global Domination. Enslave the human race. Do I have any bids?Comment
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Stewie Griffin: OOH. OOH. ME. ME.Comment
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Auctioneer: I'll take any bids. $1. Enslave the human race for $1?Comment
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Stewie Griffin: BEHIND THE FAT CHICK. OOH. OOH.Comment
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Diane Simmons: Our top story tonight, I have been cast as the lead in the Quahog Players' production of The King And I.Comment
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Tom Tucker: In other news, I wont be going to the play because I'm sure it will be lousy.Comment
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Diane Simmons: This just in: Tom, you're such a closet case.Comment
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Tom Tucker: We now go live to Diane being a bitch. Diane?Comment
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Judge: I find you guilty of arson, so you are free to go... straight to jail. HA. Now YOU got burned... No bail.Comment
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Young Peter Griffin: Why did all the dinosaurs die?Comment
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Museum Curator: Because you touch yourself at night.Comment
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[Peter looks down in shame]Comment
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[looking around at a posh rehab clinic]Comment
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Peter Griffin: This is the kind of place God would go to if He had to stop doing blow.Comment
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Lois Griffin: He's figured out how to get the twinkie.Comment
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Chris Griffin: Ha ha. I'm turning you into poo.Comment
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[at Peter's imaginary version of Cheesy Charlie's]Comment
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Kid: I have 13 tickets, is that enough?Comment
Comment