Chris Griffin: The U.S. Army.
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Peter Griffin: ...that's a good army.Comment
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Bad Cockroach: Man, I'm going to cut you up so bad, that you... you gonna wish I didn't cut you up so bad.Comment
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Brian Griffin: She's a whiney little runt isn't she?Comment
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[Lois gasps]Comment
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Brian Griffin: I said runt.Comment
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Glen Quagmire: Don't look at me like that. Fat chicks need love too... but they got to pay.Comment
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[looking at whales]Comment
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Chris Griffin: Dad, what's the blowhole for?Comment
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Peter Griffin: I'll tell you what it's not for. And when I do, you'll understand why I can never go back to Sea World.Comment
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Stewie Griffin: Forecast for tomorrow; A few sprinkles of genius with a chance of doom.Comment
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[Peter gets fired]Comment
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Peter Griffin: Hey, Lois, the lost my job smells great. Hey, Meg, could you pass me the fired my ass for negligence?Comment
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Lois Griffin: Peter, are you OK?Comment
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Peter Griffin: Great. I haven't got a job in the world.Comment
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Stewie Griffin: Mother, life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're going to get. Your life, on the other hand, is like this box of ACTIVE GRENADES!Comment
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Lois Griffin: [oblivious] Oh, you want you toy back. Here yo go.Comment
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[Gives Stewie his Ray-Gun toy]Comment
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Stewie Griffen: Yes... well... VICTORY IS MINE!Comment
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[he runs off - the sound of the grenades exploding is heard]Comment
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Stewie Griffen: BLAST!Comment
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Stewie Griffin: You. Fetch me my copy of the Wall Street Journal. You two, fight to the death.Comment
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Peter Griffin: If I wasn't so sure you were a lesbian, I'd say you were coming on to me.Comment
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Peter Griffin: [giving a speech running for school board] This is life so go and have a ball. Because the world don't move to the beat of just one drum. What might be right for you may not be right for some. You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have... my opening statement. Sit, Ubu, sit. Good dog.Comment
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Stewie Griffin: [Brian is reading the newspaper] Look where my hand is. I say, look where my hand is. It's in a very naughty place.Comment
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Stewie Griffin: [Brian puts the paper down, Stewie's finger is in his nose] Does this not disgust you?Comment
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Brian Griffin: Kid, you're talking a guy who uses his tongue for toilet paper.Comment
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[Stewie reads a card and discovers his name written inside as the sender]Comment
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Stewie Griffin: Did you forge my name? How dare you. Is this backwards "S" supposed to be cute? Oh, I'm going to crap double for you tonight.Comment
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Gene Simmons: Someone kidnapped Santa? That does not rock.Comment
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[Quagmire sees a cheerleader tied up in a bathroom stall]Comment
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Glen Quagmire: Dear diary: Jackpot.Comment
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William Shatner: Now men, we are about to go on a very dangerous mission. It is highly likely that one of you will die. The crew that will go with me are Spock, McCoy and Ensign Ricky.Comment
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Ensign Ricky: Aw crap.Comment
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Peter Griffin: At least they don't put their feminine ointments next to the mustard, Lois. That was the worst hot dog I ever ate.Comment
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Brian Griffin: Do you listen to yourself when you talk?Comment
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Peter Griffin: Eh, I drift in and out.Comment
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[Meg walks in on Quagmire with a hooker]Comment
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Glen Quagmire: Hey, Meg, you just bought me another three minutes. Giggidy giggidy giggidy.Comment
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Lois Griffin: Stewie, why don't you go play in the other room?Comment
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Stewie Griffin: Why don't you just go to Hell.Comment
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Lois Griffin: Well, no dessert for you, young man.Comment
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[Peter has plastic surgery]Comment
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Brian Griffin: Hey, pal, you just cant walk in here, and, holy crap, it's Peter.Comment
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Peter Griffin: Oh, and sorry about that comment earlier. I have that disease that makes you swear involuntarily. Sonofabitch. Sonofabitch. Sonofabitch. See?Comment
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[Peter forms his own country]Comment
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Peter Griffin: I call it... Petoria. I was going to call it Peterland, but that gay bar by the airport took it.Comment
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Stewie Griffin: Oh, forgive me for not being one of those anorexic babies from the diaper commercials.Comment
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test,
buy my sig, no? please
Comment
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Meg Griffin: Wow, Chris, did you lose weight?Comment
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