Huck Griffin: I thought that was your name.
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Jim: That is our word. You have no right to use it.Comment
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Huck Griffin: Hey hey hey, I'm cool, I'm cool, no problem!Comment
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Huck Griffin: So, could you pass me the oar, 'n-word Jim'?Comment
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Jim: Thank you.Comment
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Peter Griffin: Well, fine. Until you put 'Gumbel 2 Gumbel' back on the air, I'm going on a hunger strike. Can you live with that? Huh, can you?"Comment
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[brief pause]Comment
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Peter Griffin: You gonna eat that stapler?Comment
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Network executive: Mr. Griffin, you can't eat a...Comment
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Peter Griffin: Wanna split it?Comment
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Newsanchor Diane: Tom, you're so deep in the closet you're finding Christmas presents.Comment
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[Brian and Chris try to sneak into a fair by wearing a horse suit]Comment
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Ticket Seller: Wait a minute... your ass just sneezed. And horses can't talk. No, no... nothing here adds up at all.Comment
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Stewie Griffin: [to Peter] You. You are the worst thing to happen to musical theater since Andrew Lloyd Webber.Comment
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[to Lois]Comment
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Stewie Griffin: And you... well, I just plain don't like you.Comment
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Stewie Griffin: [Picking up the phone] Hello, operator. Hello... Oh god, that's right you have to punch in the numbers nowadays. Uhhh, I should know this. Oh yes,Comment
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[dialing number]Comment
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Stewie Griffin: 867-5309, yes that's it. Wait that's not it, damn you Tommy Two-Tone. Huh, only one thing to do 111-1111, Lois? Damn. 111-1112 Lois? DAMN. 111-1113...Comment
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[Brian and Peter are putting a crib together]Comment
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Brian Griffin: Okay, insert rod support A into slot B.Comment
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Peter Griffin: That's what...Comment
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Brian Griffin: If you say "that's what she said" one more time, I am gonna pop you.Comment
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test
Faber est quisque fortunae suaeComment
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[the Millennium Bug has just hit, causing planes to fall from the sky, nuclear bombs to detonate, etc]Comment
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Peter Griffin: Holy crap... Did anyone else feel that?Comment
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Brian Griffin: Face it Peter, you get competitive about everything.Comment
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Peter Griffin: I am so not competitive. In fact, I am the least non-competitive. So I win.Comment
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Glen Quagmire: The Griffins. Bunch of card-carrying Commies if you ask me. All right.Comment
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Peter Griffin: Do you have any past injuries, physical anomalies?Comment
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Peter Griffin: Well, I didn't have gas for the first time 'til I was 30.Comment
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[flashback to Peter in the 1970s, sitting on a beanbag reading]Comment
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Peter Griffin: [farting noise]Comment
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Peter Griffin: What the hell was that?Comment
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Lois Griffin: Peter, where's Chris?Comment
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Chris Griffin: I love you She Hulk.Comment
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Security Guard: All right son, I'm going to need those two hams back.Comment
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Chris Griffin: I... I don't have any hams.Comment
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Security Guard: Lift up your shirt son.Comment
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Chris Griffin: I need an adult. I need an adult.Comment
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Security Guard: You're not a shoplifter, you're just a fat kid. Sorry about that fatty, fat, fatty. Hey Tom, he's just a fat kid. Aren't ya fatty? He's a big ol' fat kid. Here's some chocolate fatso.Comment
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Chris Griffin: Thanks.Comment
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Peter Griffin: [singing] Lois makes me take the rap/'Cause our check book looks like crap/Since I can't give her a slap/I need a Jew.Comment
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Max Weinstein: Hello. My car broke down. Can I use your phone?Comment
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Peter Griffin: [singing] Now my troubles are all through/I have a Jew.Comment
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Max Weinstein: Hey!Comment
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Peter Griffin: Nothing else has worked this far / So I wish upon a star / Wonderous shining speck of light / I need a Jew / Lois makes me take the rap / Cause our checkbook looks like crap / Since I can't give her a slap / I need a Jew / Where to find / A Baum or Steen or Stein / To teach me how to whine and do my taaaaaxesss... / Though by many they're abhored / Hebrew people I've adored / Even though they killed my Lord / I need a JewComment
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Old Man: Hey, muscly arm, why the long face?Comment
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Chris: It's this girl. I can't talk to her. It's like girls are a different species or something.Comment
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Old Man: Who needs them? You like Popsicles?Comment
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