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Sounds like you're working forwards and trying to anticipate everything... why not just work backwards? Try it using plain old PHP, and see if it works. Refine further.
Using javascript and the onClose event will probably be caught by most popup blockers.
As long as you have a dedicated server with decent specs you shouldn't run into load problems. One of mine has about 150k site loads/320k clicks going through a PHP script daily.
12:39PM up 24 days, 11:33, 1 user, load averages: 0.07, 0.14, 0.15
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