every beautiful girl named that?"
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I'm not afraid of dying, but I don't want to be there when it happens.Comment
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If you were a booger I'd pick you first.Comment
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A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.Comment
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If you were a chicken, you'd be impeccable.Comment
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A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.Comment
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If you were a laser, you'd be set on "stunning".Comment
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A hangover is the wrath of grapes.Comment
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If you were a library book, I would check you out.Comment
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Corduroy pillows are making headlines.Comment
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If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be McGorgeous.Comment
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Energizer Bunny arrested - charged with battery.Comment
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If you were a tear in my eye I would not cry for fear of losing you.Comment
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A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.Comment
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If you were ice cream and I were hot chocolate I'd pour all my love ontoComment
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When you dream in colour, it's a pigment of your imagination.Comment
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you.Comment
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When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.Comment
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I'm addicted to yes, and I'm allergic to no. So what's it gonna be?Comment
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Change is inevitable. Progress is harder to come by.Comment
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I'm feeling kind of insecure right now. Could I have a hug?Comment
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Viral marketing doesn't work - pass it on!Comment
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I'm invisible. (Really?) Can you see me? (Yes) How about tomorrow night?Comment
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What's the point in having communication lines if they can't break down?Comment
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I'm looking for a friend...do you want to be my friend?Comment
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Problems that disappear on their own usually come back on their ownComment
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Remember when you put others in the dock that you will be there yourself one dayComment
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A pessimist's blood type is always B-negativeComment
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Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or deathComment
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I used to work in a blanket factory, but it foldedComment
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I used to be a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axeComment
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Banning the bra was a big flopComment
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Sea captains don't like crew cutsComment
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Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a bananaComment
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A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumourComment
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Without geometry, life is pointless.Comment
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Reading whilst sunbathing makes you well-red (Duh!)Comment
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If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?Comment
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Never attribute to malice anything that can be adequately explained by stupidityComment
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Where there's a will, there's a won'tComment
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Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts doComment
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If a train stops at a train station, and a bus stops at a bus station, what happens at a workstation?Comment
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Save the whales. Collect the whole set.Comment
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A day without sunshine is like ..... night.Comment
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On the other hand, you have different fingers.Comment
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I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.Comment
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42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.Comment
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99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.Comment
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I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.Comment
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Honk if you love peace and quiet.Comment
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