Cleveland: Quagmire, you forgot to say "Oh".
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Peter Griffin: Oh. I thought you wanted us to murder the children and harvest their organs for beer money.Comment
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Stewie Griffin: Blast I thought I had more time. Keeping people from having sex is more difficult than I thought. Now I know how the Catholic Church feels. BA-ZING.Comment
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Peter Griffin: Well, they live in a crummy neighborhood.Comment
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[pause]Comment
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Peter Griffin: [singing] Lois makes me take the rap/'Cause our check book looks like crap/Since I can't give her a slap/I need a Jew.Comment
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Peter Griffin: Do... do I hit 'im?Comment
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Peter Griffin: Excuse me, is your refrigerator running? Because if it is, it probably runs like you, very homosexually.Comment
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Peter Griffin: Wow, is that really the blood of Christ?Comment
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Cleveland: We think it was some time between the Tonight Show and the Today Show.Comment
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Stewie: Hm, time for dessert. Let's see - big chocolate cake for Stewie,Comment
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Peter Griffin: I am so not competitive. In fact, I am the least non-competitive. So I win.Comment
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Brian Griffin: Anus.Comment
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[Peter laughs hysterically]Comment
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Dustin Hoffman: [as Captain Hook] Bring me Peter Pan!Comment
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Stewie Griffin: Yes. How delightful it will be. A pubescent herd of gabby wretches prattling on about boys and music and jellybeans and stickers.Comment
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Ticket Seller: Wait a minute... your ass just sneezed. And horses can't talk. No, no... nothing here adds up at all.Comment
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[the Griffins watch "Happy Days"]Comment
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Chris Griffin: You should invent the frisbee! The frisbee is an awesome toy!Comment
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[pause]Comment
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Grinch: You think you have won, you think all is well. Well kiss my green ass, I'll see you in hell.Comment
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Peter Griffin: OK, you can supersize but no apple pie.Comment
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Peter Griffin: Oh, Jenny... ooh, Jenny, Ooh, Jenny don't stop... Oh, Richard Jenny, your HBO comedy specials have brought laughter to millions. And what a sweet ass.Comment
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Rich Mother: Perhaps I can't bake a ham, but what I can cook up is a little grace and civility at the table.Comment
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Stewie Griffin: You Suck!Comment
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Tom Tucker: I'm sorry but there's a handsome man in my spoon. You'll have to come back later.Comment
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Cleveland: You can stay with us, Meg, I just hope you don't mind that my uncle died in the guest bedroom.Comment
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Chris Griffin: But I remember it so...Comment
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George: Oh 'I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Jane is sorry', I could've been killed.Comment
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Stewie Griffin: [to his grandmother] I smell death on you.Comment
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Glen Quagmire: [to woman who likes strong men] I can bench press 800 pounds.Comment
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Peter Griffin: Anybody get that?Comment
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Stewie Griffin: What the hell is this?Comment
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Stewie Griffin: Mother, I come bearing a gift. I'll give you a hint: it's in my diaper and it's not a toaster.Comment
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Quagmire: Hello there, cutie. How old are you?Comment
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Brian Griffin: Anus.Comment
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Peter Griffin: Can't Touch me.Comment
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Hillbilly #1: Dangit, Buck, I wanna use the sex box.Comment
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Peter Griffin: Jeez Brian, where do you think you are, Payless?Comment
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Brian Griffin: You can't just ignore those years. Thomas Mann fled to America because of Nazism's stranglehold on Germany.Comment
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Brian Griffin: The Bradys?Comment
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Dustin Hoffman: [as Captain Hook] Bring me Peter Pan!Comment
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Englishman: I say, Jeremy, isn't that Reginald B. Stifworth, the young upstart chap who's been touting the merits of a united European commonwealth?Comment
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Peter Griffin: [Peter hears a farting sound]Comment
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Lois Griffin: This is my son.Comment
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Lois Griffin: Ahh, I hate what you've become. Why don't you go back to that doctor and have him suck the fat out of your head?Comment
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Peter Griffin: [still singing] Can't touch me/ STOP, Peter time/ I'm a big shot, there's no doubt/ light a fire then pee it out/ Don't like it, kiss my rump/ Just for a minute, let's all do the bump/ Can't touch me/ Yeah, do the Peter Griffin Bump/ Can't touch me/ I'm Presidential Peter/ Interns think I'm hot/ Don't care if you're handicapped, I'll still park in your spot/ I've been around the world/ from Hartford to Back Bay/ It's Peter, Go Peter, I'm so Peter, Yo Peter, Let's see Regis rap this way/ Can't touch me.Comment
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Brian Griffin: And remember the time when you had an Irish Coffee before we went to see "Philadelphia"?Comment
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Peter Griffin: Oh my god. It's the Children of the Corn.Comment
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[Brian is addicted to cocaine]Comment
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