Meg Griffin: How could you embarrass me like that? Nobody better pull this kind of crap at my slumber party tonight.
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Peter Griffin: And this is where the Pilgrims landed at Fraggle Rock.Comment
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Bert: [Answering phone] Hello? Son of a bitch. I'm on my way.Comment
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[still no response]Comment
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Glen Quagmire: Taylor Hanson.Comment
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Tom Hanks: I have AIDS.Comment
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Peter Griffin: OK, we can go... but you cant supersize.Comment
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Brian Griffin: I'm really enjoying playing golf.Comment
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Peter Griffin: Hey, that's my kid.Comment
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Bert: Well, Ernie, I wish you wouldn't eat cookies in the DAMN BED.Comment
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Meg Griffin: I guess that's OK. When did he die?Comment
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Lois Griffin: [cut back to present scene] Peter, that happened ten minutes ago.Comment
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Death: God, what do you see in him?Comment
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[the Jetsons parody]Comment
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You're really going to take back donated gifts on Christmas Eve?Comment
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[Flash back]Comment
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Chris Griffin: HEY.Comment
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Peter Griffin: [Lois has explained to Peter that he is a producer, not director] Then what am I supposed to do with my great ideas? Put them in a tub and clean myself with them? Because that's what soap is for, Lois.Comment
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Migrant Worker: Que?Comment
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Stewie Griffin: [Picking up the phone] Hello, operator. Hello... Oh god, that's right you have to punch in the numbers nowadays. Uhhh, I should know this. Oh yes,Comment
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Bert: [Answering phone] Hello? Son of a bitch. I'm on my way.Comment
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Brian Griffin: Whose leg do I have to hump to get a dry martini around here?Comment
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Peter Griffin: Excuse me, is your refrigerator running? Because if it is, it probably runs like you, very homosexually.Comment
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[Peter and Chris are dressed in grass skirts]Comment
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Peter Griffin: Nothing else has worked this far / So I wish upon a star / Wonderous shining speck of light / I need a Jew / Lois makes me take the rap / Cause our checkbook looks like crap / Since I can't give her a slap / I need a Jew / Where to find / A Baum or Steen or Stein / To teach me how to whine and do my taaaaaxesss... / Though by many they're abhored / Hebrew people I've adored / Even though they killed my Lord / I need a JewComment
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Huck Griffin: Geez, I'm sorry. I didn't know.Comment
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Peter Griffin: Hey. Hey. Stay out of here. Hey. You better not come in here. I'm the Griffin's house. Bring me a tool shed, for I am hungry.Comment
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Stewie Griffin: And you, I just don't like you.Comment
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Stewie Griffin: Oh, for God's sake, does anyone wait to put an end to this nuisance.Comment
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Peter Griffin: I do... ya bastard.Comment
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Lois Griffin: Peter, punish Chris.Comment
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Chris Griffin: Yo, did y'all check me when that hottie was all up in my Kool-Aid? Yeah, I was looking to break off a little somethin' somethin' but my crew gave me the 411 on that skank and she's all about the bling-bling.Comment
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Yakov Smirnoff Voice: In Soviet Russia, road forks you.Comment
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Cleveland: You can stay with us, Meg, I just hope you don't mind that my uncle died in the guest bedroom.Comment
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[no response]Comment
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Death: God, what do you see in him?Comment
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Diet Institute Worker: Oh sorry.Comment
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Brian: Why don't you shut up for about a week?Comment
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Cult Leader: Are you a confused adolescent desperately seeking acceptance from an undifferentiated ego mass that demands conformity?Comment
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Coffin Salesman: Sir that casket costs $1000.Comment
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Glen Quagmire: Oh god. Oh my god. I've got all these magazines. Oh god.Comment
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Peter Griffin: Oh, Boy! I remember my first job. I was in a folk music trio.Comment
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Peter Griffin: Rea... Really?Comment
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Peter Griffin: Go on...Comment
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[a social worker is trying to take Stewie away because she believes the Griffin parents are unfit]Comment
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Peter Griffin: Brothers and sisters fighting is as natural as a white mans dialogue in a Spike Lee movie.Comment
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Brian Griffin: A Dairy Queen? That's preposterous.Comment
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Peter Griffin: Hey. Hey. Stay out of here. Hey. You better not come in here. I'm the Griffin's house. Bring me a tool shed, for I am hungry.Comment
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Peter Griffin: It's no bother, is it Lois?Comment
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Pearl Burton: What is this, spit soup?Comment
Comment