Updating my resume. How do I explain a year of not working?

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  • clickhappy
    Confirmed User
    • Mar 2004
    • 4027
    #1

    Updating my resume. How do I explain a year of not working?

    I'm going to be looking for work soon in the corporate world and for the past year I worked 100% online in porn. How do I explain this away on my resume?

    I'm thinking of just making a fake portfolio with fake mainstream looking websites for fake clients and saying I worked for myself as a webdesigner for a year. You think that's a good idea?

    Last edited by clickhappy; 03-14-2004, 07:10 PM.
    Tags: None
    • sumphatpimp
      Confirmed User
      • Aug 2002
      • 5235
      #2
      I was thinking the same thing myself

        Comment

        • juicylinks
          So Fucking Banned
          • Apr 2001
          • 122992
          #3
          Write you were in a rehab clinic

            Comment

            • riosluts
              Confirmed User
              • Sep 2003
              • 5250
              #4
              yeah go ahead they wont check into that anyways. just give the number of the references of your friend. and tell him to cover for you

                Comment

                • Theo
                  HAL 9000
                  • May 2001
                  • 34515
                  #5
                  you can claim consulting of online businesses :-)

                    Comment

                    • Mutt
                      Too lazy to set a custom title
                      • Sep 2002
                      • 34431
                      #6
                      Originally posted by clickhappy
                      I'm going to be lookin for work soon in the corporate world and for the past year I working 100% online in porn. How do I explain this away in my resume?

                      I'm thinking of just making a fake portfolio with fake mainstream looking websites for fake clients and saying I worked for myself as a webdesigner for a year. You think that's a good idea?
                      tell them you were in a mental hospital for a year after attacking a co-worker with a stapler at your last corporate job.
                      I moved my sites to Vacares Hosting. I've saved money, my hair is thicker, lost some weight too! Thanks Sly!

                        Comment

                        • chupacabra
                          Confirmed User
                          • Sep 2002
                          • 3626
                          #7
                          your lucky, try explaining away 6 solid years of pr0n slingage..
                          ...promise her a defamation, tell her where the rain will fall..

                            Comment

                            • SABAI
                              Confirmed User
                              • Jan 2001
                              • 2880
                              #8
                              just write "internet marketting" " web technologies " and i m sure that if you need it quite a few company owners on this board can make a note to justify if if required.

                                Comment

                                • piker
                                  Confirmed User
                                  • Feb 2004
                                  • 597
                                  #9
                                  Originally posted by clickhappy
                                  I'm going to be lookin for work soon in the corporate world and for the past year I working 100% online in porn. How do I explain this away in my resume?

                                  I'm thinking of just making a fake portfolio with fake mainstream looking websites for fake clients and saying I worked for myself as a webdesigner for a year. You think that's a good idea?
                                  Just put you were a web developer. No need to lie just dont say what it is. Depending on the field your interviewing for no one will ask what specific sites you worked on.
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                                    • spentrent
                                      Confirmed User
                                      • Feb 2004
                                      • 876
                                      #10
                                      Independent contracting.

                                        Comment

                                        • Furious_Male
                                          Doing the grind since 99
                                          • Oct 2003
                                          • 16884
                                          #11
                                          Originally posted by spentrent
                                          Independent contracting.
                                          Yes thats the basic idea. You were running your own business testing the waters for a short time.

                                          Just be prepared to answer why your still not running that business or will it interfere in the event you were hired.
                                          Living in Virtual Reality
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                                            Comment

                                            • Theo
                                              HAL 9000
                                              • May 2001
                                              • 34515
                                              #12
                                              i remember when i created the resume of a friend that he was applying for a UK master degree. I put him so many references from companies that friends run that he was accepted from more universities he would ever dream of. I think only one university out of 20+ confirmed some of them.

                                                Comment

                                                • raster
                                                  Confirmed User
                                                  • Aug 2003
                                                  • 784
                                                  #13
                                                  I would say you were self employed earning commissions for referring surfers to other sites ...

                                                  Originally posted by clickhappy
                                                  I'm going to be lookin for work soon in the corporate world and for the past year I worked 100% online in porn. How do I explain this away on my resume?

                                                  I'm thinking of just making a fake portfolio with fake mainstream looking websites for fake clients and saying I worked for myself as a webdesigner for a year. You think that's a good idea?

                                                    Comment

                                                    • twistyneck
                                                      So Fucking Banned
                                                      • Jan 2002
                                                      • 4660
                                                      #14
                                                      Just put down that you were too lazy to go to work. Fuck 'em. Tell the truth.

                                                        Comment

                                                        • Paul Waters
                                                          Confirmed User
                                                          • Mar 2003
                                                          • 4402
                                                          #15
                                                          A non checkable lie...

                                                          You made a bit of coin in the dot com craze and cashed in before the crash.

                                                          You spent a year travelling the world.

                                                          Do some research to be able to talk about the places you *visited*



                                                          Paul

                                                            Comment

                                                            • sickkittens
                                                              I am a meat popsicle.
                                                              • Jul 2002
                                                              • 25100
                                                              #16
                                                              online marketing & sales?

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                                                                Comment

                                                                • Swiftone
                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                  • May 2002
                                                                  • 337
                                                                  #17
                                                                  Why even explain it? You took a leave from work for self discovery.

                                                                  By the way, why are you going back to the corporate hell hole?
                                                                  Yo.

                                                                    Comment

                                                                    • $tandaman
                                                                      Pimping 8EZ
                                                                      • Jun 2001
                                                                      • 3530
                                                                      #18
                                                                      Try explaining never having a job

                                                                      i think you are good with consulting or self employed
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                                                                        • liquidmoe
                                                                          Confirmed User
                                                                          • Mar 2002
                                                                          • 4994
                                                                          #19
                                                                          I think consulting in the web related field works best, plus its not far from the truth, just dont mention which sphere of the internet you were consulting for and you are all set.

                                                                          Take Luck!

                                                                            Comment

                                                                            • spentrent
                                                                              Confirmed User
                                                                              • Feb 2004
                                                                              • 876
                                                                              #20
                                                                              Originally posted by Furious_Male


                                                                              Yes thats the basic idea. You were running your own business testing the waters for a short time.

                                                                              Just be prepared to answer why your still not running that business or will it interfere in the event you were hired.
                                                                              You decided that you were tired of getting half-paid 3 months late and figured that independent contracting just wasn't for you.

                                                                              Portfolio?

                                                                              "Don't you see your lawn every morning?"

                                                                                Comment

                                                                                • Joesho
                                                                                  want to get in shape
                                                                                  • Jan 2003
                                                                                  • 12329
                                                                                  #21
                                                                                  Tell them you were counting Whales in Allaska, then decided too follow them to Mexico..... to see how many survived the whole Journey
                                                                                  Got any domains to sell?
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                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                    • 69pornlinks
                                                                                      Confirmed User
                                                                                      • Mar 2003
                                                                                      • 5560
                                                                                      #22
                                                                                      if you're white just say you were finding yourself...
                                                                                      It IS what it IS

                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                        • cashman
                                                                                          Confirmed User
                                                                                          • Mar 2004
                                                                                          • 898
                                                                                          #23
                                                                                          Preganant

                                                                                            Comment

                                                                                            • BuckLover
                                                                                              Confirmed User
                                                                                              • Feb 2003
                                                                                              • 1656
                                                                                              #24
                                                                                              Just say you were doing porn! they will understand!

                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                • reynold
                                                                                                  Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                                  • Oct 2002
                                                                                                  • 51271
                                                                                                  #25
                                                                                                  Tell him you're spending your time doing your own business
                                                                                                  that eventually failed.

                                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                                    • Mr. Marks
                                                                                                      Confirmed User
                                                                                                      • Jun 2001
                                                                                                      • 7517
                                                                                                      #26
                                                                                                      You can say that you were doing business online for a year. You don't have to be specific on what kind of business you do over the net.

                                                                                                      you can also say that you were worn out from the corporate world before and decided to try something new. You had a vacation, went back to your old hobbies. Now that you're fully charged, you can go back to work again. Fully fuelled and energized.

                                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                                        • macker
                                                                                                          Confirmed User
                                                                                                          • Jul 2003
                                                                                                          • 2161
                                                                                                          #27
                                                                                                          Originally posted by Soul_Rebel
                                                                                                          you can claim consulting of online businesses :-)

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                                                                                                            • Honeyslut
                                                                                                              Confirmed User
                                                                                                              • Jan 2001
                                                                                                              • 6436
                                                                                                              #28
                                                                                                              My resume says internet marketing and web design.
                                                                                                              http://nakedlunchnews.comWhat's up ? Naked Lunch News !

                                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                                • Babagirls
                                                                                                                  Text Writer
                                                                                                                  • Feb 2001
                                                                                                                  • 18812
                                                                                                                  #29
                                                                                                                  just lie.

                                                                                                                  they wont check.

                                                                                                                  but have a backup plan of friends in case ;)




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                                                                                                                    • Cr34t1v3
                                                                                                                      Registered User
                                                                                                                      • Mar 2004
                                                                                                                      • 62
                                                                                                                      #30
                                                                                                                      Originally posted by clickhappy
                                                                                                                      I'm going to be looking for work soon in the corporate world and for the past year I worked 100% online in porn. How do I explain this away on my resume?

                                                                                                                      I'm thinking of just making a fake portfolio with fake mainstream looking websites for fake clients and saying I worked for myself as a webdesigner for a year. You think that's a good idea?
                                                                                                                      "Freelance Online Entrepeneur/Consultant".....seeking a solid career base." (It covers a myriad of possibilities.)

                                                                                                                      If you tell them you "failed" at anything that will not bode well
                                                                                                                      in how they view your capabilities in future....

                                                                                                                      If you lie and say you created sites for mainstream business
                                                                                                                      they MAY in fact do a thorough check hoping to use your skills in
                                                                                                                      the future.

                                                                                                                      You obviously have learned quite a bit about online marketing
                                                                                                                      adult sites and site design....simply tell them the truth and leave out the "details" and "content"....if they ask to see examples
                                                                                                                      tell them you consulted and offer email references. Any one of
                                                                                                                      your friends here can do up a formal reference for you.

                                                                                                                      Good luck.

                                                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                                                        • runaway
                                                                                                                          Confirmed User
                                                                                                                          • Feb 2004
                                                                                                                          • 1177
                                                                                                                          #31
                                                                                                                          Like they say, Internet marketing and web design are the best bets!

                                                                                                                            Comment

                                                                                                                            • lock
                                                                                                                              Confirmed User
                                                                                                                              • Jul 2003
                                                                                                                              • 5065
                                                                                                                              #32
                                                                                                                              webhosting and design

                                                                                                                              You hosted heavy trafficed sites applying ecommerce and customised various scripts to suit applications.

                                                                                                                              You also kept up with routine webmaster maintainence including updates specials marketing etc.
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                                                                                                                                • directfiesta
                                                                                                                                  Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                                                                  • Oct 2002
                                                                                                                                  • 30168
                                                                                                                                  #33
                                                                                                                                  Just say you were in the National Gards ( preferably Alabama).

                                                                                                                                  It works!!!!

                                                                                                                                  I know that Asspimple is stoopid ... As he says, it is a FACT !

                                                                                                                                  But I can't figure out how he can breathe or type , at the same time ....

                                                                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                                                                    • Basic_man
                                                                                                                                      Programming King Pin
                                                                                                                                      • Oct 2003
                                                                                                                                      • 27360
                                                                                                                                      #34
                                                                                                                                      Yeah, you worked as a "Consultant in Online Marketing"
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                                                                                                                                        • Mike-BP
                                                                                                                                          Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                          • Mar 2003
                                                                                                                                          • 1270
                                                                                                                                          #35
                                                                                                                                          Originally posted by clickhappy
                                                                                                                                          I'm going to be looking for work soon in the corporate world and for the past year I worked 100% online in porn. How do I explain this away on my resume?

                                                                                                                                          I'm thinking of just making a fake portfolio with fake mainstream looking websites for fake clients and saying I worked for myself as a webdesigner for a year. You think that's a good idea?
                                                                                                                                          whats wrong with telling them you worked in online porn?
                                                                                                                                          Thanks to: ISPrime.com - best hosting company without downtime

                                                                                                                                            Comment

                                                                                                                                            • strobi
                                                                                                                                              Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                              • Nov 2002
                                                                                                                                              • 7383
                                                                                                                                              #36
                                                                                                                                              Originally posted by Mike-BP

                                                                                                                                              whats wrong with telling them you worked in online porn?
                                                                                                                                              don't do it 99% of times you say it straight out.. they won't even call you back for a second interview.

                                                                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                                                                • mpulse
                                                                                                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                                  • Jan 2004
                                                                                                                                                  • 765
                                                                                                                                                  #37
                                                                                                                                                  You did volunteer work for the year...they love that stuff too
                                                                                                                                                  when in doubt...don't whip it out!
                                                                                                                                                  ICQ#280837216

                                                                                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                                                                                    • 4Pics
                                                                                                                                                      Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                                      • Dec 2001
                                                                                                                                                      • 7952
                                                                                                                                                      #38
                                                                                                                                                      tell them you hooked up with some bears and hibernated for the last year in a cave.

                                                                                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                                                                                        • Manowar
                                                                                                                                                          jellyfish  
                                                                                                                                                          • Dec 2003
                                                                                                                                                          • 71528
                                                                                                                                                          #39
                                                                                                                                                          Internet Entertainment

                                                                                                                                                          or just put

                                                                                                                                                          Self Imposed Hiatus

                                                                                                                                                            Comment

                                                                                                                                                            • Herb Kornfield
                                                                                                                                                              Is on the 1
                                                                                                                                                              • Sep 2002
                                                                                                                                                              • 4996
                                                                                                                                                              #40
                                                                                                                                                              1. Independent consultant.

                                                                                                                                                              If why you arent there anymore, jus tell them, in today's marketplace you found it difficult to gain traction in working oppurtunities when you had no major "name" company since so many consultants have gone the wayside.

                                                                                                                                                              They love to hear that you want to push their brand.

                                                                                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                                                                                • zentz
                                                                                                                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                                                  • Nov 2003
                                                                                                                                                                  • 8062
                                                                                                                                                                  #41
                                                                                                                                                                  just make fake portfolio.. just find someone that will confirm that
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                                                                                                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                                                                                                    • Zester
                                                                                                                                                                      Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                                                      • Jul 2003
                                                                                                                                                                      • 5344
                                                                                                                                                                      #42
                                                                                                                                                                      1 year is not too much, people are here from 1996-7
                                                                                                                                                                      think about the things you did and learned and go by that:
                                                                                                                                                                      "Internet marketing" - you can put that in for sure
                                                                                                                                                                      "Web development" - for sure
                                                                                                                                                                      "Web design" - unless you did greatly designed sites don't put that in
                                                                                                                                                                      "Web Hosting" - had a dedicated? put that in
                                                                                                                                                                      "SEO" - if you ever tried to hit google top 10 and did a little research about it, you got it
                                                                                                                                                                      "E-commerce" - consider this one too

                                                                                                                                                                      remember to say this: "I always had great self-learning ability skills and an exploring mind, I never had a problem working hard, and I have learned I have creative ideas that help me wherever I go and what ever I do"

                                                                                                                                                                      if they ask: "so why did you bail out of what you were doing?"
                                                                                                                                                                      you say: "I need a place I can call a "second home", I need a place I can invest my self into the work, and the work place will invest in me"

                                                                                                                                                                      the niche of marketing of which you worked in after these things won't be that important.
                                                                                                                                                                      you can always say half truth, say you built sites and referred sales to sponsors - you don't have to say you built your own (if you did)
                                                                                                                                                                      what niche? what was the product? "All kind of stuff, whatever gave you more money calculating the conversion"

                                                                                                                                                                      if they ask: "can we see those sites you built?"
                                                                                                                                                                      say: "I closed them all, I won't have time to manage them with my new job and all, as I said - I wanna put all of my time and mind work to a new work place"
                                                                                                                                                                      * Mainstream ? $65 per sale
                                                                                                                                                                      * new male contraception

                                                                                                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                                                                                                        • BradM
                                                                                                                                                                          Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                                                          • Dec 2003
                                                                                                                                                                          • 3397
                                                                                                                                                                          #43
                                                                                                                                                                          You were a contract web designer. You can provide samples upon request?

                                                                                                                                                                          And if they ask just say the companies all went under.

                                                                                                                                                                            Comment

                                                                                                                                                                            • Zester
                                                                                                                                                                              Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                                                              • Jul 2003
                                                                                                                                                                              • 5344
                                                                                                                                                                              #44
                                                                                                                                                                              why are you leaving the bizz by the way?
                                                                                                                                                                              * Mainstream ? $65 per sale
                                                                                                                                                                              * new male contraception

                                                                                                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                                                                                                • chodadog
                                                                                                                                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                                                                  • Apr 2002
                                                                                                                                                                                  • 9736
                                                                                                                                                                                  #45
                                                                                                                                                                                  Just say you went on holiday. That simple.
                                                                                                                                                                                  26 + 6 = 1

                                                                                                                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                                                                                                                    • Mr Pheer
                                                                                                                                                                                      So Fucking Banned
                                                                                                                                                                                      • Dec 2002
                                                                                                                                                                                      • 22082
                                                                                                                                                                                      #46
                                                                                                                                                                                      Ask PK, she knows everything about this kind of stuff

                                                                                                                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                                                                                                                        • pimplink
                                                                                                                                                                                          Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                                                                          • Jun 2001
                                                                                                                                                                                          • 9535
                                                                                                                                                                                          #47
                                                                                                                                                                                          just say your pregnant.. that's it

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                                                                                                                                                                                            • loverboy
                                                                                                                                                                                              When it rains, it pours
                                                                                                                                                                                              • May 2003
                                                                                                                                                                                              • 20609
                                                                                                                                                                                              #48
                                                                                                                                                                                              Originally posted by Paul Waters
                                                                                                                                                                                              A non checkable lie...

                                                                                                                                                                                              You spent a year travelling the world.

                                                                                                                                                                                                Comment

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