OK, Dr. BRISK has diagnosed your condition. In my 0 years of experience in medicine I have never encountered someone with your situation, but after conducting a 30 second Google search, I am confident that you have Proctalgia Fugax.
http://www.medic8.com/healthguide/ar...lgiafugax.html
In 2 weeks you will receive a $1000 bill for this consultation.
