I shall render you immobile.
I shall see to it your work schedules are interrupted.
I shall see you writhing on the floor in sheer agony!
I shall see your websites collapse from neglect!
I shall see your households uprooted and your families in tears!
I shall achieve this with but one gesture. With but one website link:
http://www.heptune.com/farts.html
I DARE any man, woman or child to read through this entire website and deny laughing their asses off.