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When you know you have left Cali
1. Your coworker has no body piercing and nothing but cottage cheese is visible.
2. You make over $300,000 and still can't stand minority's.
3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation not talking about the weather.
4. Your child's 3rd grade teacher has blue hair, nose hair , and is named Ginny.
5. You can't remember... is incest illegal?
6. You've been to a baby shower that has two sisters and a dad is as the sperm donor.
7. You have a very strong opinion about where your weed is grown, and you can taste the difference between Michigan Rag weed and some Panama Red.
8. You know which restaurant serves the freshest opossum stew.
9. You can't remember... is incest illegal?
10. A really great parking space can is the whole county.
11. A low speed police pursuit will interrupt ANY TV broadcast, news paper presses, barber shop talk, tobacco spitting contests, family reunion orgy's.
12. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon
13. A man gets on the bus in full leather regalia and crotchless chaps. and you think rodeo must be in town.
14. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30am at Starbucks wearing the baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney is not george clooney....its the mayor.
15. Your car insurance covers your home too as it is mobile.
16. Your hairdresser is mom, your plumber is dad, the woman who delivers your mail is into grandma, and your Mary Kay rep is your uncle in drag and tyou are all only 15 years apart
17. You can't remember... is incest illegal?
18. Its barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station
"board up the trailers."
19. You have to leave the big company picnic early because Billy Banks himself is wrastlin the 4:00pm smackdown.
20. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy
helping Mom and Dad with homework.
21. it's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to gather and enjoy that fancy water like them there celebs drink.
22. Hey!!!! Is incest illegal????
23. Both you AND your dog have crabs.
24. The Terminator is your new tattoo.
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