How to get laid

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  • Malkmus
    Confirmed User
    • Jan 2004
    • 573

    #1

    How to get laid

    So you can't get laid ? You tried everything to find a chick who'd agree to fuck with you but no ... there is none.
    That's really a fucked situation because you're getting desperate and depressed !

    But, cheer up, here's the solution !
    Follow these 6 easy steps and you'll be banging the hottest chicks and - bonus - you'll have a lot of new friends !


    1. become an adult webmaster
    ( which means a webmaster that builds sites for adults, not necessarily an adult that build websites )

    2. contact a pornstar
    ( an amateur starlette or your neighbour would do )

    3. Buy a camera
    ( this step is important - without the cam you won't get the pornstar to believe you're a professional filmmaker)

    4. Give the pornstar some bucks
    ( if you're broke, you should consider jerking off as a very affordable alternative solution)

    5. Fuck the pornstar
    (extract your penis from your boxer shorts and ask the lady to place it somewhere ... don't worry, she'll know)

    6. Take some pics while you fuck
    (Don't screw this step, it's not that easy - practice with a doll before, and if you don't have a doll, ask your mom to simulate a sexual act with her. She'll be ok, she loves you, she's your mom. Don't have a doll or a mom? ...hmmm ok ... ask your dad. He'll do that, he's your dad, he loves you.)



    So you see ... No big deal. It's easy to get laid.


    And here's the bonus step .... all free !!!!


    7. Post the pics on GFY
    You'll get tons of new friends admiring you and thinking how their shity lives suck comparing to yours.


    You got laid and you have new friends ... isn't life beautiful ?
  • ryph
    Confirmed User
    • Oct 2002
    • 1225

    #2
    ok..
    tom at ryphs dot com

    Comment

    • Titty Fucker
      Confirmed User
      • Dec 2003
      • 589

      #3
      That's the plan.

      Comment

      • DeanCapture
        Haters & Trolls SUCK!
        • Dec 2002
        • 9275

        #4
        Originally posted by Malkmus


        3. Buy a camera
        ( this step is important - without the cam you won't get the pornstar to believe you're a professional filmmaker)
        My favorite
        Twitter: @DeanCapture
        Instagram: @TheDeanCapture
        DeanCapture "at" Gmail.com

        Comment

        • cosis
          Confirmed User
          • Aug 2001
          • 5292

          #5

          Comment

          • beemk
            CLICK HERE
            • Jan 2002
            • 20829

            #6
            haha nice post, it looks like photogregxxx is 10 steps ahead of you on this one.
            I host with Vacares

            Comment

            • mellow
              Confirmed User
              • Aug 2001
              • 187

              #7
              Great, now I know why someone wanted to buy a 3 megapixel camera in another thread!
              <a href='http://stats.ars4real.com/wmref/click.php?type=ban&a=75704'>
              <img border=0 src='http://stats.ars4real.com/wmref/load.php?type=ban&a=75704'></a>

              Comment

              • Spunky
                I need a beer
                • Jun 2002
                • 133978

                #8
                Bla Bla Bla...= Shoot her some Benjamins

                Comment

                • tayloryum
                  Confirmed User
                  • Jan 2002
                  • 423

                  #9
                  Free Live Web Cam Girls Content for Promotion
                  These girls CONVERT LIKE CRAZY - do yourself a favor and sign-up today!

                  Comment

                  • Basic_man
                    Programming King Pin
                    • Oct 2003
                    • 27360

                    #10
                    never saw things that way
                    UUGallery Builder - automated photo/video gallery plugin for Wordpress!
                    Stop looking! Checkout Naked Hosting, online since 1999 !

                    Comment

                    • insanesurfer
                      Confirmed User
                      • Jun 2003
                      • 790

                      #11
                      LOL sounds like a plan
                      Tired of Paypal? Then give Moneybookers a chance.

                      Comment

                      • DBS.US
                        Geo Cities
                        • Aug 2003
                        • 11842

                        #12
                        I see you read my diary
                        Have an unused domain? Make a Free Chaturbate White Label site and be making money tonight

                        Comment

                        • hoe_vender
                          Confirmed User
                          • Dec 2003
                          • 2018

                          #13
                          how has that worked out for you so far
                          ICQ #286508534

                          Comment

                          • senseidru
                            Confirmed User
                            • Sep 2002
                            • 1767

                            #14
                            have you tried this yourself?

                            Comment

                            • Malkmus
                              Confirmed User
                              • Jan 2004
                              • 573

                              #15
                              No i don't need this, i have a lovely wife

                              And no, i won't post pics

                              Comment

                              • Peter Romero
                                Long time no happy ending
                                • Feb 2003
                                • 10618

                                #16
                                Bad idea... wont work. You'll run outta money unless you are legit.


                                [email protected]

                                See them all here: https://www.Petergirls.com

                                Comment

                                • wdsguy
                                  Ryde or Die
                                  • Dec 2002
                                  • 19568

                                  #17
                                  I'mma go try this right now!

                                  Comment

                                  • kowntafit
                                    Confirmed User
                                    • Jan 2004
                                    • 4667

                                    #18
                                    Interesting plan.

                                    This is where my next million is coming from!

                                    Comment

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