I'm a good wiper.

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  • RedShoe
    赤い靴 call me 202-456-1111
    • Feb 2001
    • 14831
    #1

    I'm a good wiper.

    Anyone that knows me personally knows I have major shit issues.. And I MEAN MAJOR!!

    I never shit in public and when I'm home, I have to shit in the dark with the water running and sometimes I sit there with a towel over my head, just incase the neighbors are peeking in somehow.

    ok, that being said. I consider myself an incredible wiper.

    I usually pull about 3 feet of double ply paper, and I fold that once. Then I fold that again and wipe with one pass and discard. I usually safety flush at this point so I don't overflow. That's also a big fear of mine.

    So I wipe several more times maybe 5 - 6 passes and flush at least at least once during that time. Then I finish with a baby wipe. The cool wetness is quite refreshing. Then I flush for the final time and scrub my hands with the hottest water I can possibly handle.

    I never examine my waste.

    Are you a good wiper?

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    • CyberTraffic
      Confirmed User
      • Feb 2004
      • 2187
      #2
      Why in the fuck would you post that on a forum?

        Comment

        • nofx
          Too lazy to set a custom title
          • Nov 2002
          • 16826
          #3
          dont you hate it when your thumb slips off the toilet paper and you accidently touch your poo with your thumb. so that means you have to go wash the poo from you fingers next, too much work!

          Often times I wonder why
          There's love and hate, theres live or die.
          When sickness comes I must decide:
          When feelings go, theres suicide.

            Comment

            • Mr Pheer
              So Fucking Banned
              • Dec 2002
              • 22082
              #4
              Originally posted by CyberTraffic
              Why in the fuck would you post that on a forum?
              why does anybody post anything on these forums

                Comment

                • Vox
                  Confirmed User
                  • Mar 2002
                  • 2710
                  #5
                  I really didn't need to know that.
                  Social profile assassination for hire

                    Comment

                    • CyberTraffic
                      Confirmed User
                      • Feb 2004
                      • 2187
                      #6
                      Originally posted by MrPheer


                      why does anybody post anything on these forums
                      Good point.

                        Comment

                        • rounders
                          Confirmed User
                          • Sep 2003
                          • 2931
                          #7
                          wiper? hah.
                          ICQ#: 153923840

                            Comment

                            • RedShoe
                              赤い靴 call me 202-456-1111
                              • Feb 2001
                              • 14831
                              #8
                              Originally posted by CyberTraffic
                              Why in the fuck would you post that on a forum?
                              My therapist says it'll help me over come my shit issues if I share them with others.

                              I also have problems with jizz sticking to my legs when I jack off in the shower, but I found out it was because the water was too hot. And the protien in my jizz was basically cooking like the whites of an egg yolk and sticking to me.

                              SPECIALTY COSTUMES • PROPS • FX
                              Superheroes • Monsters • Robots
                              PM for details

                              For any manufacturing needs. Adult or otherwise.

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                              Bonsai weed plants

                                Comment

                                • Jellybeen
                                  Registered User
                                  • Feb 2004
                                  • 86
                                  #9
                                  You can never truly reach expert poo wiper status until you have a baby in the house.

                                    Comment

                                    • Tala
                                      Fucked if I know
                                      • Dec 2002
                                      • 23368
                                      #10

                                      ICQ: 11120676 | Google: mindcrime | Skype: suitemindcrime|E-Mail: mindcrime AT gmail.com|PR girl with great writing skills for hire!!!! Contact me to work for YOU!|TECHIEMEDIA? 24/7 support from some of the best techs in the biz. Tell Jim that I sent you.

                                        Comment

                                        • Jellybeen
                                          Registered User
                                          • Feb 2004
                                          • 86
                                          #11
                                          Btw I love the pic of Boneprone and crew on their knees to pose with your footwear.
                                          I doubt they see the irony in it, though.
                                          You should frame it.

                                            Comment

                                            • RedShoe
                                              赤い靴 call me 202-456-1111
                                              • Feb 2001
                                              • 14831
                                              #12
                                              Originally posted by Jellybeen
                                              Btw I love the pic of Boneprone and crew on their knees to pose with your footwear.
                                              I doubt they see the irony in it, though.
                                              You should frame it.
                                              Where do you think "Bow to the power" comes from?

                                              SPECIALTY COSTUMES • PROPS • FX
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                                              For any manufacturing needs. Adult or otherwise.

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                                              Bonsai weed plants

                                                Comment

                                                • JDog
                                                  Confirmed User
                                                  • Feb 2003
                                                  • 7453
                                                  #13
                                                  I'm a very good wiper! I'm just as careful!

                                                  Can never be too clean!

                                                  jDoG
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                                                    • Headless
                                                      Registered User
                                                      • Jan 2001
                                                      • 26727
                                                      #14

                                                        Comment

                                                        • Jellybeen
                                                          Registered User
                                                          • Feb 2004
                                                          • 86
                                                          #15
                                                          Originally posted by RedShoe


                                                          Where do you think "Bow to the power" comes from?
                                                          So then it comes down to the truth of who really holds the power, and the perception of who holds the power, eh?

                                                            Comment

                                                            • sexsup
                                                              Confirmed User
                                                              • Feb 2004
                                                              • 3004
                                                              #16
                                                              Originally posted by CyberTraffic
                                                              Why in the fuck would you post that on a forum?
                                                              I thought the same question

                                                                Comment

                                                                • RedShoe
                                                                  赤い靴 call me 202-456-1111
                                                                  • Feb 2001
                                                                  • 14831
                                                                  #17
                                                                  Originally posted by sexsup
                                                                  I thought the same question
                                                                  I already told you, it's part of my therapy

                                                                  SPECIALTY COSTUMES • PROPS • FX
                                                                  Superheroes • Monsters • Robots
                                                                  PM for details

                                                                  For any manufacturing needs. Adult or otherwise.

                                                                  aka BonsHigh on Insta
                                                                  Bonsai weed plants

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                                                                    • Voodoo
                                                                      ♥ ♦ ♣ ♠
                                                                      • Sep 2002
                                                                      • 10600
                                                                      #18
                                                                      Red... Try using baby wipes. It's much nicer, and it doesn't "ball up" on ya. As well, it has a nicer scent, than regular 2ply.

                                                                      "I'm selflessly supporting the common good, but only coincidentally looking out for No.1."

                                                                        Comment

                                                                        • Rorschach
                                                                          So Fucking Banned
                                                                          • Aug 2002
                                                                          • 5579
                                                                          #19
                                                                          [IMG]http://www.redcoat.net/pics/*******.jpg[/IMG]

                                                                            Comment

                                                                            • Mr Pheer
                                                                              So Fucking Banned
                                                                              • Dec 2002
                                                                              • 22082
                                                                              #20
                                                                              ******* to the rescue

                                                                                Comment

                                                                                • Rorschach
                                                                                  So Fucking Banned
                                                                                  • Aug 2002
                                                                                  • 5579
                                                                                  #21
                                                                                  My elderly neighbour apparently wipes his ass with these cloth napkin things, then saves them and does a poor job of scrubbing them by hand in a tub in his back yard. Then he hangs his stained shit rags on his washing line to dry, and if the wind is blowing in the wrong direction it can get quite fragrant.

                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                    • garce
                                                                                      Confirmed User
                                                                                      • Oct 2001
                                                                                      • 7103
                                                                                      #22
                                                                                      Originally posted by RedShoe
                                                                                      ...I usually pull about 3 feet of double ply paper, and I fold that once. Then I fold that again and wipe with one pass and discard. I usually safety flush at this point so I don't overflow. That's also a big fear of mine.

                                                                                      So I wipe several more times maybe 5 - 6 passes and flush at least at least once during that time. Then I finish with a baby wipe. The cool wetness is quite refreshing. Then I flush for the final time and scrub my hands with the hottest water I can possibly handle.

                                                                                      I never examine my waste.

                                                                                      Are you a good wiper?
                                                                                      Um, I usually hop in the shower after a shit. I mean, I shit everyday between 12-1 p.m. I'm a clock. My ass is a clock. If I've eaten jalapenos or habaneros or some nasty chicken wings the night before I'll do a courtesy flush half way through, but I do a nice wipe. Grab the tissue, wad it up, and go from front to rear. You don't want that shit on your genitals.

                                                                                      But when I'm finished I just hop in the shower. Very refreshing.

                                                                                      garce

                                                                                      P.S. I'm giving long, thoughtful replies to posts like this? Time to go to bed.

                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                        • Keev
                                                                                          Confirmed User
                                                                                          • May 2001
                                                                                          • 5335
                                                                                          #23
                                                                                          LOL Redshoe aka West Coast Wiper
                                                                                          ReliableServers.com - NO REF LINK!

                                                                                            Comment

                                                                                            • RedShoe
                                                                                              赤い靴 call me 202-456-1111
                                                                                              • Feb 2001
                                                                                              • 14831
                                                                                              #24
                                                                                              West Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide

                                                                                              SPECIALTY COSTUMES • PROPS • FX
                                                                                              Superheroes • Monsters • Robots
                                                                                              PM for details

                                                                                              For any manufacturing needs. Adult or otherwise.

                                                                                              aka BonsHigh on Insta
                                                                                              Bonsai weed plants

                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                • Basic_man
                                                                                                  Programming King Pin
                                                                                                  • Oct 2003
                                                                                                  • 27360
                                                                                                  #25
                                                                                                  lol
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                                                                                                    • AMN
                                                                                                      Registered User
                                                                                                      • Jun 2003
                                                                                                      • 97
                                                                                                      #26
                                                                                                      if your so good please wipe mine.... kinda messy downstairs

                                                                                                      carne asada burrito did a number on me
                                                                                                      Lick it Long Time
                                                                                                      www.FuckedCompany.com

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