Good question, webmaster x. I don't know THE (complete, all comprensive, and definitive) answer but I do have an experience that brought it home for me - my business is located in the Philippines. Well, as you may or may not know, the Philippines is one of the more depressed economies of Southeast Asia. In fact, due to official corruption, kidnappings, high taxes, crappy infrastructure, it has managed to evade the rising tide of prosperity that is sweeping through the rest of Asia.
I was walking down a street in the depressed part of Manila to visit a cousin when I saw a sight that froze me in my tracks. I saw a huge family living in a shack composed of rotting plywood, car tires, and rusty corrugated roofing metal sheets. Their door/side wall apparently got blown out by one of the many typhoons that hit Manila seasonally. What I saw inside really put my personal concerns/issues in perspective, despite the hardships of life--little food to eat, extreme poverty, this family were gathered around the guitar playing grandfather and smiling and laughing and having a good time.
It is not your material condition that dictates your happiness. You need perspective and grounding to be happy. You may be physically and materially comfortable but if your inner being is needy and hungry, you will die miserable.
Like I said, I don't know the answer to your question but I'm glad I do have some experiences that may point the way. I'm not sure if people really answer that question--perhaps it can only be solved by 1 kind act after another, 1 act of compassion towards your family, lover, community, and even haterz and enemies.
Keep thinking though, at least you're trying
