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Hit a good Mongolian BBQ place. Load up on beef and pork (mash it all into the bowl solid) then fill the remainder of the bowl with onion, green peppers & a small amount of cilantro & some garlic oil. Important part: dump a shitload of Hunan sauce and hot oil over your mountain & have the chef fry it up. Eat up & wash it down with a few Tsing Tao's.
You should have the results you seek between 1 - 2 hours.
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