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wtf is stratos?

150.

my favorite:

24. Order 52 pepperoni slices prepared in a fractal pattern as follows from an equation you are about to dictate. Ask if they need paper.

I second that.

i second that

They have like 60 restaurants in Quebec. They make the best poutine and deliver untill 5ham.

Where I live now, there's no delivery after 10hpm, which is freakin weak.

let's see if that works...

25. Act like you know the order taker from somewhere. Say "Bed-Wetters' Camp, right?"

weeee

never heard of it... you sure they have 60 restaurants in quebec?

chop chop

26. Put the accent on the last syllable of "pepperoni." Use the long "i" sound.

when does Audrey's site go live?

hell yeah I think they all are in Mauricie though. Damn good food.

haha... that would explain it

I am sure, i almost tried them all

27. If they repeat the order to make sure they have it right, say "OK. That'll be $10.99; please pull up to the first window."

28. Eliminate verbs from your speech.

29. Say it's your anniversary and you'd appreciate if the deliverer hid behind some furniture waiting for your spouse to arrive so you can surprise him/her.

30. Amuse the order taker with little-known facts about country music.

31. Ask to see a menu.

32. Have your pizza "shaken, not stirred."

33. Ask if they have any idea what is at stake with this pizza.

34. Ask what topping goes best with well-aged Chardonnay.

35. If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask person taking the order to stop doing that.

36. Order a slice, not a whole pizza.

37. Doze off in the middle of the order, catch yourself, and say "Where was I? Who are you?"

38. Psychoanalyze the order taker.

39. Ask what their phone number is. Hang up, call them, and ask again.

40. Order two toppings, then say, "No, they'll start fighting."

41. Call to complain about service. Later, call to say you were drunk and didn't mean it.

42. If he/she suggests anything, adamantly declare, "I shall not be swayed by your sweet words."

43. Wonder aloud if you should trim those nose hairs.

44. Try to talk while drinking something.

45. Start the conversation with "My Call to (Pizza Place), Take 1, and. . . action!"

46. Ask if the pizza is organically grown.

47. Ask about pizza maintenance and repair.

48. Be vague in your order.

49. Use CB lingo where applicable.

50. If using a touch-tone press 9-1-1 every 5 seconds throughout the order.

51. After ordering, say "I wonder what THIS button on the phone does." Simulate a cutoff.

52. Start the conversation by reciting today's date and saying, "This may be my last entry."

53. State your order and say that's as far as this relationship is going to get.

54. Learn to properly pronounce the ingredients of a Twinkie. Ask that these be included in the pizza.

55. Ask if they're familiar with the term "spanking a pizza." Make up a description to go with the term. Ask that this be done to your pizza.

56. Say "Kssssssssssssssht" rather loudly into the phone. Ask if they felt that.

57. When listing toppings you want on your pizza, include another pizza.

58. Ask if they would like to sample your pizza. Suggest an even trade.

59. Put them on hold.

60. Teach the order taker a secret code. Use the code on all subsequent orders.

61. Mumble, "There's a bomb under your seat." When asked to repeat that, say "I said 'sauce smothered with meat'."

62. Make the first topping you order mushrooms. Make the last thing you say "No mushrooms, please." Hang up before they have a chance to respond.

63. When the order is repeated, change it slightly. When it is repeated again, change it again. On the third time, say "You just don't get it, do you?"

64. When you've given the price, say "Ooooooo, that sounds complicated. I hate math."

65. Haggle.

66. Order a one-inch pizza.

67. Order term life insurance.

68. When they say "Will that be all?", snicker and say "We'll find out, won't we?"

69. Ask how many dolphins were killed to make that pizza.

70. While on the phone, fake entering puberty. Fluctuate pitch often; act embarrassed.

71. Dance all around the word "pizza." Avoid saying it at all costs. If he/she says it, say "Please don't mention that word."

72. Have a movie with a good car chase scene playing loudly in the background. Yell "OW!" when a bullet is fired.

73. If he/she suggests a side order, ask why he/she is punishing you.

74. Ask if the pizza has had its shots.

75. Order a steamed pizza.

nice

Ever been to this hole they call "Mauricie"?


Audrey's site is going live in about 2-3 weeks... Lots of new things coming to neXpectation

a steamed pizza

i may have driven through it before. not sure though.


will audrey be doing custom content for affiliates?

fuck off jay...

Definitly If you want to be in the first ones to get custom content, ICQ me within a couple weeks.

Jay I'll fuckin lay your nuts on a fuckin dresser
Just your nuts layin on a fuckin dresser
And bang them shits with a spiked fuckin bat

getting closer?

Jay I'll fuckin pull your fuckin tongue out your fuckin mouth
and stab the shit with a rusty screwdriver, BLAOWW!!

In order to fullfill you gay-masochist fantasy, you'd first have to get close to my nuts, which will never happen.

Jay I'll fuckin hang you by your fuckin dick
off a fuckin twelve sto-story building out this motherfucker

sweet

and if i were to mail you guys a shirt, could she wear it during the shoots?

bump...

You bet

ICQ me for mailing address.

So.. did i win ?

jay I'll fuckin tie you to a fuckin bedpost
with your ass cheeks spread out and shit
Put a hanger on a fuckin stove and let that shit sit there
for like a half hour
Take it off and stick it in your ass slow like
Tssssssss

nothing's solid yet... i'm working on ideas right now. but if i roll with the ideas, i'll let you know for sure

hmm..

To cut on Lynch boy's action again:

Intro Part One: Method Man (album version)

Yeahhh, torture motherfucker what?
[Torture nigga what?]
What?
I'll fuckin
I'll fuckin tie you to a fuckin bedpost
with your ass cheeks spread out and shit
Right?
Put a hanger on a fuckin stove and let that shit sit there
for like a half hour
Take it off and stick it in your ass slow like
Tssssssss

[Yeah, I'll fuckin
Yeah I'll fuckin lay your nuts on a fuckin dresser
Just your nuts layin on a fuckin dresser
And bang them shits with a spiked fuckin bat]
Ooooohhhh
[Whassup? BLAOWWW!!]

I'll fuckin
I'll fuckin pull your fuckin tongue out your fuckin mouth
and stab the shit with a rusty screwdriver, BLAOWW!!
[I'll fuckin]

[I'll fuckin
I'll fuckin hang you by your fuckin dick
off a fuckin twelve sto-story building out this motherfucker]

I'll fuckin
I'll fuckin
sew your asshole closed, and keep feedin you
and feedin you, and feedin you, and feedin you

Intro Part Two: Genius (all versions)

[Yo, roll the dice, yo roll the dice
Yo, so it's going down like that, huh? Yeah?
Niggaz is whylin, check it out kid]

From the slums of Shaolin, Wu-Tang Clan strikes again
The RZA, the GZA, Ol Dirty Bastard, Inspectah Deck, Raekwon the Chef
U-God, Ghost Face Killer and the Method Man

M-E-T, H-O-D, MAN
M-E-T, H-O-D, MAN
M-E-T, H-O-D, MAN
M-E-T, H-O-D, MAN

Verse One:

Hey, you, get off my cloud
You don't know me and you don't know my style
Who be gettin flam when they come to a jam?
Here I am here I am, the Method Man
Patty cake patty cake hey the method man
Don't eat Skippy, Jif or Peter Pan
Peanut butter, cuz I'm not butter
In fact I snap back like a rubber
band, I be Sam Sam I am
And I dont eat green eggs and ham
Style will hit ya, wham!, then goddamn
You be like oh shit that's the jam
Turn it up now hear me get buckwu-wu-wild
I'm about to blow light me up
Upside downside inside and outside
Hittin you from every angle there's no doubt
I am, the one and only Method Man
The master of the plan wrappin shit like Saran
Wrap, with some of this and some of that
Hold up (what?) I tawt I tat I putty tat
Over there, but I think he best to beware
Of the diggy dog shit right here
Yippy yippy yay yippy yah yippy yo
Like Deck said this aint your average flow
Comin like rah ooh ah achie kah
Tell me how ya like it so far baby paw
The poetry's in motion coast to coast and
Rub it on your skin like lotion
What's the commotion, oh my lord
Another corn chopped by the Wu-Tang sword
Hey hey hey like Fat Albert
It's the Method Man ain't no if ands about it
It's the Method

Break:

All right, y'all get ya White Owls, get ya meth, get ya skins
Don't forget your fourty
And we gonna do it like this

I got, fat bags of skunk
I got, White Owl blunts
And I'm about to go get lifted
Yes I'm about to go get lifted

I got, myself a fourty
I got, myself a shorty
And I'm about to go and stick it
Yes I'm about to go and stick it

Verse Two:

Uhh
H-U-F-F huff and I puff
Blow like snow when the cold wind's blowin
Zoom, I hit the mic like boom
Wrote a song about it like to hear it here it goes
Question what exactly is a panty raider
Ill behaviour savior or major flavor
All of the above oh yeah plus I do so
Also flam I'm the man call me super
Not an average Joe with an average flow
Doing average things with average hoes
Yo I'm super I'll make a bitch squirm
For my, Su-per Sperm (check it)
Check it I give it to ya raw butt naked
I smell sess pass the Method
Let's get lifted as I kick ballistics
Missles and shoot game like a pistol
Clip is loaded when I click bang dang
A Wu-Tang slug hits your brain
J-U-M-P jump and I thump
Make girls rumps like pump and Humpty Hump
Wow, the Shaolin style is all in me
Child, the whole damn isle is callin me
P-A-N-T-Y-R-A-I-D-E-R mad raw I don't cry
Meaning no one can burn or toss and turn me
Ooh I be the super sperm
Chim chimmeny chim chim cherie
Freak a flow and flow fancy free
Now how many licks does it take
For me to hit the Tootsie Roll center of a break
Peep and don't sleep the crews mad deep Wu-Tang
Fadin motherfuckers like bleach
So to each and every crew
You're clear like glass I can see right through
You're whole damn posse be catchin em all cause you vic'd
and ya didnt have friends to begin with
I'm

M-E-T, H-O-D, MAN
M-E-T, H-O-D, MAN
M-E-T, H-O-D, MAN
M-E-T, H-O-D, MAN

Here I am, here I am, the Method Man

Outro: RZA

Straight from the slums of Shaolin
Wu-Tang Killa B'z on a swarm
[Your soul have just been taken through the 36 chambers of death, kid]

*coughing*
[Word to mother, Method Man signing off, peace]

Go Fuck Yourselves,

Sincerely,
the loser.

Holy shit. 50k uniques for free - that's more than I am getting in a month

are we there yet?

nice... close.

Okay.. last try

bump

do i win?

ok i guess i win

Nahhh

Post 201?