Quote:
Originally posted by AlienQ
Jade Dragon -
How do you know a SUicide is really "A way Out"?
Way out of what? Life? Lifes a fucking joke dude, I might be the only one laughing but it is a joke.
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I am not sure, as a matter of fact in debate about heaven and hell I say that hell is what you make it and for me the worst thing that could happen is I die and it is like
"Now on to level 2, start over"
To me death is the end, no more will you as you realize what is going on and if I am wrong and what the christian churches preach I have followed most of the rules of living a good life and think that my good out weigh my bads and since I am sorry for what I have done wrong I would be forgiven, if not there is nothing I can do but continue to do good deeds here. But if your life seems like it will continue on in unshakable and unfathomable sadness and death is an end then it is an escape. Death to me is a eternal sleep, in the meantime there is nothing for me to do but make myself and those around me happy and to suceed in everything I do because to me there is simply nothing else to do while I breath. As long as I can I will challange myself with goals that others say are impossible and make myself an amazing human being to be friends, do business with and love, when I achieve them then I will move on to the next challange.
Part of the reason I lost the woman that I loved with my all was because I became complacent. I was the only child of a well off family, I had been accepted into a great pre-med school and I was in love and had the love of a pre-med genious. I WILL NEVER again slack off I am not stuck in my own drive.
To me life is not a joke it is a game, you pretty much have to play unless you off yourself. I look at every peice of adversity I get as part of the game. I am real big on smashing walls and doing what others fail at. I now live my life as I see fit, I live within the laws of man but everything else I do of my own accord. If I did not think life was a game and if every game I have played did not wind up with me winning because I adapted, learned the way to beat the system and then stand victorious, one cold lonely night in my townhouse apartment I would have slit the artery on the back of my leg that I had learned about in one of my overpriced pre-med anatomy classes. I have had much adversity since those days but it is all a joke to me, I was on the doorstep of dispair and I picked myself up, nothing can stop me now.
Other good news, the girl I was to marry and I are pretty much best friends, she encourages me in my business and I push her hard in her med school. Out of hatred we have found our love again, we will be a part of each other's lives in some way forever and that is another happy part of my life.