I have been with my husband for almost 22 years and we've gone thru some pretty bad lows and some awesome highs. This is normal, girl, ESPECIALLY if you both have jobs and you have kids. It's very easy to get so caught up in the world of responsible parent/adult and lose site of why you are doing it in the first place..... because you fell in love with him and wanted to make a family/life with him.
You pretty well summed it up in a nutshell when you said you work opposite shifts.. that is easy to lose sight of a relationship, without even adding the kids and day to day stuff in there.
FIND A SITTER!!!!! And find one FAST! Seriously. What we had to do was set aside time as follows
Family time - where you spend time with the whole family, MAKE the time, and you won't feel guilty with the others that follow!!
Me time- thisis AS crucial as family time, you have to be able to keep sight of who YOU are, in order to be on top of your game with the rest of the household members
HIS time - MAKE him do the male bonding thing, no matter what, make him do it.... it's awesome for letting him know he can still have his male bonding time, most men feel they lose this when they say "I do"
OUR time - this is time when your husband and you escape, even if it is just to go dancing, movie, dinner..... for a couple of hours. Just take the time when you can focus ONLY on each other and no one else. Don't go out with other couples on this one, just the two of you. DO NOT talk about kids, work, nothing but catching up on who each of you are and why you fell in love with him in the first place.
Chances are, he feels the same way you do, very much in love with you, but men don't express this like WE do... LOL (MY husband does, but I am told this is rare). What we used to do, when we couldn't get someone to watch the kids..... feed the kids their dinner, and let them go to bed, and then cook you two a nice little candlelight dinner and have it together.... don't have to leave the house and you have your time together without the kids and phones and whatnot. I am not one to leave my kids often, so this was awesome for me, I knew they were safe in bed and I was having my time with the one and only man I will ever love.
Long winded I know, but honey, I have been married for so long that we have about gone thru everything a couple can go thru and survive. We have been the worst that's ever happened to each other and the best, but always keep sight of the best.
