Those of you who are parents...

Our little girl is coming up to 2. At the moment she doesn't make too much noise, never screams or throws tantrums when out and can be taken to any retaurant that has kids seating.

Maybe that'll change but even at her age she knows that behaving while out gets her far more than being naughty. You just gotta reward them at the right times and for the right things. If she ever asks for a sweet or treat she never gets it. She only gets them as a reward for good behavious AFTER the trip

Works for me and works for children much older two as my step-children were exceptionally well behaved using the same method when I had them.

Wow... I know as a kid, I was very quiet, curteous and I stayed out of people's way. I was raised properly and I think that a lot of parents have thrown the values of parenthood out the window.

yep. sounds like the truth.

So sadly true. Parts of the neighbourhood I live in are considered rough and when you look at the actions of the parents and the total lack of control they excercise the kids don't stand a chance from day 1.

Unless the child has a medical condition (happens although far from the norm) ANY child can be raised to behave and have respect for others. They're also usually much happier for doing so as constantly screaming at a kid is hardly ideal. With few exceptions if a child isn't behaving you have to look to the parents.

My kids are generally fantastic in public... My older daughter likes to act up sometimes but generally I can keep her in hand.... If my kids got THAT bad, I'd up and leave.....

The problem is, though, some parents are afraid to discipline their children in public, so the kids figure out that when they're out they can walk all over mommy and be horrid brats, so they do... Viscious circle that time, discipline and patience can help (if not cure').

I think the main problem is that parent's aren't willing to give up something themselves.

When you punish a kid it takes discipline from the parent to follow through with that punishment.

I don't have kids, but I have spent the last 11 years helping to raise my nieces. They in fact live with me and I have put one through high school and now into nursing school and another is going through junior high so I have had plenty of experience being both an insider and outsider.

An example I used when my sister was not living with me and couldn't control her oldest. I would ask her what she did to punish her and she would say she grounded her. But she would end up taking her along with the family when they went out whether it was to the mall or dinner etc.

The problem was my sister could not give up her simple pleasures to make my niece suffer the consequences of her actions.

And by that I would tell her if you are going to ground her then she needs to stay grounded.

That means sitting in her room all weekend reading a book or studying and no tv, radio going to the mall etc.

If that meant everyone else in the family had to stay home to ensure that she followed this then so be it.

I found by just following through on things kids will learn you mean business. Anytime you cut that punishment in half after threatening them with it shows you're not committed to seeing them follow through. It sets a very bad precedent.

Another thing is as someone posted above most parents are afraid to punish in public. This creates a situation where the kid has a lot of control.

One thing I did with my nieces was the "count" method. But I used my own variation.

Basically the rules were this. If you are doing something bad no matter where it is I'm going to count to 3. But guess what? I'm not necessarily going to swat your ass on 3 I may do it on 1, 2 or 3 it was up to them to gamble on when it may happen. And I did that.

Sometimes I would swat their butt on 3, others I wouldn't even count I would just walk up and *swat!*

Talk about surprising the shit out of them...but it worked. I've only swatted them each a couple of times over the years..I didn't have to do it very many times before they learned I meant what I was saying.

My youngest is like that.. Daddy who is overbearing spoils him much to the dismay of the rest of the family..now we all pay for it. My others are fine... but I dread any trips with this child..he has runied many a time and wasted alot of money...

Got 3 kids, all extremely well behaved and always proud to take them everywhere.

I'm actually an extremely liberal parent but one thing they always understood was how to behave in public.

You should need a license to have a kid, most parents aren't qualified.

I think a big problem these days is too many parents try to be friends with their kids and are "too" understanding. Instead of discipline, they resort to "talks" and "time-outs".

My youngest brother is 8, he has a different dad than me. I don't think he's ever been spanked, just the "time-out" system. Though I love the kid, he is a brat. Gets away with pretty much anything, never disciplined, gets whatever he wants.

My family never had much money when I was younger, my parents split when I was only 6 so I never got little extras and sweets just for the hell of it. And yeh, I also got smacked from time to time, but not often. I learned quickly that being a little shithead wasn't going to get me anywhere.

There's the problem

lol...keep thinking that discipline works the same on all kids. When my son was 3 he would lay down and bang his head on the concrete. That is no exaggeration either. He would kick, punch, throw shit, bite people...you name it. I belong to the old school. I don't fuck around. My old man raised me so that I knew...if I fucked up...I was getting some serious pain. Around here either you get your shit straight or I will find a way to straighten it for you. My daughter on the other hand has been brought up under the same circumstances and in the same environment and isn't half the demon my son was. It varies from kid to kid.

We don't have to worry about our kids - all 10 of them are grown up - they just worry about taking Marie and me out in public