3 sexual NIGHTMARES this coulod of happened to you

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  • raceman
    Confirmed User
    • Jul 2003
    • 1064

    #1

    3 sexual NIGHTMARES this coulod of happened to you

    NIGHTMARE #1
    After a long night of making love, the young guy rolled over, pulled out a cigarette from his jeans and searched for his lighter. Unable to find it, he asked the girl if she had one at hand. "There might be some matches in the top drawer," she replied. He opened the drawer of the bedside table and found a box of matches sitting neatly on top of a framed picture of another man. naturally, the guy began to worry. "Is this your husband?" he inquired nervously. "No, silly," she replied, snuggling up to him. "Your boyfriend then?" he asked. "No, not at all," she said, nibbling away at his ear. "Well, who is he then?" demanded the bewildered guy.
    Calmly, the girl replied, "That's me before the operation."

    NIGHTMARE #2
    The spark had been lost in this guy's marriage, so he was trying to think of a way to rekindle it. One night he came home from work, and found his wife asleep in bed. He thought to himself, "what should I do?" "Oh-I know." He proceeded to get under the covers and go down on his wife. Soon she began to gently squirm and moan in pleasure.
    After a few minutes, her body spasmed with ecstasy as she climaxed. Afterwards, the man went straight to the bathroom to brush his teeth. When he got there, the light was on and he saw his wife there shaving her legs. He exclaimed, "What are you doing in here?!?" She said, "Shhhh!," pointing at the bed, "You'll wake your mother."

    NIGHTMARE #3
    One night a guy takes his girlfriend home. As they are about to kiss each other goodnight at the front door, the guy starts feeling a little horny. With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and smiling, he says to her, "Honey, would you give me a blow job?" Horrified, she replies, "Are you mad? My parents will see us!" "Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?" He asks grinning at her. "No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?" "Oh come on! There's nobody around, they're all sleeping!" "No way. It's just too risky!" "Oh please, please, I love you so much?!?" "No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can't!" "Oh yes you can. Please?" Out of the blue, the light on the stairs goes on, and the girl's sister shows up in her pajamas, hair disheveled, and in a sleepy voice she says, "Dad says to go ahead and give him a blow job, or I can do it. Or if need be, mom says she can come down herself and do it. But for God's sake tell him to take his hand off the intercom!"
    "ILLEGITIMIS NON CARBORUNDUM" <-- "DON'T LET THE BASTARDS GRIND YOU DOWN"

    General Joe Stiwell

    ICQ: 213-684-158
  • Slick
    Confirmed User
    • Feb 2001
    • 7338

    #2
    ROFL, ha ha ha, those were pretty good. the second one was hilarious

    Comment

    • nathan_f
      Confirmed User
      • Sep 2003
      • 3983

      #3
      Oh god, that second one is horrible...

      Comment

      • Oracle Porn
        Affiliate
        • Oct 2002
        • 24433

        #4


        Comment

        • Manowar
          jellyfish  
          • Dec 2003
          • 71528

          #5
          the third one was a banned mastercard advert, its on the internet somewhere

          Comment

          • msthumbs
            Confirmed User
            • Mar 2003
            • 215

            #6
            the last one

            Comment

            • raceman
              Confirmed User
              • Jul 2003
              • 1064

              #7
              I like the last one as well

              "ILLEGITIMIS NON CARBORUNDUM" <-- "DON'T LET THE BASTARDS GRIND YOU DOWN"

              General Joe Stiwell

              ICQ: 213-684-158

              Comment

              • eiht_98
                Confirmed User
                • Jan 2001
                • 6103

                #8
                I take the #2.

                Comment

                • Ash@phpFX
                  Confirmed User
                  • Nov 2003
                  • 4292

                  #9
                  the first two are old jokes and the third is an ad. not very original :/

                  Comment

                  • raceman
                    Confirmed User
                    • Jul 2003
                    • 1064

                    #10
                    go asher
                    "ILLEGITIMIS NON CARBORUNDUM" <-- "DON'T LET THE BASTARDS GRIND YOU DOWN"

                    General Joe Stiwell

                    ICQ: 213-684-158

                    Comment

                    • bluff
                      Too lazy to set a custom title
                      • Jan 2004
                      • 6253

                      #11
                      hahahaha

                      Comment

                      • Lykos
                        Too lazy to set a custom title
                        • Apr 2003
                        • 31027

                        #12

                        Comment

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