Session Start (yoadrianx:*): Fri Sep 03 11:00:34 2004
(*): Adrian, are you there?
yoadrianx: Yeah, how's Vegas?
(*): It's OK.. I need your help
yoadrianx: shoot
(*): I'm having a hard day hon, I'm in an emotional crisis I need a friend
yoadrianx: Emotional crisis?
(*): yes. I'm in need of a friend badly
yoadrianx: You do realize that we just "met" like a week ago right? I'm not interested in hearing your problems.
(*): Thats really hurtful!!!
yoadrianx: Hey, if you're willing to let yourself be hurt by a total stranger over IM than I really don't want to hear about your problems
(*): You remind me of a guy I once knew in Colorado
yoadrianx: Yeah? Sounds like an honest guy as well.. Tell me about him
(*): Once upon a time I lived in Colorado, my family moved there from Anaheim Hills. I was 18, pure as they come. Only been kissed once by a boy. So here I am in a beautiful tiny little town. It didn't take long for me to make friends, however it always seems that my friends are always male, I have over my lifetime had very few female friends.
(*): Anyways, I hung out with 3 guys most of the time. They were all cousins. Billy, Troy and Paul. We had a lot of fun, lots of herb to be smoked in little towns, and lots of peyote growing wild. One week we decided we would all go horseback riding and camp out for a couple days up in the mountains. It was a lot of fun. However ....
yoadrianx: I'm busy here.. wanna move this along?
(*): The last night we were there we all got real happy with the peyote, it was summer time so the nights were warm ... perfect kind of weather. We had a bonfire going, well all I really remember from that night was the fire and the peyote taking affect on me. Now just so you know, these guys had never made a move on me, they had said jokingly little things from time to time, but nothing I ever took seriously
(*): OK ... so we were all sitting around the fire, getting stupid and I was really really really wasted, drinking, smoking the herb and chewing the peyote. Next thing I remember the I was with out clothes and I was dancing around the bonfire. Thats all I remember from that night. The next morning though ... everything changed.
(*): I woke up still naked. My hands were tied and so were my ankles, I was wrapped up in a blanket and was lying under the lean to. Nobody was around. Then Troy showed up and was talking to me like it was any other day. I kept telling him to untie me and he kept saying relax and that when Paul and Billy got back that they would take care of it.
(*): He was smoking a bowl and sat me up and was giving me hits of it, and giving me water. He didn't touch me, just sat there looking at me, and telling me how beautiful I was.
yoadrianx: WTF?!
(*): About an hour later Billy and Paul rode up on the horses. They got down, and Paul came over to me. Sat down close and said, don't worry nobody touched you. We were just having fun with you.
(*): I was crying a little, he untied me and then held me. Then Billy came over and sat on the other side and kept appologizing saying they didn't want me to cry that I was there princess, that they wanted me to be happy. That they had thought about doing things, but cared too much about me. So Billy and Paul are sitting there hugging me and Paul started kissing my neck. I started feeling better and quit crying. I was so confused, I was scared, I felt betrayed, but at the same time I felt comfortable and a strange feeling was coming over me every time Paul kissed my neck.
yoadrianx: OMG, this is some crazy ass redneck boys-will-be-boys rape shit! ...so did they untie you or just tell you how much they cared as you were still tied up, drugged and naked??
(*): Yep, they untied me and kept holding me, Billy and Paul on either side hugging and kissing my neck and playing with my hair and Troy sitting at my feet rubbing them and my calves. They kept the rest of me covered up with the blanket.
(*): OK ... now this is where I get really stupid. Because I had not had sex, because I had never really had a man make me feel the feelings I was having. I started to relax and enjoy the hugging , caressing and kissing. I was still scared, and I knew it was wrong, but the feeling of it all was very overwhelming. I even though I woke up tied all up, I felt safe and comfortable with them, I had been hanging out with them for several months and they were always very protective of me. Sick I know, but when you don't know any better, and to have your 3 best friends showing you that kind of attention was awesome. Up until that time in my life the only other man that had ever been sexual with you was your dad. And that was really really sick and had turned me against all sex. So when these guys were doing this, it was the first time I had relaxed and I was actually enjoying the feelings, it was all so very confusing, and so very erotic. I couldn't help myself I wanted them, I wanted it all. I was just so happy that another man besides my dad found me exciting that way. I was very fucked up as you can see.
(*): Anyways, they promised to never tie me up again. They just wanted me to come home with them. They wanted me to move in with them. They all had a little house that they lived in, so I agreed. I ended up living with the 3 of them for almost 6 months. Billy took me first, they were all so gentle with me, I slept with them all at different times. I would wake up with one and go to bed with another, sometimes 2 of them. We did all kinds of things, I was on more than one occasion the dinner plate for the three of them, I very rarely wore clothing, they wanted me naked or nearly naked most of the time. I was at the spur of the moment to be ready to bend over for them. SO ... all of this pretty much covers both of your questions. I was a sex slave, and I loved it. But at the same time, I knew it was wrong deep down, but I managed to convince myself that I was learning what it was all about. It was strange there was never any jealously, never any arguing. It was bliss, they all worked mostly different hours, and I stayed home and did housewife things, I was there wife you could say. Troy would come home, I would give him dinner, cuddle on the couch with him. Then Paul would get home I would get up get him dinner, go back to the couch cuddle with Troy and then Paul would join us. It was very erotic to have two mens hands exploring you all the time. But it all ended. It ended friendly though and I came back to California because my mom blew her brains out. So there it is.
(*): I'm sorry, did I step over your line?
yoadrianx: That's some disturbing shit!
(*): No, you should have lived it.
yoadrianx: Maybe it was erotic or whatever on your end, but I wouldn't be able to live wtih myself if I did what they did.. I mean, who ties up, and more than likely rapes, an intoxicated teenager and then tries to seduce her the next morning, still tied up?!
yoadrianx: I'm assuming you told your dad this story?
(*): Nope, I never told him about the guys. My dad cooled it around that time, because I ran away from home to live with them, my parents had no idea where I was.
yoadrianx: you should tell him that story, he's the reason all that happened to you.
(*): Nope, no need, besides since my mom killed herself that Christmas there isn't a reason to make him feel any worse. Its all over and its in the past. Even though after my mom killed herself I had to go live with him again to take care of him.
yoadrianx: Question for ya
(*): Yes?
yoadrianx: Do you know what an ignore list is?
Session Close (yoadrianx): Fri Sep 03 12:36:26 2004