Important Job Resume
> > NAME: John Kerry
> >
> > RESIDENCE: 7 mansions, including Washington, DC, worth multimillions.
> >
> > EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE: Law Enforcement. I voted to cut every law
> > enforcement, CIA and defense bill in my career as a US Senator. I ordered
> > Boston to remove a fire hydrant which I considered unsightly, in front
> > of my mansion, thereby endangering my neighbors in the event of fire.
> >
> > MILITARY: I used three minor injuries to get an early discharge from the
> > military and service in Vietnam (as documented by the attending doctor).
> > I then returned to the US, joined Jane Fonda in protesting the war, and
> > insulted returning Vietnam vets, claiming they committed atrocities
> > and were baby killers. I threw my medals, ribbons, or something away in
> > protest. Or did I?
> > My book; Vietnam Veterans Against the War: The New Soldier
> > shows how I truly feel about the military. I deplore the military!
> >
> > COLLEGE: I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. Unlike
> > my counterpart George Bush, I have no higher education and did not get
> > admitted to Harvard nor graduate with an M.B.A.
> >
> > PAST WORK EXPERIENCE: I ran for U.S. Congress and have been there ever
> > since. I have no real world experience except that of a gigolo, by
> > marrying rich women and running HJ Heinz vicariously through my wife Teresa.
> >
> > ACCOMPLISHMENTS: As a US Senator I set the record for the most liberal
> > voting record, exceeding even Ted Kennedy and Hillary Clinton. I have
> > consistently failed to support our military and CIA by voting against
> > budgets, thus gutting our country's ability to defend itself. Although
> > I voted for the Iraq War, now I am against it and refuse to admit that I
> > voted for it. I voted for every liberal piece of legislation. I have no plan to
> > help this country but I intend to raise taxes significantly if I am elected.
> >
> > My wealth so far exceeds that of my counterpart, George Bush, that he
> > will never catch up. I make no or little charitable contributions and have
> > never agreed to pay any voluntary excess taxes in MA, despite family
> > wealth in excess of $700 million.
> >
> > I (we) own 28 manufacturing plants (Heinz) outside of the U.S. in places
> > like Asia, Mexico and Europe. We can make more profit from the cheaper
> > cost of labor in those Countries, although blame George Bush for sending
> > all of the jobs out of Country.
> >
> > Although I claim to be in favor of alternative energy sources, Ted Kennedy
> > and I oppose windmills off Nantucket and Martha's Vineyard as it might
> > spoil our view of the ocean as we cruise on our yachts.
> >
> > RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
> > None.
> >
> > PERSONAL
> > I ride a Serotta Bike.
> > My Gulfstream V Jet I call The Flying Squirrel.
> > I call my $850,000 42-foot Hinckley twin diesel yacht the "Scarmouche."
> > I am fascinated by rap and hip-hop and feel it reflects our real culture.
> > I own several "Large" SUVs including one parked at my Nantucket summer
> > mansion, though I am against large polluting inefficient vehicles and
> > blame George Bush for the energy problems.
> >
> > PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN 2004
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