Next time you have a bad day at work...think of this guy.
Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in
Louisiana.
He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.
Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to
radio station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was
sponsoring a worst job experience contest.
Needless to say, she won.
"Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.
Last week I had a bad day at the office.
I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I
would share my dilemma with you to make you realise it's not so bad
after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore
you with a few technicalities of my job.
As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea.
I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit.
This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep
warm is this: we have a diesel powered industrial water heater.
This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a
delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver
through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.
Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several
times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and
start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my
wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like
working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of a
sudden, my butt started to itch.
So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse.
Within a few seconds my butt started to burn.
I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done.
In agony I realised what had happened.
The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it
into my suit
Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish
couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate.
When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually
grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt.
I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the
communicator.
His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with
five other divers, were all laughing hysterically.
Needless to say I aborted the dive.
I was instructed to make three agonising in-water decompression
stops totalling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the
surface to begin my dry chamber decompression.
When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass
helmet.
As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter
running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to
rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber.
The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days
because my butt-hole was swollen shut."
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how
much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.
Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my
job"
Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in
Louisiana.
He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.
Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to
radio station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was
sponsoring a worst job experience contest.
Needless to say, she won.
"Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.
Last week I had a bad day at the office.
I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I
would share my dilemma with you to make you realise it's not so bad
after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore
you with a few technicalities of my job.
As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea.
I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit.
This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep
warm is this: we have a diesel powered industrial water heater.
This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a
delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver
through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.
Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several
times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and
start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my
wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like
working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of a
sudden, my butt started to itch.
So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse.
Within a few seconds my butt started to burn.
I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done.
In agony I realised what had happened.
The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it
into my suit
Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish
couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate.
When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually
grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt.
I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the
communicator.
His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with
five other divers, were all laughing hysterically.
Needless to say I aborted the dive.
I was instructed to make three agonising in-water decompression
stops totalling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the
surface to begin my dry chamber decompression.
When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass
helmet.
As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter
running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to
rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber.
The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days
because my butt-hole was swollen shut."
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how
much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.
Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my
job"
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