Thanx people...nice words and smart advices help go better trough this..
Thanx a lot..i am off from board now...i just can't write anymore..
i can't stop crying...i fell very bad

Didn't want to make attention on me couse of this...just had a need to share it with someone..and i shared it here with people i have never seen..but those kinds words means a lot to me..thanx!