How would you deal with this

Most remember my recent post about my father dying. But some things that were not posted were about events surrounding his death. One of the problems my father had was not wanting to eat or being nauseated when he did eat. This resulted in him losing a lot of weight in a short time weakining him considerable. We finally decided to have him put on a feeding tube. On the day of his death I talked to his doctors partner (his doctor went home for thanksgiving) and based on what this doctor told me I talked with my mother and we decided to tell the hospital not to ventilated him or to revive him if his heart stopped. We had strong concerns that his doctor had not informed us of everything that was wrong with my Dad but I read his medical records a few days later. My dads doctor's partner had wrong information which he passed on to me and based on that information we made the no ventilate and DNR order for the hospital. For 3 weeks now I have known that if we had let the hospital ventilate my Dad that he would still be alive now and that if he had had a few more days with the feeding tube that his body might have recovered enough to enable him to fight the lukemia. Eventaully my Mom is going to corner me and insiste I tell her what I found out from the medical files. If I had taken more time to go over things better with his doctor I might have know better but ultimatly it amounts to we had bad information and not enough faith and allowed my Father to die. This is something that I have gone over in my mind hundreds of time in the last three weeks and I just can not decide if I should tell my Mother the truth or just lie and not let her know

Nbritt