Life never ceases to amaze me. Every single fucking day you can learn something new. Take today, for instance. How could I have known?
See, I always though that the Star Trek nerds aka Trekkies were the crowned fucktard princes of the sci fi/fantasy uberloser community. Man, was I off base. Turns out the Lord of the Rings (LOTR) fanatics are both more numerous and less grounded in reality than the Trekkies. There are so damn many more of them, and all this time I had no idea. I guess they're just not as in-your-face about it as the Kirk kooks. I mean the Trekkies -- they have conventions -- several per year. They dress up in costumes on a regular basis. They make jokes that only people who studied the credits of each Star Trek episode would get. No, they make jokes about the people who study the credits of every episode but don't get the joke they should have gotten by virtue of having studied the credits of every episode. Yes. It is that bad.
But these LOTRers, they take the cake and then some. Whereas Trekkies memorize all the dialogue in an episode, these fools memorize whole chapters of the book. One chick recited the excerpt describing the whole demographics of the fucking brotherhood of the ring. Oops, my bad -- fellowship of the ring. She said something about "9 they were, one from here, one from there, blah fucking blah blah." (Probably not 9, but I was so enthralled by the fact that she memorized that shit that the specifics eluded me.) The Empress of Geekdom, I tell you.
After I saw the second installment of that cinematic abomination, suddenly 3/4 of the screennames I've seen on the internet made sense: "arwenstar," for instance. I thought maybe that was like some astronomy thing.
You know, it's one thing to be able to recite Shakespeare from memory. "Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow..." because he wrote with style which just lends itself to being stored by the brain. His puns, his quips, they all just flow off the page into the mind. But I don't give much of a damn about two midgets who hug an awful lot for heterosexuals and run around in circles in the mountains. Do you have any idea how hard it is to go in a circle by accident when you're in the mountains? Trust me, it's mostly impossible, and you'd better have a good excuse, like there's a blizzard or something.
Anyway, basements everywhere are emptying for the first time in a year which can only mean one thing: Return of the King is out.
See, I always though that the Star Trek nerds aka Trekkies were the crowned fucktard princes of the sci fi/fantasy uberloser community. Man, was I off base. Turns out the Lord of the Rings (LOTR) fanatics are both more numerous and less grounded in reality than the Trekkies. There are so damn many more of them, and all this time I had no idea. I guess they're just not as in-your-face about it as the Kirk kooks. I mean the Trekkies -- they have conventions -- several per year. They dress up in costumes on a regular basis. They make jokes that only people who studied the credits of each Star Trek episode would get. No, they make jokes about the people who study the credits of every episode but don't get the joke they should have gotten by virtue of having studied the credits of every episode. Yes. It is that bad.
But these LOTRers, they take the cake and then some. Whereas Trekkies memorize all the dialogue in an episode, these fools memorize whole chapters of the book. One chick recited the excerpt describing the whole demographics of the fucking brotherhood of the ring. Oops, my bad -- fellowship of the ring. She said something about "9 they were, one from here, one from there, blah fucking blah blah." (Probably not 9, but I was so enthralled by the fact that she memorized that shit that the specifics eluded me.) The Empress of Geekdom, I tell you.
After I saw the second installment of that cinematic abomination, suddenly 3/4 of the screennames I've seen on the internet made sense: "arwenstar," for instance. I thought maybe that was like some astronomy thing.
You know, it's one thing to be able to recite Shakespeare from memory. "Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow..." because he wrote with style which just lends itself to being stored by the brain. His puns, his quips, they all just flow off the page into the mind. But I don't give much of a damn about two midgets who hug an awful lot for heterosexuals and run around in circles in the mountains. Do you have any idea how hard it is to go in a circle by accident when you're in the mountains? Trust me, it's mostly impossible, and you'd better have a good excuse, like there's a blizzard or something.
Anyway, basements everywhere are emptying for the first time in a year which can only mean one thing: Return of the King is out.
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