Who Is The Best Fuckin PHP Programmer Here?

<?
if ( file_exists("/path/to/premium/file/$id.php")) {

function cmpa ($a, $b) { 
$tmp[0]=strtoupper($a["cnt"]); 
$tmp[1]=strtoupper($b["cnt"]); 
sort($tmp); 
return (strcmp(strtoupper($tmp[1]) , strtoupper($b["cnt"]))) ? 1 : -1; 
}

function zonechange ($current, $target) {
$current = -1 * $current;
$zonedate = mktime(date('G'), date('i'), date('s'), date('n'),
date('j'), date('Y'), 1) + (($current + $target) * 3600);
return $zonedate;
}

$dbconn = mysql_pconnect(localhost, username, password) or die("Could not connect");
$databasename = "database";
mysql_select_db ($databasename);

$query = "SELECT * FROM users_settings WHERE id='$id'";
$result = mysql_query($query) or die("Query failed it");
while ($r = mysql_fetch_array($result)) {
$uid = $r["id"];
$bannd = $r["banned"];
$tzone = $r["tzone"];
$fface = $r["font"];
$fcolor = $r["color"];
$fsize = $r["size"];
$bgcolor = $r["bg"];
$cellpad = $r["cellpd"];
$cellspc = $r["cellsp"];
$link = $r["link"];
$alink = $r["alink"];
$vlink = $r["vlink"];
$tabborder = $r["tbborder"];
$tdbg = $r["tdbg"];
}

$date=date("U");
$dateb = date('m-d-Y g:i A', zonechange(-6, $tzone));
// include("$template");


$okaysites = array("$bannd");    
$reffer = $REMOTE_ADDR;
if($reffer) {
$banned = 0;
while(list($domain, $subarray) = each($okaysites)) {
if (ereg("$reffer",$subarray)) {
$banned = 1;
}
}
}

if ($bannedhahahaha1) {
echo "You have been banned from this tag board";
} else {

if ($actionhahahahaedit) {

$query = "SELECT * FROM $id WHERE pid='$pid'";
$result = mysql_query($query) or die("Query failed 1");
while ($r = mysql_fetch_array($result)) {
$uip = $r["ip"];
if ($uiphahahaha$REMOTE_ADDR) {
$tname=$r["name"];
$tmessage=$r["message"];
$twebsite=$r["url"];
$eaccess=1;
}
}

if ($eaccesshahahaha"1") {
if (isset($ename) AND isset($emessage)) {

$queryb = "UPDATE $id SET name='$ename', url='$ewebsite', message='$emessage' WHERE pid='$pid'";
$resultb = mysql_query($queryb) or die("Query failed 2");
echo "Your tag has been edited!<br><a href=/server.php?service=ptagboard&id=$id&page=frame>Click here to go back to $id's tag board</a>.";
} else {
echo "hahahahahaha topmargin=1 leftmargin=1 bgcolor=$bgcolor link=$link alink=$alink vlink=$vlink>
<font face=$fface size=$fsize color=$fcolor>You ($REMOTE_ADDR) may edit the following:
<form action=\"/server.php?service=ptagboard&id=$id&action=edit\" method=\"post\">
<input type=hidden name=pid value=\"$pid\">
Name:<br>
<input type=text size=15 name=ename value=\"$tname\"><br>
Website:<br>
<input type=text size=15 name=ewebsite value=\"$twebsite\"><br>
Message:<br>
<input type=text size=15 name=emessage value=\"$tmessage\"><br>
<input type=submit value=Edit>
</form>
<a href=/server.php?service=ptagboard&id=$id&page=frame>Back</a>
";
}

} else {
echo "You ($REMOTE_ADDR) do not have access to edit this tag! $eaccess";
}

} else {

if ($pagehahahaha"frame") {
if (($tname) AND ($id) AND ($tmessage)) {

$queryc = "INSERT INTO $id (pid, ip, name, message, url, date) VALUES ('$date', '$REMOTE_ADDR', '$tname', '$tmessage', '$twebsite', '$dateb')";
$resultc = mysql_query($queryc) or die("Query failed 4");

//fwrite($acclstdata, "$date|$REMOTE_ADDR|$tname|$tmessage|$twebsite|$dateb\n$contents ");

}

?>
hahahahahaha topmargin=1 leftmargin=1 bgcolor=<? echo $bgcolor; ?> link=<? echo $link; ?> alink=<? echo $alink; ?> vlink=<? echo $vlink; ?>>
<STYLE type=text/css>
BODY {
SCROLLBAR-FACE-COLOR: <? echo $bgcolor; ?>;
SCROLLBAR-HIGHLIGHT-COLOR: <? echo $bgcolor; ?>;
SCROLLBAR-SHADOW-COLOR: <? echo $tdbg; ?>;
SCROLLBAR-3DLIGHT-COLOR: <? echo $bgcolor; ?>;
SCROLLBAR-ARROW-COLOR: <? echo $link; ?>;
SCROLLBAR-TRACK-COLOR: <? echo $bgcolor; ?>;
SCROLLBAR-DARKSHADOW-COLOR: <? echo $bgcolor; ?>

}
a:link { color : <? echo $link; ?>; TEXT-DECORATION: none }
a:visited { color : <? echo $vlink; ?>; TEXT-DECORATION: none}
a:hover { color : <? echo $alink; ?>; TEXT-DECORATION: none }
</STYLE>
<table border=<? echo $tabborder; ?> width=100% cellpadding=<? echo $cellpad; ?> cellspacing=<? echo $cellspc; ?> bgcolor=<? echo $tabbg; ?>>
<?
$count=0;
$query = "SELECT * FROM $id";
$result = mysql_query($query) or die("Query failed 1");
while ($r = mysql_fetch_array($result)) {
$count=$count+1;
$now = date("U");
$compare = $now-$r[pid];
$listing[$count]["cnt"]="$compare";
$listing[$count]["pid"] = $r["pid"];
$listing[$count]["ip"] = $r["ip"];
$listing[$count]["name"] = $r["name"];
$listing[$count]["message"] = $r["message"];
$listing[$count]["url"] = $r["url"];
$listing[$count]["date"] = $r["date"];
}

$pcount=0;
usort($listing, "cmpa");
while (list ($key, $value) = each ($listing)) {
$pcount=$pcount+1;

$name="<a href=$value[url] target=_blank>$value[name]</a>";
if ($value[url]hahahaha"") {
$name=$value[name];
}
$message=$value["message"];
$time=$value["date"];
$message = ereg_replace("[[:alpha:]]+://[^<>[:space:]]+[[:alnum:]/]", "<a href=\"\\0\" target=\"_blank\">\\0</a>", $message);
//include("$template");
if ($value[pid]hahahaha"") {
} else {
if ($value[ip]hahahaha$REMOTE_ADDR) {
$edit = "<a href=/server.php?service=ptagboard&id=$id&action=edit&pid=$value[pid]>[edit]</a>";
}
$message=str_replace(':)','<img src="/images/premium/tagboard/happy.gif" border="0">',$message);
$message=str_replace('o:-)','<img src="/images/premium/tagboard/angel.gif" border="0">',$message);
$message=str_replace('::bangbang::','<img src="/images/premium/tagboard/bangbang.gif" border="0">',$message);
$message=str_replace('::rollsye::','<img src="/images/premium/tagboard/blah.gif" border="0">',$message);
$message=str_replace('8-)','<img src="/images/premium/tagboard/cool.gif" border="0">',$message);
$message=str_replace('::eek::','<img src="/images/premium/tagboard/eek.gif" border="0">',$message);
$message=str_replace('::eek2::','<img src="/images/premium/tagboard/eek2.gif" border="0">',$message);
$message=str_replace('>o)','<img src="/images/premium/tagboard/evil.gif" border="0">',$message);
$message=str_replace('::fu::','<img src="/images/premium/tagboard/fu.gif" border="0">',$message);
$message=str_replace('<3','<img src="/images/premium/tagboard/heart.gif" border="0">',$message);
$message=str_replace(':-D','<img src="/images/premium/tagboard/hehe.gif" border="0">',$message);
$message=str_replace('::lol::','<img src="/images/premium/tagboard/lol.gif" border="0">',$message);
$message=str_replace('::mad::','<img src="/images/premium/tagboard/mad.gif" border="0">',$message);
$message=str_replace('::nerd::','<img src="/images/premium/tagboard/nerd.gif" border="0">',$message);
$message=str_replace(':(','<img src="/images/premium/tagboard/sad.gif" border="0">',$message);
$message=str_replace('::zzz::','<img src="/images/premium/tagboard/sleep.gif" border="0">',$message);
$message=str_replace('::tard::','<img src="/images/premium/tagboard/tard.gif" border="0">',$message);
$message=str_replace('::bangbang::','<img src="/images/premium/tagboard/bangbang.gif" border="0">',$message);
$message=str_replace(':-p','<img src="/images/premium/tagboard/tounge.gif" border="0">',$message);
$message=str_replace(';)','<img src="/images/premium/tagboard/wink.gif" border="0">',$message);

if ($viewhahahaha"all") {
echo "<tr><td bgcolor=$tdbg><font face=$fface size=$fsize color=$fcolor>$name: $message<br><font size=1>Posted: $time $edit</font></td></tr>";
} else {
if ($pcount < 15) {
echo "<tr><td bgcolor=$tdbg><font face=$fface size=$fsize color=$fcolor>$name: $message<br><font size=1>Posted: $time $edit</font></td></tr>";
}
}

}
$edit="";
}
?>
</table>
<center><font face=<? echo $fface; ?> size=<? echo $fsize; ?> color=<? echo $fcolor; ?>>[ <a href="http://www.veroweb.com/server.php?service=ptagboard&id=<? echo $id; ?>&page=frame&view=all">View All Tags</a> ]</font>
<?
} else {
?>
hahahahahahahaha language="hahahahahahahahahaha">
function clear_message()
{
  hahahahahahahahahahauqgtb.tmessage.focus();
  hahahahahahahahahahauqgtb.tmessage.select();
}
function Clear_Last_Message_on_Submit() 
{ 
  hahahahahahahahahahauqgtb.submit();
  setTimeout("clear_message()",200);
  return false;
}
</hahahahahahahaha
<form action=/server.php?service=ptagboard&id=<? echo $id; ?>&page=frame method=post target=tagframe name=uqgtb><hahahahahaha src='/server.php?service=ptagboard&id=<? echo $id;?>&page=frame' name='tagframe' style='width:250; height:150; overflow:none'></hahahahahaha>
<br><font face=tahoma size=2>
Name<br><input type=text name=tname size=20><br>
URL<br><input type=text name=twebsite size=20><br>
Message<br><input type=text name=tmessage size=20><br>
<input type=submit value=Tag! onclick="return Clear_Last_Message_on_Submit();"></font></form>
<?
}
}
}
mysql_close($dbconn);

} else {
echo "$id is not a premium user!";
}
?>

<?
echo "Hello World!";
?>