For all you Golfers

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  • mary34d
    Confirmed User
    • Aug 2003
    • 3358

    #1

    For all you Golfers

    Someone emailed me this a while back



    For all you golfers, and all U sports fans 4 that matter...

    The following is forwarded not to offend tennis, basketball, football or
    soccer fans. It is, rather, an attempt to put everything in its proper perspective.

    Ever wonder why golf is growing in popularity and people who don't even play
    go to tournaments or watch it on TV? These truisms may shed light on reasons why.

    Golf is an honorable game, with the overwhelming majority of players being
    honorable people who don't need referees.

    Golfers don't have some of their players in jail every week.

    Golfers don't scratch their privates on the golf course.

    Golfers don't kick dirt on, or throw bottles at, other people.

    Professional golfers are compensated in direct proportion to how well they play.

    Golfers don't get per diem and two seats on a charter flight when they travel
    between tournaments.

    Golfers don't hold out for more money, or demand new contracts, because of
    another player's deal.

    Professional golfers don't deman! d that the taxpayers pay for the courses on
    which they play.

    When golfers make a mistake, nobody is there to cover for them or back them up.

    The PGA Tour raises more money for charity in one year than the National
    Football League does in two.

    You can watch the best golfers in the world up close, at any tournament,
    including the majors, all day, every day for $25 or $30. The cost for a seat in
    the nosebleed section at the Super Bowl will cost around $300 or more.

    You can bring a picnic lunch to the tournament golf course, watch the best in
    the world and not spend a small fortune on food and drink. Try that at one of
    the taxpayer funded baseball or football stadiums.


    In golf you cannot fail 70% of the time and make $9 million a season, like
    the best baseball hitters (.300) batting average) do.

    Golf doesn't change its rules to at! tract fans.

    Golfers have to adapt to an entirely new playing area each week.

    Golfers keep their clothes on while they are being interviewed.

    Golf doesn't have free agency.

    In their prime, Greg Norman, Arnold Palmer and other stars, would shake your
    hand and say they were happy to meet you. In his prime Jose Canseco wore
    T-shirts that read "Leave Me Alone."

    You can hear birds chirping on the golf course during a tournament.

    At a golf tournament, (unlike at taxpayer-funded sports stadiums and arenas)
    you won't hear a steady stream of four letter words and nasty name calling
    while you're hoping that no one spills beer on you.

    Tiger Woods can hit a golf ball three times as far as Barry Bonds can hit a baseball.

    Golf Courses don't ruin the neighborhood.


    Now, this is a slice of golf history I thought you might enjoy. I never knew why
    there were 18 holes before this. Why do full-length golf courses have 18 holes,
    and not 20, or 10 or an even dozen? How many of you golfers know the answer
    to this one?

    During a discussion among the club's membership board at St. Andrew's in
    1858, one of the members pointed out that it takes exactly
    18 shots to polish off a fifth of Scotch. By limiting himself to only one
    shot of Scotch per hole, the Scot figured a round of golf was finished when the
    Scotch ran out.


    ~\|/~
    <(©¿©)>
    Keep Smilin'


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  • Evil1
    Confirmed User
    • Mar 2002
    • 3893

    #2
    golf is behind even soccer as the most boring thing on the planet.

    Comment

    • Trax
      [----------------------]
      • Aug 2001
      • 14486

      #3
      Originally posted by Evil1
      golf is behind even soccer as the most boring thing on the planet.
      you obviously never played golf yourself and therefore know shit what you're talking about.

      nice text mary

      Comment

      • taboo_dude
        Confirmed User
        • Oct 2003
        • 707

        #4
        A lot of truths in there.
        If you've got them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow. The Duke.

        Comment

        • DTK
          Confirmed User
          • Feb 2002
          • 4546

          #5
          Nice post. I'll add another one: You can play golf for almost your entire life
          Arguing whether the Democratic or Republican party is better is like debating which steaming pile of shit is slightly less stinky.

          Comment

          • SpaceAce
            Confirmed User
            • Jul 2002
            • 6493

            #6
            Originally posted by Trax
            you obviously never played golf yourself and therefore know shit what you're talking about.

            nice text mary
            I've played a lot of golf and I agree that it's dead-ass boring.

            There are a few good points in that list, though.

            SpaceAce

            Comment

            • Ross
              Ik ben een aap
              • Sep 2002
              • 18874

              #7
              Originally posted by Trax
              you obviously never played golf yourself and therefore know shit what you're talking about.

              nice text mary
              True, and he obviously has never played soccer either.

              Comment

              • Trax
                [----------------------]
                • Aug 2001
                • 14486

                #8
                Originally posted by SpaceAce
                I've played a lot of golf and I agree that it's dead-ass boring.
                so why did you play "a lot of golf" when it has been so dead-ass boring?

                Comment

                • Thugmaster
                  Confirmed User
                  • Jun 2004
                  • 1033

                  #9
                  Originally posted by mary34d



                  Golfers don't scratch their privates on the golf course.

                  Golfers don't kick dirt on, or throw bottles at, other people.



                  I break those rules every week when I play .


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                  Comment

                  • mary34d
                    Confirmed User
                    • Aug 2003
                    • 3358

                    #10
                    Originally posted by Trax
                    you obviously never played golf yourself and therefore know shit what you're talking about.

                    nice text mary
                    thx...someone emailed me that cause they knew i played golf...

                    hey, anyone want to get a round in down here at internext?


                    The guys at CJ Bucks will do absolutely anything to get your business. You owe it to yourself to at least ask!

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                    • Trax
                      [----------------------]
                      • Aug 2001
                      • 14486

                      #11
                      Originally posted by mary34d
                      thx...someone emailed me that cause they knew i played golf...

                      hey, anyone want to get a round in down here at internext?
                      yes sure
                      I am actually about to organzize a GFY golf tournament in FL
                      I read that the court close to the hotel is one of floridas best

                      Comment

                      • mary34d
                        Confirmed User
                        • Aug 2003
                        • 3358

                        #12
                        Originally posted by Trax
                        yes sure
                        I am actually about to organzize a GFY golf tournament in FL
                        I read that the court close to the hotel is one of floridas best
                        turnberry is not bad...let me know how many people/tee times are needed and I'll see if they'll give us a PGA family discount on my father's number.


                        The guys at CJ Bucks will do absolutely anything to get your business. You owe it to yourself to at least ask!

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                        • Basic_man
                          Programming King Pin
                          • Oct 2003
                          • 27360

                          #13
                          Funny thing
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                          • Trax
                            [----------------------]
                            • Aug 2001
                            • 14486

                            #14
                            Originally posted by mary34d
                            turnberry is not bad...let me know how many people/tee times are needed and I'll see if they'll give us a PGA family discount on my father's number.
                            hit me up on icq: 59 101 924
                            so i dont lose you ;)

                            Comment

                            • ZanyCash Larry
                              Confirmed User
                              • Jun 2004
                              • 1057

                              #15
                              Funny, Golf is a good sport

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                              • C-Bass
                                Confirmed User
                                • Apr 2003
                                • 3153

                                #16
                                Nice post Mary!


                                ever played yourself? I'm sure you'd look awesomely hot in a little golf outfit swingin a big-ass driver!
                                "Unhappy with the riches 'cause you're piss poor morally."

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                                • Scott McD
                                  Too lazy to set a custom title
                                  • Nov 2002
                                  • 67792

                                  #17
                                  Originally posted by Evil1
                                  golf is behind even soccer as the most boring thing on the planet.
                                  I take it your a baseball fan then...


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                                  • taboo_dude
                                    Confirmed User
                                    • Oct 2003
                                    • 707

                                    #18
                                    Mary, Trax,

                                    I wouldn't mind hitting 18. Was going to last year but was too busy with the booth and partys.
                                    If you've got them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow. The Duke.

                                    Comment

                                    • MinX
                                      Confirmed User
                                      • Jun 2004
                                      • 417

                                      #19
                                      I enjoy the odd game of golf... make a nice change.. the buggys are probably the appeal tho... as i found out..they actually go faster in reverse!
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                                      • Magnus
                                        Confirmed User
                                        • Dec 2002
                                        • 1211

                                        #20
                                        Plus you can drink beer while driving.!!! Thats why I love golf so much.
                                        Magnus

                                        Comment

                                        • kowntafit
                                          Confirmed User
                                          • Jan 2004
                                          • 4667

                                          #21
                                          I don't find golf entirely exciting, but then again I've never been into extreme sports.

                                          This is where my next million is coming from!

                                          Comment

                                          • mary34d
                                            Confirmed User
                                            • Aug 2003
                                            • 3358

                                            #22
                                            Originally posted by Spotter_03
                                            Nice post Mary!


                                            ever played yourself? I'm sure you'd look awesomely hot in a little golf outfit swingin a big-ass driver!
                                            my father was on the PGA tour owned 2 golf courses and had stock/board membership on another 2, i had a 4 handicap and now it's a 6 (red tees)


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                                            • mary34d
                                              Confirmed User
                                              • Aug 2003
                                              • 3358

                                              #23
                                              Originally posted by taboo_dude
                                              Mary, Trax,

                                              I wouldn't mind hitting 18. Was going to last year but was too busy with the booth and partys.
                                              totally i worked so hard last year i was in bed by 7-8pm and then i was back at the show at 8:30am


                                              The guys at CJ Bucks will do absolutely anything to get your business. You owe it to yourself to at least ask!

                                              Free Hosting, Content, etc. CJ Bucks has it all. Sign up! I'll show you my tits now you show me your traffic.

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                                              • mary34d
                                                Confirmed User
                                                • Aug 2003
                                                • 3358

                                                #24
                                                Originally posted by Trax
                                                hit me up on icq: 59 101 924
                                                so i dont lose you ;)
                                                i did my icq is 4609370


                                                The guys at CJ Bucks will do absolutely anything to get your business. You owe it to yourself to at least ask!

                                                Free Hosting, Content, etc. CJ Bucks has it all. Sign up! I'll show you my tits now you show me your traffic.

                                                Comment

                                                • benc
                                                  Confirmed User
                                                  • Jan 2002
                                                  • 788

                                                  #25
                                                  I like golf but some of those things are bs. Alot of them are true, but things like this are stupid.

                                                  "Tiger Woods can hit a golf ball three times as far as Barry Bonds can hit a baseball. "

                                                  Hell, I could hit a golfball farther than Bonds hits a homer. Its comparing apples to oranges, and its a lot harder to hit something going 90mph with movement, than hitting something sitting on a tee.



                                                  I've been to some golf tournaments. It wasnt really all that much fun though. I would rather be playing.
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