The best pitch I ever heard about cocaine was back in the early eighties when a street dealer followed me down the sidewalk going: I got some great blow man. I got the stuff that killed Belushi."
Denis Leary. sid375
Denis Leary. sid375
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Finance is the art of passing money from hand to hand until it finally disappears
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"I've stopped drinking, but only while I'm asleep."
George best sid375Comment
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It is by universal misunderstanding that all agree. For if, by ill luck, people understood each other, they would never agree
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"I'm not really a heavy smoker any more. I only get through two lighters a day now."
Bill Hicks. sid375Comment
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"I make it a rule never to smoke while I'm sleeping."
Mark Twain. sid375Comment
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The worst moment for the atheist is when he is really thankful and has nobody to thank
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"What I like to drink most is wine that belongs to others."
Diogenes. sid375Comment
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Paradise is exactly like where you are right now...only much, much better
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"If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon."
WC Fields. sid375Comment
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Dealing with network executives is like being nibbled to death by ducks
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I am taking a break at 500
sid375
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"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. They wake up in the morning and that's the best they're going to feel all day."
Dean Martin. sid375Comment
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We do what we must, and call it by the best names
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"The difference between a drunk and a alcoholic is that a drunk doesn't have to attend all those meetings."
Arthur Lewis. sid375Comment
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One of the indictments of civilizations is that happiness and intelligence are so rarely found in the same person.
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"A tavern is a place where madness is sold by the bottle."
Jonathan Swift. sid375Comment
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I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean.
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"The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a beer bottle, they're on TV."
Homer Simpson. sid375Comment
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Hehehe... good to see your still going strong... keep it up
SIG TOO BIG! Maximum 120x60 button and no more than 3 text lines of DEFAULT SIZE and COLOR. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, you may use a 624x80 instead of a 120x60. Let me repeat... A 120 x 60 button and no more that 3 lines of DEFAULT SIZE AND COLOR text.Comment
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"I would never do crack... I would never do a drug named after a part of my own ass, okay?"
Denis Leary sid375Comment
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Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke.
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"Work is the curse of the drinking classes."
Oscar Wilde. sid375Comment
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When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.Comment
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"Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others."
Groucho Marx. sid375Comment
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Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking
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"The English country gentleman galloping after a fox - The unspeakable in full pursuit of the uneatable."
Oscar Wilde ('A Woman of No Importance' 1893). sid375Comment
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You're never too old to become younger.
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"She had lost the art of conversation but not, unfortunately, the power of speech."
George Barnard Shaw sid375Comment
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Faith is a cop-out. If the only way you can accept an assertion is by faith, then you are conceding that it can?t be taken on its own merits.
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"The nice thing about being a celebrity is that if you bore people they think it's their fault."
Henry Kissinger. sid375Comment
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Talent hits a target no one else can hit; Genius hits a target no one else can see.
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"Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business."
Dave Barry sid375Comment
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It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens
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You can observe a lot just by watching.
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"Cockroaches and socialites are the only things that can stay up all night and eat anything."
Herb Caen. sid375Comment
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Hollywood is a place where they'll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss and fifty cents for your soul.
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"The cocktail party is a device for paying off obligations to people you don't want to invite for dinner."
Charles Smith. sid375Comment
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Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.
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"Experience is the name every one gives to their mistakes."
Oscar Wilde ('Lady Windemere's Fan' 1892). sid375Comment
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An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.
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"As yet, Bernard Shaw hasn't become prominent enough to have any enemies, but none of his friends like him."
Oscar Wilde sid375Comment
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In the future everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes.
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"He was a great patriot, a humanitarian, a loyal friend; provided, of course, he really is dead."
Voltaire. sid375Comment
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Consistency requires you to be as ignorant today as you were a year ago.
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"It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent."
Dave Barry. sid375Comment
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One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men. No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man.
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"I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members."
Groucho Marx. sid375Comment
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"I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specifically."
Steven Wright. sid375Comment
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