Could your child be a hacker?

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  • evilregis
    Confirmed User
    • Oct 2003
    • 163

    #1

    Could your child be a hacker?

    http://www.sciaphobia.net/hacker.html

    HAHAHA a friend sent this to me today... what really chaps my ass is this guy is going on like he's an expert about how to tell if your child is a hacker, but he has *NO* idea what he's even talking about. Unbelievable to me that someone seems like they spent more time writing the article than they did researching what constitutes a "hacker" and tries to get parents to follow these ridiculous guidlines. Too stupid for words.

    Exerpts:

    Your son will probably try to install some hacker software. He may attempt to conceal the presence of the software in some way, but you can usually find any new programs by reading through the programs listed under "Install/Remove Programs" in your control panel. Popular hacker software includes "Comet Cursor", "Bonzi Buddy" and "Flash".

    If your son has requested a new "processor" from a company called "AMD", this is genuine cause for alarm. AMD is a third-world based company who make inferior, "knock-off" copies of American processor chips. They use child labor extensively in their third world sweatshops, and they deliberately disable the security features that American processor makers, such as Intel, use to prevent hacking.

    Quake is an online virtual reality used by hackers. It is a popular meeting place and training ground, where they discuss hacking and train in the use of various firearms.

    BSD, Lunix, Debian and Mandrake are all versions of an illegal hacker operation system, invented by a Soviet computer hacker named Linyos Torovoltos, before the Russians lost the Cold War.

    These programs are used by hackers to break into other people's computer systems to steal credit card numbers. They may also be used to break into people's stereos to steal their music, using the "mp3" program. Torovoltos is a notorious hacker, responsible for writing many hacker programs, such as "telnet", which is used by hackers to connect to machines on the internet without using a telephone.
    eR
    :: beauty is in the eye of the beer-holder ::
  • Plan9
    Confirmed User
    • Jul 2003
    • 1801

    #2
    psst. I think its a joke ;)

    Comment

    • BluntMatch
      Confirmed User
      • Nov 2003
      • 380

      #3
      That is the funniest shit I've ever read!

      Comment

      • evilregis
        Confirmed User
        • Oct 2003
        • 163

        #4
        no man... i asked my buddy the same thing when i read it... if it was a joke. apparently that site also has an article linking day care to communism.
        eR
        :: beauty is in the eye of the beer-holder ::

        Comment

        • BluntMatch
          Confirmed User
          • Nov 2003
          • 380

          #5
          11. Did your son buy a new luxury car?

          Comment

          • GeXus
            Confirmed User
            • May 2003
            • 3320

            #6
            17 year old daughter "sneek" out on a date wearing make up? Since when is 17 concidered to young to date.

            Comment

            • evilregis
              Confirmed User
              • Oct 2003
              • 163

              #7
              Originally posted by BluntMatch
              11. Did your son buy a new luxury car?
              wouldn't that be "how to tell if your child is a successful pornographer?"
              eR
              :: beauty is in the eye of the beer-holder ::

              Comment

              • Baal
                Confirmed User
                • Jan 2002
                • 696

                #8
                Yeah, that site must be for real, since it's on the Internet and all.
                You should check out a site called The Onion . There are all sorts of TRUE stories like this one that will blow your mind!

                Comment

                • fuzebox
                  making it rain
                  • Oct 2003
                  • 22365

                  #9
                  Doesn't anyone else remember that "Gibbons" was the name of the "anti-hacking" FBI agent in the movie Hackers from 1996?

                  I can't believe how many people are taking the article, look at the idiocy in its comments :p

                  Comment

                  • Smokey The Bear
                    So Fucking Banned
                    • Oct 2003
                    • 786

                    #10
                    um duh its a joke , try reading the homepage its an excerpt of an old old story

                    <img src="http://www.sciaphobia.net/gallery/fbsowns.jpg">
                    Last edited by Smokey The Bear; 11-15-2003, 11:42 PM.

                    Comment

                    • aaron
                      Confirmed User
                      • Mar 2003
                      • 4452

                      #11
                      jesus you guys just found this? its fucking old!!!!!!

                      Comment

                      • $5 submissions
                        I help you SUCCEED
                        • Nov 2003
                        • 32189

                        #12
                        Originally posted by Smokey The Bear
                        um duh its a joke , try reading the homepage its an excerpt of an old old story

                        <img src="http://www.sciaphobia.net/gallery/fbsowns.jpg">
                        That FREE BSD devil sure knows how to lay the pipe onto some quivering helpless tender twink Penguin bunghole!
                        Funny picture, Smokey!!!

                        Comment

                        • $5 submissions
                          I help you SUCCEED
                          • Nov 2003
                          • 32189

                          #13
                          That list is not complete...

                          No. 14 If your son keeps asking his friends for fresh proxies every 8 hours, your son just may be a hacker.

                          No. 15 If your child keeps using the terms IP and port and she is neither talking about urination or maritime navigation, your child just may be a hacker.

                          LOL. This is like the geek version of the tired Jeff Foxworthy "You may be a redneck" schtick.

                          Comment

                          • Project-Shadow
                            Confirmed User
                            • Feb 2003
                            • 7340

                            #14
                            I remember reading that 2 years ago ^_^''

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