GoFuckYourself.com - Adult Webmaster Forum - View Single Post - I got a fucking tick in my belly button, how do I get rid of it?

Tofu · 06-17-2004, 02:09 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Buddy
Okay, this is an amusing story and this thread seems an appropriate place to put it:

My encounter with the greater bostonian satchel dwelling tick.
Part 1
I had just returned from spending the weekend at my fathers place in the country, I had brought my wife out there to hang out while I went away for business for a week. While there I had done my laundry and dried it on the clothes line in the backyard (this is important later). So I'm in Boston staying with friends, I'm getting ready to crash in the guest room, changing my clothes etc. I reach down to adjust my sack and am shocked to find a big ass bump on the side. It's hard to explain in retrospect the sheer horror of grabbing your own sac and finding something wrong. So any way, it's a fucking tick, and a well fed one I might add. She's HUGE from sucking my satchel blood. I am assuming that she was a she because, well frankly I'm worried that a dude being on my sack, even an insect dude, might make me gay. Anyhoo, so I get some tweezers and yank the fucker out. But I can't tell if I got the whole fucking thing and I am reading on the web that some ticks will leave their head behind and still live, or cause infections, and the idea of an infected sack is not something I want to fuck with. So I decide that I should go to the doctor and have him take a look. It's evening so my only option is the er, but the idea of waking up to a horribly swollen infected sack is not very appealing so I decide to go. On the way I'm trying to figure out how she got there. All I can figure is that she was hiding in my boxers drying on the line at my dads house in the country.

Part 2
I arrive at the er and march up to the triage nurse and tell her I would like to see a doctor. She asks what is wrong and I suddenly realize that I have to tell another human being about the parasitic bug on my sack. I tell her, as best I can, stumbling over the word scrotum: I have a tick on my scrotum, I think.
She turns bright red and laughs at me. Which honestly made it a little easier. We joked about it for a minute and she told me to have a seat and wait for a free doctor. Obviously I'm low on the priority list. People are bleeding and dying and what not, so I settle down and read the book I brought with me.
Some time later they have me come back and strip down to my birthday suit and wait for the doc in a little room. So here I am buck naked, with a tick head stuck in my balls, freezing my ass off waiting for the doc, some 50 year old grandfatherly figure that will have a quick peek at my boys tell me everything is great and send me on my way. At least that is how it went in my head.
In walks the doctor. She is sooooooo hot. She is younger then me, like late 20's, she must be doing her residency. Soooooo hot. She asked me what the problem was, and I asked her if maybe there wasn't another doctor that I could see. She said no, there wasn't. i tell her the story, and bless her, she tried as hard as she could not to laugh at me as she examined my sack for signs of insect life. In the end it turns out that I had gotten the whole tick out, and she prescribed some drugs to prevent infection and sent me on my way.

The end.

OMG!!! Great fuckin story!!!!