Are you Phsyco?
Just to put everone at ease answer the following questions?
Your new three week old pet puppy has playfully bitten your finger and wont let go. How do you react?
____ Fling your arm wildly about over your head until he lets go
____ Put him in the Microwave, slamming the door on his little head until he loses conscienceness
____ Bite his little paw hard until he lets go of your finger
____ Carefully press his little mouth so that it opens just wide enough for you to remove your finger.
____ Kiss him sweetly on the bottom for being such a silly thing!
You are cooking at your girlfriend's house. You notice that the tins of vegetables have been stacked in un alphabetical order. What do you do?
___ Re arrange them all into alphabetical order immediately
___ I don't have an alphabetical thing, as long as all the tins have been placed the right way up
___ Criticise her slovenly ways while holding a knife
___ Huh? What? I dont even know the alphabet
What is the best part of your non killing day?
___ Can't remember that far back
___ Juicing the oranges for breakfast with my bare hands
___ Watching Friends
___ Changing my nappy
Your favorite Chain Saw is still under guarantee but the chain has worn out. What do you do?
___ Wash it thoroughly and then take it back for a replacement
___ As a but you take it back as is, the stupid assistant will not notice anyways
___ Chains Saws are for wimps. Change to an axe
___ Soak it in a bath of acid to destroy the evidence
When you chop Onions do you imagine they are someone's brains?
___ Nope, never
___ No - brains are much more squidgy - onions are crisp to the crunch!
___ I only ever use red onions for a close to brain splicing experience!
___ I like to toy with the onion before cutting it up, sometimes flicking bits so they stick on the walls which they rarely do as there is no blood on them!
You have bought a bunch of flowers for a girlfriend but one of the flowers is trying to pick a fight with you. What do you do?
___ Look around for Candid Camera
___ Pull the flower out of the bunch and throw it violently into a bin
___ Don't take any thing from that sucka, argue back - what the hell does a flower know about shit anyway, huh?
___ Take the flowers back to the place where you bought them - tell the assistant you didn't want a talking flower, please replace them immediately
A local male politician has invited you to a meal, but throughout the meal he is constantly looking at your chest. You are a man. How do you react?
___ Stare back at his chest defiantly
___ Ask him to stop looking at your chest like that
___ Follow him to the toilets and bash his head up in the urinals
___ Open your shirt to show him a bit of nipple
Is a cemetary half full or half empty?
___ Half full
___ Half empty
___ Sausages
___ Stop stressing me out, I'm working as hard as I can!
Your new three week old pet puppy has playfully bitten your finger and wont let go. How do you react?
____ Fling your arm wildly about over your head until he lets go
____ Put him in the Microwave, slamming the door on his little head until he loses conscienceness
____ Bite his little paw hard until he lets go of your finger
____ Carefully press his little mouth so that it opens just wide enough for you to remove your finger.
____ Kiss him sweetly on the bottom for being such a silly thing!
You are cooking at your girlfriend's house. You notice that the tins of vegetables have been stacked in un alphabetical order. What do you do?
___ Re arrange them all into alphabetical order immediately
___ I don't have an alphabetical thing, as long as all the tins have been placed the right way up
___ Criticise her slovenly ways while holding a knife
___ Huh? What? I dont even know the alphabet
What is the best part of your non killing day?
___ Can't remember that far back
___ Juicing the oranges for breakfast with my bare hands
___ Watching Friends
___ Changing my nappy
Your favorite Chain Saw is still under guarantee but the chain has worn out. What do you do?
___ Wash it thoroughly and then take it back for a replacement
___ As a but you take it back as is, the stupid assistant will not notice anyways
___ Chains Saws are for wimps. Change to an axe
___ Soak it in a bath of acid to destroy the evidence
When you chop Onions do you imagine they are someone's brains?
___ Nope, never
___ No - brains are much more squidgy - onions are crisp to the crunch!
___ I only ever use red onions for a close to brain splicing experience!
___ I like to toy with the onion before cutting it up, sometimes flicking bits so they stick on the walls which they rarely do as there is no blood on them!
You have bought a bunch of flowers for a girlfriend but one of the flowers is trying to pick a fight with you. What do you do?
___ Look around for Candid Camera
___ Pull the flower out of the bunch and throw it violently into a bin
___ Don't take any thing from that sucka, argue back - what the hell does a flower know about shit anyway, huh?
___ Take the flowers back to the place where you bought them - tell the assistant you didn't want a talking flower, please replace them immediately
A local male politician has invited you to a meal, but throughout the meal he is constantly looking at your chest. You are a man. How do you react?
___ Stare back at his chest defiantly
___ Ask him to stop looking at your chest like that
___ Follow him to the toilets and bash his head up in the urinals
___ Open your shirt to show him a bit of nipple
Is a cemetary half full or half empty?
___ Half full
___ Half empty
___ Sausages
___ Stop stressing me out, I'm working as hard as I can!
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