Quote:
Originally posted by Nysus
Were you with many partners before you were married? Just trying to figure out what made you become comfortable with such thinking. If you had sex with 100s of different people than sex becomes casual, though "most" people do not have 100s of partners, and thus sex and love are tightly connected.
Cheers,
Matt
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For me it was because my wife had only ever been with me. The only time I ever felt insecure in our marriage was because I was her first. I got very paranoid because she flirt and be "sexual" with other guys, friends of mine, and I was certain that one day she would cheat on me. The more I faced that paranoia the more I came to realization that it actually turned me on to think about her with another guy.
It was very slow but we spoke about swinging. We read about it, talked about etc. It started with casual conversation like if we were out somewhere and she'd notice me looking at another female we'd talk aobut it openly. I can tell her that I'm attracted to other females and she can do the same regarding males etc.
At one point, a couple years ago, she became interested in stripping and we went to a few clubs together to scope them out so she could get an idea of what it was really like etc. and what clubs were "clean" or not. After that it became a regular activity of ours to go to strip clubs together for fun.
We also started going to swing dances and parties etc. And it evolved from there.
We don't actually have an open marriage. We have a "same room" rule. Meaning we only play with other couples together. Group activities etc. I would be ok with an open marriage.. the idea of her being with other guys doesn't bother me .. but she's not that comfortable and that's fine with me.