Do you like to keep this biz apart from your "private" life? - GoFuckYourself.com - Adult Webmaster Forum

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TheFLY

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#1

Do you like to keep this biz apart from your "private" life?

11-03-2003, 08:29 AM

I wonder what would happen if I moved to Portland... I'd be hanging out with a few people connected to this biz...

As I get older I'm starting to see how tight social groups really are -- some of these "scenes" are really annoying. I think I realized why I spend so much time by myself in town here -- I'm not about to sell-out to one of these sub-cultures...

What's your "scene" like if you belong to one outside of this biz...?
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#2

11-03-2003, 08:29 AM

outside?

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#3

11-03-2003, 08:31 AM

"Do you like to keep this biz apart from your "private" life? "

yes
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TheFLY

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#4

11-03-2003, 08:34 AM

I was at a party last weekend -- it was an open party... Some some "undesirable" types came by and that's when a lot of the scenesters started getting wierd... That's when I realized how wack these people were. It's pretty funny to see a crowd that snooty -- this house was on the edge of town maybe 3 blocks from where all the drug dealers/hookers do their thing -- and they wonder why people are crashing this party with a DJ playing and the front door open...
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#5

11-03-2003, 08:36 AM

private life?

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TheFLY

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#6

11-03-2003, 08:50 AM

Sometimes I think it would just be easier to hang with people in this biz when I'm not working...

When I do tell people what I do for work -- the reaction is unpredictable... Places where I hang out -- inevitably people get curious -- especially in a small town like this -- people instantly try to classify you -- where does he/she work, what group does he/she belong to, etc...

There really aren't any cool geeks around here either... I'd say the EMO girls are probably the hottest here but where they hang out is very gay -- gay music, overly trendy clothes, overpriced salads.... They try to be artistic -- but most of them just suck at photography.
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TheLegacy

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#7

11-03-2003, 09:09 AM

Personally I dont keep it private - if someone doesnt like what I do they have no business being my friend. Friends stay not because of what you - but who you are as a person.

If they cant accept what I do its a form of prejudice that I wont tolerate.

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Raven

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#8

11-03-2003, 09:15 AM

Originally posted by TheFLY
Sometimes I think it would just be easier to hang with people in this biz when I'm not working...

When I do tell people what I do for work -- the reaction is unpredictable... Places where I hang out -- inevitably people get curious -- especially in a small town like this -- people instantly try to classify you -- where does he/she work, what group does he/she belong to, etc...

There really aren't any cool geeks around here either... I'd say the EMO girls are probably the hottest here but where they hang out is very gay -- gay music, overly trendy clothes, overpriced salads.... They try to be artistic -- but most of them just suck at photography.

I don't relate to people outside this biz...not after being in it for so long...their hours are different...their interests don't include me....my life is pretty much online....I have friends from all over the world...not exactly close enough to meet for coffee...I'm starting to socialise with webmasters who live within driving distance and I am finding that to be a good thing....

Raven

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Mr Pheer

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#9

11-03-2003, 09:45 AM

I keep my online life seperate from personal with no problems. I havent met a single other webmaster since I moved to Las Vegas, and just because I live here now, still doesnt mean that you will see me at the convention.
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#10

11-03-2003, 09:53 AM

"I am, who I am"

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#11

11-03-2003, 10:08 AM

I have a separate life only b/c I am still new in the biz but I also have another job which I do besides this so my friends outside of the biz out number the one's in the biz...I try not to have my biz friends around when my other friends are around....the things that I do when I'm not at work I like to keep separate for my own good...

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#12

11-03-2003, 10:11 AM

I have met some really cool people in this biz and would probably hang with them more often if it weren't for the long hours we all work or the long distances between us.

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#13

11-03-2003, 10:12 AM

most people i hang out with know what i do and there cool with it

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#14

11-03-2003, 10:14 AM

if people dont like me for what i do, fuck em, im not out to impress anyone

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theharvman

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#15

11-03-2003, 10:21 AM

Separating your personal and business life it is a nice concept but the bottom line is: ?You are what you do.? If you look hard enough you can find common ground with just about anyone. It just depends on how hard you want to look.

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#16

11-03-2003, 10:23 AM

i like to keep myself seperate, i plan on doing mainstream and xxx at a certain time, and i keeping my porn biz seperate from mainstream would be a very good idea.
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#17

11-03-2003, 10:35 AM

NOPE...

I try to get all the guys I know to join from my sites... and I try to get all the ladies to model with me... not for me, but WITH me. Heh.
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#18

11-03-2003, 12:27 PM

my friends know where the checks i get come from, but of course i explain it to them in a moron terms.. the scene i belong to is the local party scene till i decide to get a job
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Mr Pheer

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#19

11-03-2003, 12:28 PM

I havent met a single webmaster in real life that didnt steal my ideas or copy what I do. Thats why I just dont hang out with webmasters.
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#20

11-03-2003, 12:31 PM

I live, eat, and breath this business.... if you work for yourself you have to or your will not be profitable. All my friends know what I do and are cool with it.

If someone wants to judge me for what I do and not take the time to get to know who I am then they can fuck off...I don't want to associate with a closed minded person...life is too short

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KRL

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#21

11-03-2003, 12:32 PM

One PC screen for the real business world and one PC screen for this dark fun whorehouse world and never the two shall meet.

Lord almighty, if the corporate people I do business with knew about this they have a royal shit in their pants.

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#22

11-03-2003, 12:35 PM

work?

want to buy this spot for cheap? it is of course for sale. long term deals are always the best bet. brand0n/ at/ a o l dot commies.
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#23

11-03-2003, 01:11 PM

Originally posted by KRL
One PC screen for the real business world and one PC screen for this dark fun whorehouse world and never the two shall meet.

Lord almighty, if the corporate people I do business with knew about this they have a royal shit in their pants.

Same for me, but they are really curious where I get all the money to fund my crazy ventures.

Alea iacta est
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#24

11-03-2003, 01:24 PM

I try to, but most of my friends know. I dont have any male friends to speak of, and my girlfriends are dandy with it.

Interesing last week tho.. I was at a tango place, chatting to a friend commenting that I was blown away by the amount of talent everyone there had, and said

"I mean wow. I'm 19, and all I can do is pornography"

"But your photography is great!"

"Who said anything about photography?!?"

"What did you say then?"

"er."

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#25

11-03-2003, 01:25 PM

my hobby (hunting and exploiting women) has become my job which has become my life

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#26

11-03-2003, 02:39 PM

yes i separate my private life from this biz cause i am in the office most of the time....so, it would be nice if i have the rest of the day for myself and my loved ones...

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TheFLY

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#27

11-03-2003, 03:39 PM

It's not an easy decision -- after all this time it's still an ongoing question... I don't really want to define myself -- but there's definitely benefits to having long-term social space strategies eheh... I'm starting to think having a girlfriend makes the social space question even more complex...
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Peaches

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#28

11-03-2003, 05:54 PM

Most of my friends whom I've known for years know what I do. Some of my family knows. None of my neighbors has ever known and the friends I've made through my son being in school and playing sports don't know.
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inthestars

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#29

11-03-2003, 06:01 PM

Originally posted by TheFLY
Sometimes I think it would just be easier to hang with people in this biz when I'm not working...

When I do tell people what I do for work -- the reaction is unpredictable... Places where I hang out -- inevitably people get curious -- especially in a small town like this -- people instantly try to classify you -- where does he/she work, what group does he/she belong to, etc...

There really aren't any cool geeks around here either... I'd say the EMO girls are probably the hottest here but where they hang out is very gay -- gay music, overly trendy clothes, overpriced salads.... They try to be artistic -- but most of them just suck at photography.

Where do you live exactly? I do keep this business private; I have only told two friends I've known for a long long time. I tell people that I just met that I'm a freelance web marketer/programmer and they are usually satisfied with that. I live in a large huge sized city so my answer is not questioned. I'm sure that if I lived in Podunk, I couldn't get away with that answer at all.

I keep my involvement in this business quiet because I don't know how people will react and I don't know who they will tell, etc. I am involved in other industries so this is a necessity.
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#30

11-03-2003, 06:03 PM

I do keep it separate. I have two other "cleaner" web related businesses and I wouldnt want my customers to know what I am doing on my spare time... For the friends and familly, they know and if they dont like so screw them... its not their business and I just dont talk to them about it.

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inthestars

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#31

11-03-2003, 06:04 PM

Originally posted by Odie
I have a separate life only b/c I am still new in the biz but I also have another job which I do besides this so my friends outside of the biz out number the one's in the biz...I try not to have my biz friends around when my other friends are around....the things that I do when I'm not at work I like to keep separate for my own good...

That's a good idea, because I have heard stories of a few people who got fired from their day jobs because of their involvement in porn.
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#32

11-03-2003, 06:21 PM

I attempt to keep my identity away from this business in my real life. The phone calls, snail-mail, e-mail and Final Notices are obviously screwing this up. Most that I have met in the adult world via the internet could care less who I am as long as they are making money. Even the group who backs the site I edit don't press the issue of knowing who's on the other end. That works for me.
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inthestars

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#33

11-03-2003, 06:41 PM

Originally posted by Peaches
Most of my friends whom I've known for years know what I do. Some of my family knows. None of my neighbors has ever known and the friends I've made through my son being in school and playing sports don't know.

I think the moral of the story is to follow Peaches' and my example.. pick and choose who you tell..
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