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Dawgy

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#1

what makes a person shy?

10-31-2003, 11:52 AM

topic says it all.

what makes a person shy? why are some people outgoing, while others simply cannot talk to anyone they dont already know?

what makes one person be able to walk up to a hot boy/girl and say hi, while another person wont even consider it, even if there's a good chance of a positive response?

ill keep the personal shit out of it, ill just say i had an interesting lunch, and it got me to thinking...

the revolution is coming.
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#2

10-31-2003, 11:54 AM

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#3

10-31-2003, 11:54 AM

its all in how you where raised as a kid

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#4

10-31-2003, 11:54 AM

personal doubt?

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#5

10-31-2003, 11:54 AM

The one thing that prevents most people from ever reaching their full potential.....fear.
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#6

10-31-2003, 11:55 AM

thinking "im so much better than these people"

lol j/k
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#7

10-31-2003, 11:56 AM

I think it depends on if your uncle played trouser weasle games with you as a child.

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Dawgy

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#8

10-31-2003, 11:57 AM

lol ok....

assuming a person wasnt molested and they werent raised by norman bates...

fear of what? rejection? or is it deeper than that....

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#9

10-31-2003, 11:58 AM

pussys and people are self concious.... i used to be shy when i was younger.. then i realized that i really do not give a fuck.. and now i am not shy..
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#10

10-31-2003, 11:59 AM

Originally posted by wargames
its all in how you where raised as a kid

absolutely. But things can change rigorously in a small time
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#11

10-31-2003, 11:59 AM

Originally posted by GeXus
pussys and people are self concious.... i used to be shy when i was younger.. then i realized that i really do not give a fuck.. and now i am not shy..

Same here.

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#12

10-31-2003, 12:00 PM

Originally posted by Dawgy
lol ok....

assuming a person wasnt molested and they werent raised by norman bates...

fear of what? rejection? or is it deeper than that....

Well that first girl you spoke to as a kid. Did she diss you in 2nd grade or did she whip out the paper boyfriend oragami box and rig it in your favor.

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#13

10-31-2003, 12:00 PM

Originally posted by GeXus
pussys and people are self concious.... i used to be shy when i was younger.. then i realized that i really do not give a fuck.. and now i am not shy..

lol. i like to think i dont give a fuck, but i guess i do.

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#14

10-31-2003, 12:01 PM

Originally posted by freeadultcontent
Well that first girl you spoke to as a kid. Did she diss you in 2nd grade or did she whip out the paper boyfriend oragami box and rig it in your favor.

haha

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#15

10-31-2003, 12:02 PM

like Nike says "Just do it" stop being such a pussy!

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#16

10-31-2003, 12:05 PM

Originally posted by detoxed
thinking "im so much better than these people"

lol j/k

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#17

10-31-2003, 12:06 PM

JUST GO OUTSIDE AND START FUCKING....IF YOU USE A COSTUME YOU CAN FORGET ABOUT SHYNESS NOW GO AND VISIT MY WEBSITE
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#18

10-31-2003, 12:14 PM

Originally posted by wargames
its all in how you where raised as a kid

I agree with that 100%. I am shy and was an abused kid, not just the regular spankings and shit either... hard fist to face abuse.

Step Dad......

Oh he is dead now anyway...

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#19

10-31-2003, 12:15 PM

well i wasnt abused, ive just always been shy.

odd.

btw, isnt newwaveconcepts steve goldman or wutever his name was

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#20

10-31-2003, 12:20 PM

alt.support.social-phobia

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#21

10-31-2003, 12:40 PM

Human insecurities.

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#22

10-31-2003, 12:40 PM

Originally posted by genomega
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haha i think social phobia and shyness when related to meeting new boys/girls is different

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#23

10-31-2003, 12:45 PM

I think part of it is genetic too. My gf is a very outgoing person, her sister who grew up in the same household is a fucking mental case. She doesn't talk to anyone she doesn't know when she goes out, and she refuses to make eye contact with anyone but her mom and my gf when she's speaking. Two girls who grew up in the same home and they're polar opposites of each other.

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#24

10-31-2003, 12:54 PM

I'm shy as hell. It's not that I give a fuck, it's just that I have no clue as to what to say to someone I don't know.

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#25

10-31-2003, 12:56 PM

Originally posted by punkworld
I'm shy as hell. It's not that I give a fuck, it's just that I have no clue as to what to say to someone I don't know.

i think that has a lot to do with it... i mean after "hi" ... what the fuck do u say? "youre fucking hot, wanna go out?" ..lol

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#26

10-31-2003, 12:57 PM

I'm shy.

For a white guy...

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#27

10-31-2003, 12:59 PM

Originally posted by Dawgy

i think that has a lot to do with it... i mean after "hi" ... what the fuck do u say? "youre fucking hot, wanna go out?" ..lol

Exactly. Funny thing is that the people who come to me always seem to have no problem whatsoever starting a conversation without coming across like complete sociopaths.

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#28

10-31-2003, 01:00 PM

I'm pretty Fly.....

for a white guy
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#29

10-31-2003, 01:01 PM

Originally posted by punkworld
Exactly. Funny thing is that the people who come to me always seem to have no problem whatsoever starting a conversation without coming across like complete sociopaths.

so true.

i think the setting changes things too. its much easier to say hi to someone & start a conversation in a bar, a party, etc...

but what if youre just walkin thru the mall and u see someone u want to meet... or at a restaurant... a park...

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#30

10-31-2003, 01:03 PM

Originally posted by Dawgy

so true.

i think the setting changes things too. its much easier to say hi to someone & start a conversation in a bar, a party, etc...

but what if youre just walkin thru the mall and u see someone u want to meet... or at a restaurant... a park...

i wouldnt step to anyone like that. unless they are standing still near me. you can just stop someone thats walking and try to start a convo. they will think your nuts.

but if the person is just standing there is very easy to talk to them

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#31

10-31-2003, 01:04 PM

I'm pretty shy... not sure why, just my personality.
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#32

10-31-2003, 01:05 PM

Originally posted by InsaneGreen

i wouldnt step to anyone like that. unless they are standing still near me. you can just stop someone thats walking and try to start a convo. they will think your nuts.

but if the person is just standing there is very easy to talk to them

What do you say?

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#33

10-31-2003, 01:06 PM

being shy depends on a few things

1) self worth
2) self confidence
3) caring too much about what others think of you
4) self esteem

its all in the attitude of the mind - too much of it and your an asshole and arrogant - too little and your a geek or dweeb that cant get laid with a VISAGold card.

women walk all over shy guys and even though they say they hate guys who treat them like shit - they always seem to gravitate to the guys who have a strong opinion of themselves and do treat them like shit.

Social interaction is great - but if your shy - you are not going to survive on GFY - its like every last bitchy girlfriend you ever had hitting you all at once - and after everyone hits you - you get emails saying - "hey its gfy, no one really means what they say there anyways" - but it will still hurt if you dont have your shit together.

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#34

10-31-2003, 01:15 PM

Originally posted by wargames
its all in how you where raised as a kid

I would agree with this mostly
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#35

10-31-2003, 01:16 PM

Originally posted by TheLegacy
Social interaction is great - but if your shy - you are not going to survive on GFY - its like every last bitchy girlfriend you ever had hitting you all at once - and after everyone hits you - you get emails saying - "hey its gfy, no one really means what they say there anyways" - but it will still hurt if you dont have your shit together.

Shy irl is not the same as shy on gfy.

Also, at least for me, people trying to insult me, picking fights, etc. isn't half as bad as someone looking at me with a "wtf?!" face while trying to remain polite.

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#36

10-31-2003, 01:29 PM

When I got to college, it was my 12th school in 12 years. Moving so much made me pretty shy as a kid because the characteristics that would make me the coolest girl in the world in one place would be a huge problem at the next. So I never knew how people were going to react and often wished I just didn't have to interact.

When I hit puberty, I forced myself to stop being shy because it became kinda necessary then, ya know.

Since being online a lot and living in Los Angeles, I have become more shy again. I think it is because the internet satisfies some of my desire for human contact without awkward pauses. I think it is because a horrible adult faux pas in Los Angeles can follow a person forever in a way that a kid's social oops somewhere else does not.

I find that most of the time when I have a bout of shyness about meeting someone in person, it is because either (a) how the interaction goes is particularly important and particularly unpredictable or (b) it is an interaction that I should avoid. Given that it tends to be one or the other, it is hard to decide which ones to force myself to do.

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#37

10-31-2003, 01:33 PM

Originally posted by TheLegacy
being shy depends on a few things

1) self worth
2) self confidence
3) caring too much about what others think of you
4) self esteem

lol im fucked

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#38

10-31-2003, 01:38 PM

Originally posted by TheLegacy
being shy depends on a few things

1) self worth
2) self confidence
3) caring too much about what others think of you
4) self esteem

its all in the attitude of the mind - too much of it and your an asshole and arrogant - too little and your a geek or dweeb that cant get laid with a VISAGold card.

women walk all over shy guys and even though they say they hate guys who treat them like shit - they always seem to gravitate to the guys who have a strong opinion of themselves and do treat them like shit.

Social interaction is great - but if your shy - you are not going to survive on GFY - its like every last bitchy girlfriend you ever had hitting you all at once - and after everyone hits you - you get emails saying - "hey its gfy, no one really means what they say there anyways" - but it will still hurt if you dont have your shit together.

well said! especially the part where women LOVE to be treated like shit and tell them what to do. they do love it no matter how much it is denied!!
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#39

10-31-2003, 01:40 PM

Originally posted by TheLegacy
being shy depends on a few things

1) self worth
2) self confidence
3) caring too much about what others think of you
4) self esteem

That's very well said. I used to be shy, low on 1, 2, 4 and high on 3. Now I know I am nobody, and who gives a fuck, so although I am still low on 1, 2, 4, I am also low on 3 now, so I am no longer shy.

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#40

10-31-2003, 01:46 PM

I'm not shy, I just dont want to talk to you.

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#41

10-31-2003, 01:49 PM

Oh and living in Los Angeles, I don't *have* to leave the house. I've got a cold and I just got three quarts of gourmet chicken soup delivered to me. I love LA.

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#42

10-31-2003, 02:46 PM

What do you mean by "shy"? Are you talking about just being uncomfortable talking to people you don't know? Not being able to approach women you want to fuck? Not being able to attend parties and large functions? Not wanting to go to the grocery store because you might have to make eye contact with the cashier?

I'm pretty shy now, but I wasn't as a kid or in my early adulthood. It just sort of developed over time. Being isolated from other people in this biz doesn't help either.

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#43

11-01-2003, 10:10 AM

Being treated like crap, ridiculed, laughed at, bullied, etc. for years will do that to someome even without a genetic predisposition.
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#44

11-01-2003, 10:12 AM

Fat ass whores are mostly shy.. especially to show their body
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#45

11-01-2003, 10:23 AM

you are born with it but you can overcome it

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#46

11-01-2003, 10:35 AM

Many times it's genetic, other times it's other things.
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#47

11-01-2003, 11:16 AM

shyness is a "learned behavior" and it can be unlearned.

if this really bothers anyone best thing is to see a professional who is trained in this.

if not then just be around people as much as possible, and maybe you'll just grow out of it, but not likely without a very concious effort on your part.

best thing is to be around other people as much as possible.

work at home is not the best for this problem.

other people?

who gives a fuck,

they Fart too you know!

wtf?
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#48

11-01-2003, 11:49 AM

wow some good replies this morning.

people on gfy actually making sense.

what the fuck?

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#49

11-01-2003, 12:18 PM

I was somewhat shy as a child, but in my teens I got more sure of my self. Martial arts, sports, clubs, ect will help alot with it. Now I am far from shy, and so is my husband. I think my parents kept me a bit repressed because they were real laid back and quiet.

I will share this, I got a bit irritated last night with my daughter while she was trick or treating,,, she is five. She would let other kids butt in front of her in the line for candy, and it got worse each time, the kids were so pushy and rude. I teach her manners and things like that, but i pulled her aside and talked to her about it, finally she held her ground. Damn you should see the candy she got

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#50

11-01-2003, 12:22 PM

Originally posted by Dawgy
wow some good replies this morning.

people on gfy actually making sense.

what the fuck?

You would get way more replies if some people here wouldnt be so shy

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