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The Stupid Paratrooper
About ten recruits are making their first parachute jump. This 6 foot, 280 pound Master Sergeant, standing by the open door says: "Okay ladies, hustle up to this door, jump out in turn, and count slowly to ten. When you get to ten, your 'chute will automatically open.
"Now in the event, and this is highly unlikely, your 'chute doesn't open, pull the cord on your bellys. That's your emergency 'chute. The emergency 'chute will open immediately. Any questions?"
These guys are too scared to even talk. The Master Sergeant grabs the first guy in line and, while pulling him to the door, yells; "When you get to the drop zone, there'll be trucks waiting to take you back to the base. MOVE OUT."
As scared as they are, they all make it out the door, until they get to the last one. This guy is a really sad looking, 98-pound pessimistic creature. Very reluctantly, he shuffles up to the door and, just before he gets booted out, falls out and starts counting: one... two. He finally gets to ten.
Nothing.
He waits about five seconds and counts to ten once again.
Still nothing.
He starts frantically fumbling around, and finally finds the handle. He jerks on the handle and the cord comes off in his hand.
Raising his head to the heavens, he screams: "I bet them trucks ain't waiting either!!"
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