Any Grammar Nazis online?!!

Why didn't you just post it in this thread? I would have gladly picked it apart for you.

Outline:

Topic:
Animal Farm.
Theme:
Napoleon uses different techniques to control the animals on the farm.
Topic Sentence:
Napoleon, the main character in Animal Farm finds multiple ways to obtain and maintain power over all the animals.
Supporting Points:
? Napoleon obtains power primarily by elimination
? Napoleon uses education and learning to help him obtain and maintain power.
? Napoleon used violence to gain power over the animals

Conclusion:

To obtain and maintain power, Napoleon uses quite a bit of manipulation in order to convince the animals to be loyal to him. He also uses persuasion and propaganda. He brainwashes animals, and uses violence to help him obtain and maintain power. Orwell is trying to convey a warning about propaganda, not to be easily influenced and a warning about absolute power through the ways in which Napoleon obtained and maintained his supremacy. Through these processes one can learn a series of lessons that are metaphorically conveyed in the story named Animal Farm.

Napoleon, the main character in Animal Farm finds multiple ways to obtain and maintain power over all the animals. He manages to achieve supreme power by simply eliminating all those who oppose him and bring those who he needs support from in high ranks. He also uses his education and knowledge to obtain and maintain power, as well as his ability to defeat the resistant feelings in other animals. In addition, he uses persuasion and propaganda, brainwashing techniques and violence to help him obtain and maintain supremacy. Orwell portrays different techniques Napoleon used to control the animals and their impacts on the society.
Napoleon obtains power primarily by elimination. He believes that if he removes all those standing in his way to ultimate domination, then he can govern the animals by his own rules. His first step of elimination is to divide the animals into two classes. Napoleon, along with the other pigs, became part of a privileged class, while the rest of the animals were visibly inferior. This division of the animals is first seen when ?the order went forth that all the windfalls were to be collected and brought to the harness-room for the use of the pigs?. When the other animals question this decision, Napoleon?s propagandist, Squealer, assured the animals that ?it is for your sake that we drink that milk and eat those apples?if we pigs failed in our duty?Jones would come back?. This answer satisfies the animals, since their blind goal is to get rid of Jones, their oppressor. Pigs are, in their opinion, their only escape. An important way in which Napoleon obtains and maintains power is by finding and exploiting the weaknesses of the others. Like Napoleon, all of the other pigs are greedy, and soon begin stealing food from all the other animals. Napoleon knows that he can use their greed, to reinforce a group of companions who will support his decisions. He sets aside material things to entice their support, such as all the milk, apples, and barley, for which to make beer. This newfound generosity appeals to the pigs and they associate the upper-class society in which they live with Napoleon. This leads them to believe that if they support Napoleon?s thoughts, their lives will automatically improve. This is what Napoleon was aiming for, and the support of the pigs helps him to obtain and maintain power.

Napoleon uses education and learning to help him obtain and maintain power. Napoleon seems to use the Proverb ?A wise man is strong; yea, a man of knowledge has increased strength? as one of his truisms. Napoleon increases his superiority by educating only the elite animals, such as the pigs and some dogs; that being accomplished, he increases the likelihood of the superiority of the pigs, and gives the impression to the rest of the animals that the pigs are educated, therefore everything they say and do is right. The animals are then fearful and extremely less likely to challenge the ideas and philosophies of the pigs; the class boundaries widen, hence allowing Napoleon to obtain and maintain more power. Napoleon also obtains and maintains power by conquering resistant feelings in the other animals, and controlling the animals by their dread of repercussions. Napoleon tries to make himself too magnificent for anyone to defy him or try to overcome him. His ?nine huge dogs frisking round him and uttering growls that sent shivers down all the animals? spines? makes it possible for him to monitor all those who might revolt against him, and make sure that they do not. The animals knew that if they defied Napoleon, the price they would pay would be their lives. Napoleon takes advantage of this, and ultimately achieves a dictatorship, similar to that which the animals overthrew. However, the problem of the animals? naivety is not helped by Boxer constantly saying: ?Napoleon is always right?. Napoleon uses Boxer, who is well trusted by all the other animals, to help convince everyone that Napoleon is indeed always right. He brainwashes the sheep to repeat their saying over and over again, at inopportune times, to distract the other animals from their thoughts, which may be against Napoleon. By manipulating a small population of the animals, to say and do certain things, at particular times, he is able to convince the other animals that he is superior, ultimately obtaining and maintaining power. Napoleon obtains and maintains power by manipulating his fellow animals through persuasion and propaganda. Squealer is Napoleons propaganda agent. He is able to make incredible persuasive speeches, and to twist words and actions of Napoleon around, to make them appear much more charitable then they really are.

Napoleon continues to obtain power by violence against other animals; next he starts to seize power from his rivals. He is already of a select class; the next thing he does is eliminate all those in his class that could displace him. Snowball was his rival for the place of supreme command; therefore he needed to get rid of him. He does this by using dogs that ?dashed straight for Snowball?In a moment he was out the door?and was seen no more?. This overthrow was a premeditated thought, as he had previously taken a few dogs away from their mothers, ?kept them in a loft?and the rest of the farm soon forgot their existence.? Napoleon had previously calculated how to obtain ultimate power, and eliminates all of the thoughts or animals opposed to his regime. Snowball was Napoleon?s rival to dictator, prior to his exile, and Napoleon brainwashes all of the animals into believing Snowball was the enemy. By brainwashing the animals to believe that Snowball was evil, it makes Napoleon look even better, consequently helping him obtain and maintain power.

To obtain and maintain power, Napoleon uses quite a bit of manipulation in order to convince the animals to be loyal to him. He also uses persuasion and propaganda. He brainwashes animals, and uses violence to help him obtain and maintain power. Orwell is trying to convey a warning about propaganda, not to be easily influenced and a warning about absolute power through the ways in which Napoleon obtained and maintained his supremacy. Through these processes one can learn a series of lessons that are metaphorically conveyed in the story named Animal Farm.

WTF? Did you forget which name you were under, or is this "Grammar Night at the Apollo"?

well u asked for it

Yeah, but this started out with spamofon.

Sorry, got a phone call. Fuck. Is this due tomorrow? Your spelling is all correct, but some of the grammar isn't. I started fooling with it, but I'm ending up rewriting the whole damn thing. If you don't have to have it now I'd rather do it tomorrow. Plus, it still needs to sound like you wrote it. I'm not changing your conclusions, whether I agree or not.

This part:

Outline:

Topic: Animal Farm.
Theme: Napoleon uses different techniques to control the animals on the farm.
Topic Sentence: Napoleon, the main character in Animal Farm, finds multiple ways to obtain and maintain power over all the animals.
Supporting Points:
? Napoleon obtains power primarily by elimination.
? Napoleon uses education and learning to help him obtain and maintain power.
? Napoleon uses violence to gain power over the animals.


Conclusion:

To obtain and maintain power, Napoleon uses manipulation to win the loyalty of the other farm animals. Through persuasion and propaganda, he brainwashes them and uses violence in his quest to achieve and hold on to his power. The author attempts to convey a warning about propaganda and absolute power, sending a message to the reader that he or she should not be easily influenced or fall victim to methods similar to those used by Napoleon to obtain and maintain his supremacy. Through Orwell?s writing, the reader learns a series of lessons that are metaphorically conveyed in the story named Animal Farm.


I'm also not sure about that "the story named" deal. You need to underline all your book titles, too.

ah damn lol
forgot to change my nickname

ah thanks man! umm i can skip the class tomorrow if u can hceck it again later!

That's a bitch, ain't it??

im confused

who are you spamafon?

?

Well, don't get an F for not going. But if you don't have to hand it in tomorrow, I'll redo it then. I'm going to bed. And if this is your high school term paper, just don't tell me. Let's please just pretend this is something college related.

actually i have to go to clas in 2 hours
and yeah is is kinda high school shit lol
i have 3 weeks to go....

Holly do you take paypal?

He manages to achieve supreme power by simply eliminating all those who oppose him and bring those who he needs support from in high ranks.

I would say "bringing in those whom he needs from the higher ranks."
************************

Napoleon seems to use the Proverb ?A wise man is strong . . .

why the upper case with Proverb? Is it from the Bible, Book of Proverbs?
****************************

This last paragraph:


To obtain and maintain power, Napoleon uses quite a bit of manipulation in order to convince the animals to be loyal to him. He also uses persuasion and propaganda. He brainwashes animals, and uses violence to help him obtain and maintain power. Orwell is trying to convey a warning about propaganda, not to be easily influenced and a warning about absolute power through the ways in which Napoleon obtained and maintained his supremacy. Through these processes one can learn a series of lessons that are metaphorically conveyed in the story named Animal Farm.

Didn't you already say that, word for word? Oh yeah, that was the conclusion you had up top . . . . do they have to be the exact same words? I thought they should be different, but have the same meaning . . . but it has been a long time since I did one of these.

Speaking of which, isn't this something you read in 8th or 9th grade?

busted

damn i must have been sleepy!

Holly If u can plz ICQ me sometime tomorrow on 40386235

AIM: spamofon

MSN: [email protected] (same email)

thx!

bump

Ok i edited it a little bit
thats how it looks like:

Napoleon, the main character in Animal Farm finds multiple ways to gain power over all the animals. He manages to achieve supreme power by simply eliminating all those who oppose him and bringing in those whom he needs from the higher ranks. He also uses his education and knowledge to obtain and maintain power, as well as his ability to defeat the resistant feelings in other animals. In addition, he uses persuasion and propaganda, brainwashing techniques and violence to help him obtain and maintain supremacy. Orwell portrays different techniques Napoleon used to control the animals and their impacts on the society.
Napoleon obtains power primarily by elimination. He believes that if he removes all those standing in his way to ultimate domination, then he can govern the animals by his own rules. His first step of elimination is to divide the animals into two classes. Napoleon, along with the other pigs, became part of a privileged class, while the rest of the animals were visibly inferior. This division of the animals is first seen when ?the order went forth that all the windfalls were to be collected and brought to the harness-room for the use of the pigs? (Orwell 12). When the other animals question this decision, Napoleon?s propagandist, Squealer, assured the animals that ?it is for your sake that we drink that milk and eat those apples?if we pigs failed in our duty?Jones would come back? (Orwell 12). This answer satisfies the animals, since their blind goal is to get rid of Jones, their oppressor. Pigs are, in their opinion, their only escape. An important way in which Napoleon obtains and maintains power is by finding and exploiting the weaknesses of the others. Like Napoleon, all of the other pigs are greedy, and soon begin stealing food from all the other animals. Napoleon knows that he can use their greed, to reinforce a group of companions who will support his decisions. He sets aside material things to entice their support, such as all the milk, apples, and barley, for which to make beer. This newfound generosity appeals to the pigs and they associate the upper-class society in which they live with Napoleon. This leads them to believe that if they support Napoleon?s thoughts, their lives will automatically improve. This is what Napoleon was aiming for, and the support of the pigs helps him to obtain and maintain power.

Napoleon uses education and learning to help him obtain and maintain power. Napoleon increases his superiority by educating only the elite animals, such as the pigs and some dogs; that being accomplished, he increases the likelihood of the superiority of the pigs, and gives the impression to the rest of the animals that the pigs are educated, therefore everything they say and do is right. The animals are then fearful and extremely less likely to challenge the ideas and philosophies of the pigs; the class boundaries widen, hence allowing Napoleon to obtain and maintain more power. Napoleon also obtains and maintains power by conquering resistant feelings in the other animals, and controlling the animals by their dread of repercussions. Napoleon tries to make himself too magnificent for anyone to defy him or try to overcome him. His ?nine huge dogs frisking round him and uttering growls that sent shivers down all the animals? spines? (Orwell 27) makes it possible for him to monitor all those who might revolt against him, and make sure that they do not. The animals knew that if they defied Napoleon, the price they would pay would be their lives. Napoleon takes advantage of this, and ultimately achieves a dictatorship, similar to that which the animals overthrew. However, the problem of the animals? naivety is not helped by Boxer constantly saying: ?Napoleon is always right? (Orwell 60). Napoleon uses Boxer, who is well trusted by all the other animals, to help convince everyone that Napoleon is indeed always right. He brainwashes the sheep to repeat their saying over and over again, at inopportune times, to distract the other animals from their thoughts, which may be against Napoleon. By manipulating a small population of the animals, to say and do certain things, at particular times, he is able to convince the other animals that he is superior, ultimately obtaining and maintaining power. Napoleon obtains and maintains power by manipulating his fellow animals through persuasion and propaganda. Squealer is Napoleons propaganda agent. Squealer plays a major role in the dictatorship of Napoleon. His role as the propagandist for the pigs Ingram 5 bestows on him the task of persuading the animals? opinions of Napoleon and justifying the leader?s commands by rationalizing them to the less intelligent animals (Smyer 124). He is able to make incredible persuasive speeches, and to twist words and actions of Napoleon around, to make them appear much more charitable then they really are.

Napoleon continues to obtain power by violence against other animals; next he starts to seize power from his rivals. He is already of a select class; the next thing he does is eliminate all those in his class that could displace him. Snowball was his rival for the place of supreme command; therefore he needed to get rid of him. He does this by using dogs that ?dashed straight for Snowball?In a moment he was out the door?and was seen no more? (Orwell 17). This overthrow was a premeditated thought, as he had previously taken a few dogs away from their mothers, ?kept them in a loft?and the rest of the farm soon forgot their existence. (Orwell 12)? Napoleon had previously calculated how to obtain ultimate power, and eliminates all of the thoughts or animals opposed to his regime. Snowball was Napoleon?s rival to dictator, prior to his exile, and Napoleon brainwashes all of the animals into believing Snowball was the enemy. By brainwashing the animals to believe that Snowball was evil, it makes Napoleon look even better, consequently helping him obtain and maintain power.

To obtain and maintain power, Napoleon uses manipulation to win the loyalty of the other farm animals. Through persuasion and propaganda, he brainwashes them and uses violence in his quest to achieve and hold on to his power. Communism is not as corrosive to Napoleon as much as the ambitious accumulation of power (Hammond 162). The author attempts to convey a warning about propaganda and absolute power, sending a message to the reader that he or she should not be easily influenced or fall victim to methods similar to those used by Napoleon to obtain and maintain his supremacy. Through Orwell's writing, the reader learns a series of lessons that are metaphorically conveyed in the story named Animal Farm. By using simple farm animals to draw a comparison to real life historical figures George Orwell successfully shows through criticism the human nature as well as corrupt government.

Sorry, I just now saw this. I added you and ICQ'd you twice an hour or two ago, but you didn't reply. You were online when I sent it, then a few minutes later, you disappeared.

Napoleon, along with the other pigs, became part of a privileged class,

u have a tendency to repeat Napoleon's name way toooooo much..

instead ....Along with the other pigs, he became part of a privileged class,

Like Napoleon, all of the other pigs are greedy, and soon begin stealing food from all the other animals..

instead, Similarly, all of the other pigs are greedy, and soon ....

there is no need for that much repetition in using Napoleon's name...

Didnt think I would be taking a lit class when I signed up for gfy