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A guy was standing in front of the gorilla cage at the zoo one day, when a gust of wind swept some dust into his eye. As he rubbed his eyelid, the gorilla went crazy, bent open the bars, and beat the guy senseless. When the guy came to his senses, he reported the incident to the zookeeper. Nodding, the zookeeper explained that pulling down your eyelid means "screw you" in gorilla language. The explanation didn't make the victim feel any better - and he vowed revenge.
The next day, he purchased two large knives, two party hats, two party horns, and a large sausage. Putting the sausage in his pants, he hurried to the zoo and went right up to the gorilla's cage where he opened up his bag of goodies. Knowing that gorillas were natural mimics, he put on a party hat. The gorilla looked at him, reached through the bars, grabbed a hat from the bag, and put it on.
Next, the guy picked up his horn and blew on it. The gorilla reached out, picked up his horn, and did the same. Then the man picked up his knife, whipped the sausage out of his pants, and sliced it in half. The gorilla looked at the knife, looked at his own crotch, looked at the man, and pulled down his eyelid.

Yo mama's so big, her belly button's got an echo.

Kansas Crazy Law
If two trains meet on the same track, neither shall proceed until the other has passed.


The state game rule prohibits the use of mules to hunt ducks.

Rabbits may not be shot from motorboats.


No one may catch fish with his bare hands.


Pedestrians crossing the highways at night must wear tail lights.


Dodge City
It is illegal to spit on a sidewalk.


All places of business must provide a horse water troft


Lawrence
No one may wear a bee in their hat.


All cars entering the city limits must first sound their horn to warn the horses of their arrival.


Russell
Musical car horns are banned


Salina
It is against the law to leave your car running unattended.


Topeka
The installation of bathtubs is prohibited.


Wichita
Any person caught using or carrying bean snappers or the like shall upon conviction, be fined. -City ordinance 349 of Wichita, Kansas.


Before proceeding through the interesection of Douglas and Broadway, a motorist is required to get out of their vehice and fire three shot gun rounds into the air.

one hardly used.

Yo mama's so big, she can't wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back.

Kentucky Crazy Law

No person shall sell, exchange, offer to sell or exchange, display or possess living baby chicks, ducklings, or other fowl or rabbits which have been dyed or colored; nor dye or color any baby chicks, ducklings or other fowl or rabbits; nor sell, exchange, offer to sell or exchange or to give away baby chicks, ducklings or other fowl or rabbits, under two months of age in any quantity less than six, except that any rabbit weighing three pounds or more may be sold at an age of six weeks. Any person who violates this section shall be fined not less than $100 nor more than $500. -KRS 436.600 (Passed 1966 Ky. Acts ch. 215, sec. 5.)

It's illegal to fish in the Ohio River in Kentucky without an Indiana Fishing License.


Any person who displays, handles or uses any kind of reptile in connection withany religious service or gathering shall be fined not less than fifty dollars ($50) nor more than one hundred dollars ($100). -KRS 437.060 (Passed 1942, from Ky. Stat. sec. 1267a-1.).


All bees entering Kentucky shall be accompanied by certificates of health, stating that the apiary from which the bees came was free from contagious or infectious disease. -KRS 252.130 (Passed in 1922; Repealed in 1948)


No person owning or controlling a billiard or pool table shall permit, for compensation or reward, any minor under eighteen (18) years of age to play any game on the table, unless such minor shall have first displayed an identification card containing his name, age, photograph, and the signature of his parents or guardian. The minor shall keep such identification card on his person, and it shall be subject to inspection at any time by any peace officer. The person owning or controlling such billiard or pool table shall keep and maintain a registration book in which each minor shall sign. The person owning or controlling such billiard or pool table shall supply a blank identification card to each parent or guardian who makes request for same. Any person who violates this section shall be fined not less than ten ($10) nor more than one hundred dollars ($100) for each offense. -KRS 436.320 (Passed 1893; Amended in 1954, Ky. Acts ch. 232, sec. 1)


It is illegal to fish with a bow and arrow in Kentucky.


Any person who appears on any highway, or upon the street of any city that has no police protection, when clothed only in ordinary bathing garb, shall be fined no less than five dollars nor more than twenty-five dollars." - KRS 436.140 (Passed in 1922; Repealed in 1974)


Lexington
By law, anyone who has been drinking is "sober" until he or she "cannot hold onto the ground."


It is illegal to transport an ice cream cone in your pocket.


Owensboro
A woman may not buy a hat without her husband's permission

How do you tell an old man?

It isn't hard.

Louisiana Crazy Law
It is illegal to gargle in public places.


It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol.

Biting someone with your natural teeth is "simple assault," while biting someone with your false teeth is "aggravated assault."


New Orleans
It illegal for a woman to drive a car unless her husband is waving a flag in front of it.


You may not tie an alligator to a fire hydrant.

E-mail this joke to your friends!

Do you like Clams?

Maine Crazy Law
Shotguns are required to be taken to church in the event of a Native American attack.


You may not step out of a plane in flight.

After January 14th you will be charged a fine for having your Christmas decorations still up.


Augusta
To stroll down the street playing a violin is against the law.


Portland
Shoelaces must be tied while walking down the street.

An old lady owned two monkeys. One day they both died

Maryland Crazy Law
Thistles may not grow in one's yard.
Baltimore
No person who is a "tramp" or "vagrant" shall loiter in any park at any time. They define tramp as a person who roves for begging purposes and a vagrant as an idle person who is able-bodied living without labor. It's a $50 fine. I guess the tramp would have to beg for the money to pay the fine. -Park Rule 6

It's illegal to take a lion to the movies.


It's illegal to throw bales of hay from a second-story window within the city limits.


It is a violation of city code to sell chicks or ducklings to a minor within 1 week of the Easter holiday.


It is a park rule violation to be in a public park with a sleeveless shirt. $10 fine. This would include joggers that go shirtless. (1898)


Baltimore City
You may not curse inside the city limits.


Though you may spit on a city roadway, spitting on city sidewalks is prohibited.


Columbia
Though clotheslines are banned, clothes may be draped over a fence.


You can not have a antenna exposed outside of your house yet you can have a 25' satellite dish.


Ocean City
Eating while swimming in the ocean is prohibited.


A law from the early 1900's prohibits men from going topless on the Boardwalk. (Repealed)

Can you walk the walk and talk the talk?

Massachusetts Crazy Law
Children may smoke, but they may not purchase cigarettes.


Taxi drivers are prohibited from making love in the front seat of their taxi during their shifts.

Affiliation with the Communist party is illegal.


No gorilla is allowed in the back seat of any car.


Bullets may not be used as currency.


Alcoholic drink specials are illegal.


Massachusetts liquor stores can only open on Sundays if they are in Berkshire, Essex, Franklin, Middlesex or Worcester counties and are within 10 miles of the Vermont or New Hampshire borders.


It's illegal to drive Texan, Mexican, Cherokee, or Indian cattle on a public road. (MGL Chapter 129 Section 35)


Tomatoes may not be used in the production of clam chowder.


Hunting on Sundays is prohibited.


It is illegal to go to bed without first having a full bath.


At a wake, mourners may eat no more than three sandwiches.


Public boxing matches are outlawed.


It is unlawful to injure a football goal post, doing so is punishable by a $200 fine.


It's illegal to keep a mule on the second floor of a building not in a city unless there are 2 exits. (MGL Chapter 272 section 86)


It's illegal to sell fewer than 24 ducklings at a time before May 1, or to sell rabbits, chicks, or ducklings that have been painted a different color. (MGL Chapter 272 Section 80D)


It's illegal to allow someone to use stilts while working on the construction of a building. (MGL Chapter 149 Section 129B)


Defacing a milk carton is punishable by a $10 fine.


It is illegal to frighten a pigeon.


An old ordinance declares goatees illegal unless you first pay a special license fee for the privilege of wearing one in public.


All men must carry a rifle to church on Sunday. (Repealed)


Tattooing and body piercing is illegal. (Repealed October 2000)


Quakers and witches are banned.


Snoring is prohibited unless all bedroom windows are closed and securely locked.


It is illegal to reproach Jesus Christ or the holy ghost. (MGL Chapter 272 section 36)


Boston
No one may take a bath without a prescription.


It is illegal for any citizen to own more than three dogs.


An old law prohibits the taking of baths on Sunday.


Duels to the death permitted on the common on Sundays provided that the Governor is present.


Women may not wear heels over 3 inches in length while on the common.


Anyone may let their sheep and cows graze in the public gardens/commons at any time except Sundays.


No more than two baths may be taken within the confines of the city.


No one may cross the Boston Common without carrying a shotgun in case of bears.


It is illegal to play the fiddle.


Two people may not kiss in front of a church.


It is illegal to eat peanuts in church.


Burlington
You may not walk around with a "drink".


Cambridge
It is illegal to shake carpets in the street, or to throw orange peels on the sidewalk (section 12.16.100).


It costs $50 extra for a permit for hurling, soccer or Gaelic football games in a public park on a Sunday. (section 12.20.030)


Hingham
You may not have colored lights on your house if it can be seen from Main Street. Only white lights may be visible.


If you live on Main Street and want to paint your house, the colors must be approved by the historical society.


Hopkinton
Though horses and cows are allowed on the common, dogs are prohibited.


Longmeadow
It is illegal for two men to carry a bathtub across the town green.


Marlboro
One may not detonate a nuclear device in the city.


Silly string is illegal in the city limits.


It is illegal for any citizen to own more than two dogs.


It is illegal to buy, sell or possess a squirt gun.


Milford
Peeping in the windows of automobiles is forbidden.


Newton
All families must be given a hog from the town's mayor.


North Andover
An ordinance prohibits the use of space guns.


Woburn
In bars, it is actually illegal to "walk around" with a beer in your hand. (Repealed)