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'Was your wife a virgin when you married?'

The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall. The owner asks the clerk, "What's with that guy over there by the wall?"
The clerk says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative."
The owner says, "You idiot! You can't treat a cough with laxatives!"
The clerk says, "Oh yeah? Look at him, he's afraid to cough!"

'I don't know. Some say yes. Some say no.'

Arkansas Crazy Law
A man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month.


A law provides that school teachers who bob their hair will not get a raise.

Alligators may not be kept in bathtubs.


The Arkansas River can rise no higher than to the Main Street bridge in Little Rock.


Arkansas must be pronounced "Arkansaw"


A voter is only allowed five minutes to mark his ballot.


Fayetteville
Dogs may not bark after 6 PM.


It is illegal to kill "any living creature".


It is unlawful to walk one's cow down Main Street after 1:00 PM on Sunday.


No person shall sound the horn on a vechicle at any place where cold drinks or sandwiches are served after 9:00 P.M. -Little Rock City Code Sec. 18-54


Flirtation between men and women on the streets of Little Rock may result in a 30-day jail term.

California Crazy Law
Sunshine is guaranteed to the masses.


Animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship.

Many animals are illegal to own as pets, including snails, sloths, and elephants.


Bathhouses are against the law.


In an animal shelter, lizards and snakes are treated under the same guidelines as cats and dogs.


No vehicle without a driver may exceed 60 miles per hour.


Women may not drive in a house coat.


It is a misdemeanor to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale.


Arcadia
Peacocks have the right of way to cross any street, including driveways.


Alhambra
You cannot leave your car on the street overnight without the proper permit.


Baldwin Park
Nobody is allowed to ride a bicycle in a swimming pool.


Belvedere
City Council order reads: "No dog shall be in a public place without its master on a leash."


Blythe
You are not permitted to wear cowboy boots unless you already own at least two cows.


Burlingame
It is illegal to spit, except on baseball diamonds.


Carmel
Ice cream may not be eaten while standing on the sidewalk. (Repealed when Clint Eastwood was mayor)


Women may not wear high heels while in the city limits.


Chico
Detonating a nuclear device within the city limits results in a $500 fine.


Downey
It is illegal to wash your car in the street. (Passed 1995).


Hollywood
It is illegal to drive more than two thousand sheep down Hollywood Boulevard at one time.


Lafayette
You are forbidden to spit on the ground within 5 feet of another person.


Lodi
It is illegal to own or sell "Silly String".


Lompoc
It is illegal to posses, own or raise roosters. This is considered disturbing the peace.


Long Beach
It is illegal to curse on a mini-golf course.


Cars are the only item allowed in a garage.


Los Angeles
Toads may not be licked.


You may not hunt moths under a street light.


It is a crime for dogs to mate within 500 yards of a church. Breaking this law is punishable by a fine of $500 and/or six months in prison.


You cannot bathe two babies in the same tub at the same time.


Zoot suits are prohibited.


It is illegal to cry on the witness stand.


It is illegal for a man to beat his wife with a strap wider than 2 inches without her consent.


Ontario
Roosters may not crow in the city limits.


Pacific Grove
Molesting butterflies can result in a $500 fine.


Palm Springs
It is illegal to walk a camel down Palm Canyon Drive between the hours of four and six PM.


Pasadena
It is illegal for a secretary to be alone in a room with her boss.


Prunedale
Two bathtubs may not be installed in the same house.


Redlands
Motor vehicles may not drive on city streets unless a man with a lantern is wallking ahead of it.


Riverside
One may not carry a lunch down the street between 11 and 1 o'clock.


San Diego
The owners of houses with Christmas lights on them past February second may be fined up to $250.


It is illegal to shoot jackrabbits from the back of a streetcar.


San Francisco
Persons classified as "ugly" may not walk down any street.


Prohibits elephants from strolling down Market Street unless they are on a leash.


It is illegal to pile horse manure more than six feet high on a street corner.


It is illegal to wipe one's car with used underwear.


San Jose
It is illegal to have more than two cats or dogs. -Ord. 7.08.595


Santa Monica
You may not play percussion instruments on the beach.


Temecula
Ducks have the right of way to cross Rancho California St. at all times.

A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long it'l take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?"
The agent replies, "Just a minute..."
"Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up.

A face can say many things. Especially the mouth part.

I dont like to say NO!

Colorado Crazy Law
Tags may be ripped off of pillows and mattresses.


It is illegal to ride a horse while under the influence.

No liquor may be sold on Sundays or election days. (Repealed)


It is illegal for liquor stores to sell food or grocery stores to sell any alcohol except beer that is at most 3.2% alcohol.


Car dealers may not show cars on a Sunday.


Colorado Springs
It is permissable to wear a holstered six-gun within city limits, except on Sunday, Election Day, or holidays.
Crippe Creek
It is illegal to bring your horse or pack mule above the ground floor of any building.
Denver
You may not drive a black car on Sundays.


It is unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next-door neighbor.


It is illegal to mistreat rats in Denver, Colorado.


The dog catcher must notify dogs of impounding by posting, for three consecutive days, a notice on a tree in the city park and along a public road running through said park.


Durango
It is illegal to go in public dressed in clothes "unbecoming" on one's sex.
Logan County
It is illegal for a man to kiss a woman while she is asleep.
Pueblo
It is illegal to let a dandelion grow within the city limits.
Sterling
Cats may not run loose without having been fit with a taillight.

What's brown and sticky?

Connecticut Crazy Law
You can be stopped by the police for biking over 65 miles per hour.

In order for a pickle to officially be considered a pickle, it must bounce.

It is illegal to dispose of used razor blades.

You cannot buy any alcohol after 8pm or on Sundays.

The marriage of imbeciles and feeble-minded persons is prohibited. (Repealed)

It is illegal to discharge a firearm from a public highway.

No one may use a white cane, unless they are blind.


Devon
It is unlawful to walk backwards after sunset.
Guilford
Only white Christmas lights are allowed for display.
Hartford
You aren't allowed to cross a street while walking on your hands. You may not educate dogs. It is illegal for a man to kiss his wife on Sunday.
New Britain
It is illegal for fire trucks to exceed 25mph, even when going to a fire.
Southington
Silly string is banned.
Waterbury
It is illegal for any beautician to hum, whistle, or sing while working on a customer.

A stick.

Delaware Crazy Law
It is illegal to fly over any body of water, unless one is carrying sufficient supplies of food and drink.
Lewes
It is illegal to wear pants that are "firm fitting" around the waist.


Getting married on a dare is grounds for an annulment.

Florida Crazy Law
Penalty for horse theft is death by hanging.


It is considered an offense to shower naked.

You are not allowed to break more than three dishes per day, or chip the edges of more than four cups and/or saucers.


It is illegal to block any traveled wagon road.


Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner.


If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.


It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.


You may not fart in a public place after 6 P.M. on Thursdays.


Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.


It is illegal to skateboard without a license.


A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.


Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.


Big Pine Key
It is illegal to molest a Key deer. If caught one will be fined or will have to go to jail.


Cape Coral
It is against the city ordinance to hang your clothes outside on a clothesline.


It it illegal to park a pick-up truck in your driveway or in front of your house on the street. This law is limited to only those who do not own the house. (Repealed 2000)


Daytona Beach
Sec. 10-56. While intoxicated, under influence of narcotics, prohibited. It shall be unlawful for any person to swim or bathe in that portion of the Atlantic Ocean within the corporate limits of the city when under the influence of intoxicating liquor or narcotic drugs to the extent that his or her normal faculties are impaired. (Code 1955, § 28-64)


Sec. 18-2. Weeds, trash, etc., as a public nuisance; removal by property owner or by city at owner's expense; notice and hearing; lien for expenses. (a) The existence of weeds, trash, undergrowth, brush, filth, garbage or other refuse on any lot, tract or parcel of land within the city which has caused the property to become, or which may reasonably cause the property to become infested, or inhabited by rodents, vermin or wild animals, or may furnish a breeding place for mosquitoes or threatens the public health, safety or welfare, or may reasonably cause disease or adversely affects and impairs the economic welfare of the adjacent property, is declared to constitute a public nuisance and is hereby prohibited.


Sec. 22-44. Storage, depositing prohibited. It shall be unlawful for any person, either as owner, occupant, lessee, agent, tenant, or otherwise, to store or deposit, or cause or permit to be stored or deposited, any abandoned, junked or discarded motor vehicle or motor vehicles upon any public or private property within the city. (Code 1955, § 20-11)


The molestation of trash cans is banned.


Hialeah
Ambling and strolling is a misdemeanor.


Sec. 3-1. Bird sanctuary declared. (a) It is hereby declared that all territory embraced within the corporate limits of the municipality shall be a bird sanctuary. (b) It shall be unlawful for any person within the municipality to shoot, trap or in any manner kill, wound or maim any bird of any kind, or at any time to throw at any birds of any kind any missile with slingshots or any other weapon, or to disturb their eggs or their young or their nests. (Ord. No. 8-59, §§ 1, 2, 8-10-59)


Jupiter Inlet Colony Inlet


Key West
Chickens are considered a 'protected species'.


Miami
Sec. 8-3. Bell or other warning device. No person shall operate a bicycle unless it is equipped with a bell or device capable of giving a signal audible for a distance of at least 100 feet, but no bicycle shall be equipped with, nor shall any person use upon a bicycle, any siren or whistle. (Code 1967, § 8-3; Code 1980, § 8-3)


It is illegal for men to be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.


Pensacola
A women can be fined (only after death), for being electrocuted in a bath-tub because of using self-beautification utensils.


It is illegal to roll a barrel on any street, fines go up according to the contents of the barrel.


Citizens may not be caught downtown without at least 10 dollars on their person.


Pinecrest
In order to operate a burglar alarm, a permit must be obtained. Sec. 12-23. Registration required; application; transferability; false statements. (a)All persons must complete and submit to the village an emergency contact registration form for their alarm if they operate or cause to be operated an alarm system in the village. A separate registration is required for each alarm system. Upon receipt of a completed registration form, the police department shall issue a numbered alarm sticker to the applicant to facilitate retrieval of registration information. (Ord. No. 97-17, § 1, 10-14-97)


Sanford
Stage nudity is banned, with the exception of "bona fide" theatrical performances. Violating this ordinance results in a $100 fine.


Sarasota
You may not catch crabs.


If you hit a pedestrian you are fined $78.00.


Tampa Bay
It is illegal to eat cottage cheese on Sunday after 6:00 P.M.

If a rotwieler starts humping your leg you let it finish.