The Last Person to ever post is this Thread wins $250 (paypal)

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  • Smokey The ßear
    So Fucking Banned
    • Mar 2004
    • 1144

    #7591
    There were four 80 year old men playing golf. One complained the hills were to high. The second complained the bunkers were too deep. The third said the holes were too wide. The fourth one said 'Shut up! At least we're still on the right side of the grass!'

    Comment

    • Smokey The ßear
      So Fucking Banned
      • Mar 2004
      • 1144

      #7592
      Broken promises don't upset me. I just think 'Why did they believe me?'

      Comment

      • Nanda
        Confirmed User
        • Jul 2003
        • 5310

        #7593
        Washington Crazy Law
        It is illegal to paint polka dots on the American flag.


        All motor vehicles must be preceded by a man carrying a red flag (daytime) or a red lantern (nighttime) fifty feet in front of said vehicle.

        Looking for more dumb laws? Check out DumbLaws.com!
        People may not buy a mattress on Sunday.


        You cannot buy meat of any kind on Sunday.


        All lollipops are banned.


        You are breaking the law if you sell or place in the stream of commerce a crib that has: corner posts that extend more than 1/16-inch above end panels; slats more than 2 3/8 inches apart; a mattress support that releases easily from corner posts; cutout designs on the end panels; tears in mesh or fabric; missing or loose screws, bolts, or hardware; sharp edges, points, or rough surfaces on wood surfaces that are not smooth and free from splinters, splits or cracks. The new Infant Crib Safety Act in California (AB 3760, Speier), Colorado (SB 98-023,Pascoe and Morrison) and Washington State (SSB 6229, Kohl and Pennington) states that "no commercial user shall manufacture, retrofit, sell, contract to sell or resell, lease, sublet or otherwise place in the stream of commerce, a full-size or non-full-size crib that is unsafe for any infant using the crib.


        It is illegal to pretend that one's parents are rich.


        You are not allowed to breast feed in public.


        When two trains come to a crossing, neither shall go until the other has passed.


        A law to reduce crime states: "It is mandatory for a motorist with criminal intentions to stop at the city limits and telephone the chief of police as he is entering the town."


        Auburn
        Men who deflower virgins, regardless of age or marital status, may face up to five years in jail.


        Bremerton
        You may not shuck peanuts on the street.


        Everett
        It is illegal to display a hypnotized or allegedly hypnotized person in a store window.


        Lynden
        Dancing and drinking may not occur at the same establishment.


        Seattle
        You may not carry a concealed weapon that is over six feet in length.


        Women who sit on men's laps on buses or trains without placing a pillow between them face an automatic six-month jail term.


        No one may set fire to another person's property without prior permission.


        It is illegal to carry a fishbowl or aquarium onto a bus because the sound of the water sloshing may disturb other passengers.


        Spokane
        TV's may not be bought on Sundays.


        Waldron Island



        No structure shall contain more than two toilets that use potable water for flushing. -San Juan County Ordinance NO. 7 -1995 (Passed June 7,1995)


        Wilbur
        You may not ride an ugly horse.
        My Ex-husband SKULL-BUITRE ran off to Colombia with OUR money and screwed me after I helped him build OUR business.
        He is hiding in Colombia and never paid the settlement $ from our divorce!

        Comment

        • Smokey The ßear
          So Fucking Banned
          • Mar 2004
          • 1144

          #7594
          Six stages of married life:1: Tri-weekly2: Try weekly3: Try weakly4. Try oysters5: Try anything6: Try to remember

          Comment

          • stembolt
            Confirmed User
            • May 2004
            • 463

            #7595
            A pirate walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender walks over to him and says "Hey, I couldn't help but notice when you walked in. Is that a steering wheel hung between your legs?"
            "Aye!" replied the pirate, "And it's drivin' me nuts!"
            hahahahahahahahaha
            once upon a time i had something to put here!!!!

            Comment

            • Smokey The ßear
              So Fucking Banned
              • Mar 2004
              • 1144

              #7596
              The graduate with a science degree asks 'Why does it work?' :D

              Comment

              • Nanda
                Confirmed User
                • Jul 2003
                • 5310

                #7597
                West Virginia Crazy Law
                If you wear a hat inside a theater, you may be fined.


                Roadkill may be taken home for supper.

                No children may attend school with their breath smelling of "wild onions."


                Doctors and dentists may not place a woman under anesthesia unless a third person is present.


                It is illegal to snooze on a train.


                According to the state constitution, it is unlawful for anyone to own a red or a black flag.


                When a railroad passes within 1 mile of a community of 100 or more people in it, they must build a station and stop there regularly to pick up and drop off passengers.


                Whistling underwater is prohibited.


                Alderson
                One may not walk a lion, tiger or leopard, even on a leash.


                Nicholas County
                No member of the clergy is allowed to tell jokes or humorous stories from the pulpit during a church service.


                Huntington
                Firemen may not whistle or flirt at any woman passing a firehouse.


                It is legal to beat your wife so long as it is done in public on Sunday, on the courthouse steps.
                My Ex-husband SKULL-BUITRE ran off to Colombia with OUR money and screwed me after I helped him build OUR business.
                He is hiding in Colombia and never paid the settlement $ from our divorce!

                Comment

                • ClamSmacker
                  Confirmed User
                  • May 2004
                  • 677

                  #7598
                  How do you have your coffee?

                  Comment

                  • Smokey The ßear
                    So Fucking Banned
                    • Mar 2004
                    • 1144

                    #7599
                    The graduate with an engenieering degree asks 'How does it do that?'

                    Comment

                    • Nanda
                      Confirmed User
                      • Jul 2003
                      • 5310

                      #7600
                      Wisconsin Crazy Law
                      Dumb Wisconsin Laws
                      At one time, margarine was illegal.


                      As people used to smuggle it in from Illinois, all yellow butter substitute is banned.

                      You must manually flush all urinals in a building.


                      While all cheese making requires a license, Limburger cheese making requires a master cheese maker's license.


                      Whenever two trains meet at an intersection of said tracks, neither shall proceed until the other has.


                      State Law made it illegal to serve apple pie in public restaurants without cheese.


                      Citizens may not murder their enemies.


                      It is illegal to cut a woman's hair.


                      It is illegal to kiss on a train.


                      Butter substitutes are not allowed to be served in state prisons.


                      Car dealerships cannot sell cars on Sunday.


                      Kenosha
                      No male is allowed to be in a state of arousal in public.


                      La Crosse
                      You cannot "worry a squirrel."


                      It is illegal to display an unclothed mannequin in a store window.


                      It is illegal to tie up your horse along Third Street (Now a major bar strip).


                      It is illegal to play checkers in public.


                      Milwaukee
                      If one is thought of as offensive looking, it is illegal for him to be in public during the day.


                      An old ordinance forbids parking for over two hours unless a horse is tied to the car.


                      It is against the law to play a flute and drums on the streets to attract attention.


                      It is illegal to purchase or use Sparklers in the city, yet you can buy fully disassembled automatic machine guns.


                      Racine
                      Women may not walk down a public street at night without being accompanied by a man.


                      It is illegal to wake a fireman when he is asleep.


                      St. Croix
                      Women are not allowed to wear anything red in public.
                      My Ex-husband SKULL-BUITRE ran off to Colombia with OUR money and screwed me after I helped him build OUR business.
                      He is hiding in Colombia and never paid the settlement $ from our divorce!

                      Comment

                      • Smokey The ßear
                        So Fucking Banned
                        • Mar 2004
                        • 1144

                        #7601
                        The graduate with an accounting degree asks 'How much does it cost?'

                        Comment

                        • Nanda
                          Confirmed User
                          • Jul 2003
                          • 5310

                          #7602
                          Wyoming Crazy Law
                          You may not take a picture of a rabbit during the month of June.


                          It is illegal to wear a hat that obstructs people's view in a public theater or place of amusement.

                          It is illegal for women to stand within five feet of a bar while drinking.


                          Cheyenne
                          Citizens may not take showers on Wednesdays.
                          My Ex-husband SKULL-BUITRE ran off to Colombia with OUR money and screwed me after I helped him build OUR business.
                          He is hiding in Colombia and never paid the settlement $ from our divorce!

                          Comment

                          • Smokey The ßear
                            So Fucking Banned
                            • Mar 2004
                            • 1144

                            #7603
                            The graduate with the Arts degree asks 'Do you want fries with that?'

                            Comment

                            • Nanda
                              Confirmed User
                              • Jul 2003
                              • 5310

                              #7604
                              Alaska Crazy Law
                              Alaska's More Important Laws

                              In Fairbanks it is considered an offense to feed alcoholic beverages to a moose.

                              While it is legal to shoot bears, waking a sleeping bear for the purpose of taking a photograph is prohibited.

                              It is considered an offense to push a live moose out of a moving airplane.

                              It is the state policy that emergencies are held to a minimum and are rarely found to exist.-Sec. 44.62.270. State policy.

                              Moose may not be viewed from an airplane.
                              My Ex-husband SKULL-BUITRE ran off to Colombia with OUR money and screwed me after I helped him build OUR business.
                              He is hiding in Colombia and never paid the settlement $ from our divorce!

                              Comment

                              • Nanda
                                Confirmed User
                                • Jul 2003
                                • 5310

                                #7605
                                Arizona Crazy Law
                                You may not have more than two dildos in a house.


                                Any misdemeanor committed while wearing a red mask is considered a felony. This goes back in the days of the Wild West.

                                There is a possible 25 years in prison for cutting down a cactus.


                                When being attacked by a criminal or burglar, you may only protect yourself with the same weapon that the other person posseses.


                                Hunting camels is prohibited.


                                Donkeys cannot sleep in bathtubs.


                                It is unlawful to refuse a person a glass of water.


                                Glendale
                                Cars may not be driven in reverse.


                                Globe
                                Cards may not be played in the street with a Native American.


                                Hayden
                                If you bother the cottontails or bullfrogs, you will be fined.


                                Maricopa County
                                No more than six girls may live in any house.


                                Mesa
                                It is illegal to smoke cigarettes within 15 feet of a public place unless you have a Class 12 liqueur license.


                                Mohave County
                                A decree declares that anyone caught stealing soap must wash himself with it until it is all used up.


                                Nogales
                                An ordinance prohibits the wearing of suspenders.


                                Prescott
                                No one is permitted to ride their horse up the stairs of the county court house.


                                Tucson
                                Women may not wear pants.


                                Tombstone
                                It is illegal for men and women over the age of 18 to have less than one missing tooth visible when smiling.
                                My Ex-husband SKULL-BUITRE ran off to Colombia with OUR money and screwed me after I helped him build OUR business.
                                He is hiding in Colombia and never paid the settlement $ from our divorce!

                                Comment

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