Look, if you had one shot, one opportunity...

let it slip

ok

STFU NEWBIE

Look - if you had - one shot - To sit on your lazy butt
And watch all the TV you ever wanted
Until your brain turned to mush
Would you go for it
Or just let it slip?

Yo - remote is ready
Eyes wide, palms are sweaty
There's Flintstones on the TV already
Wilma 'n' Betty
No virgin to channel surfin'
And I'm HD-ready
So I flip - garbage is all I'm getting
There's Simon Cowell
Who folks wanna disembowel
He opens his mouth
Always says something foul
They're dyin', wow
Wannabes are cryin' now
He votes 'em out
Time to throw in the towel!
Shows based on reality
Oh! The humanity
Oh! Ozzy's family
Sho' loves profanity
Whoa, the insanity
Oh, dogs that crap and pee
Home of depravity?
No, they live happily
Yo, plus Da Ali G Show
And Celebrity Mole
Oh, and there's Anna Nicole
She's scarin' me
"Look ma, no cavities!"
Oh, it's a station break
Better go out to the kitchen and microwave something

"You're gonna lose your mind watchin' TV"
They told me, they'd scold me
But I'd still tune in every show (show)
My cable gets C-SPAN, TV-Land and HBO
The Travel Channel, Discovery and Lifetime (yo)
"You're gonna lose your mind watchin' TV"
They told me, cajoled me
"Turn off those music videos!" (no!)
I'm gonna watch C-SPAN, TV-Land and HBO
The History Channel and QVC and Lifetime (yo)
"You're gonna..."

By butt is aching
As I watch NASCAR racing
That show about undertaking
Larry King
To 24 to Law & Order
The Weather Channel's boring like 60 Minutes' ancient reporters
Next up on E! True Hollywood Story
The rise and decline of 12 actors named Corey
Shows for next fall they've already been namin':
CSI: Boise and Touched By An Uncle both sound pretty lame 'n'
So does Everybody Tolerated Raymond
And King Of Queens jumped the shark the first minute
I can't believe Richard Simmons ain't in it
I'll move right on to 8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter
Then I bet I'll watch The Bachelorette followed by Welcome Back, Kotter
And the Muppet Show where they go "Mahna Mahna"

"You're gonna lose your mind watchin' TV"
They told me, they'd scold me
But I'd still tune in every show (show)
My cable gets C-SPAN, TV-Land and HBO
The Disney Channel and A&E and Lifetime (yo)
"You're gonna lose your mind watchin' TV"
They told me, cajoled me
But I still love Lisa Kudrow (drow)
I'm lookin' at C-SPAN, TV-Land and HBO
The Playboy Channel and Court TV and Lifetime (yo)
"You're gonna..."

Never missed Melrose Place or Lost In Space
I've seen each Amazing Race and Without A Trace
But I only watched Will & Grace one time, one day
Wish I hadn't, 'cause TiVo now thinks I'm gay
Oh, and Fear Factor I watched maybe a half hour
After that, felt like I needed a long shower
Network execs with naked ambitions
"Next week on FOX - watch lions eat Christians!"
Like to tie up those programming planners
Make 'em watch all of that junk till their heads explode just like "Scanners"
Leech-covered grub-eating fools on Survivor
Look, there's James Lipton discussing the oeuvre of Mr. Rob Schneider
And there's Gilligan and SpongeBob, plus there's MacGyver
And Jay Leno has got Madonna - hey, there's Luke Perry, on a
Special All-Pig-Latin episode of Drew Carey, wanna
Turn on E.T. 'cause I'm a gossip freak
And I gotta know who J. Lo is marryin' this week
A 30-second spot
Then we come back to "Are You Hot?"
I was plannin' on recording The Sopranos - I forgot
I love shows with or without a plot
I'll stare till my legs are numb, my eyes bloodshot
Because I only have got
One brain to rot
I'm gonna spend my life watching television a lot

"You're gonna lose your mind watchin' TV"
They told me, they'd scold me
But I'd still tune in every show (show)
My cable gets C-SPAN, TV-Land and HBO
The Sci Fi Channel and AMC and Lifetime (yo)
"You're gonna lose your mind watchin' TV"
They told me, cajoled me
"Turn off that Oprah Winfrey show!" (no!)
I'm got it on C-SPAN, TV-Land and HBO
The Learning Channel and MTV and Lifetime (yo)
"You're gonna..."

You can watch anything you want to, man

ya, im not much of a go getter. id rather be sleepin

I think I'm going to make a new nick and call myself Britney, and then just post a bunch of stupid gay lyrics....will you guys think Im cool?

No

if you show your tits too

not a problem

Soul, cut the crap.

you don't get out much do you??

Go Getter... LOVE that expression

Weird Al does a fantastic job with that song.

If you don't use a sig, people might just think you're the real deal instead of a bugger picking high school punk!

i'll grab it if it's better than what i have now.....

'I'm Only Sleeping' - Lennon/McCartney

When I wake up early in the morning

Lift my head, I'm still yawning
When I'm in the middle of a dream
Stay in bed, float up stream (float up stream)

Please, don't wake me, no, don't shake me
Leave me where I am - I'm only sleeping

Everybody seems to think I'm lazy
I don't mind, I think they're crazy
Running everywhere at such a speed
Till they find there's no need (there's no need)

Please, don't spoil my day, I'm miles away
And after all I'm only sleeping

Keeping an eye on the world going by my window
Taking my time

Lying there and staring at the ceiling
Waiting for a sleepy feeling...

Please, don't spoil my day, I'm miles away
And after all I'm only sleeping

Keeping an eye on the world going by my window
Taking my time

When I wake up early in the morning
Lift my head, I'm still yawning
When I'm in the middle of a dream
Stay in bed, float up stream (float up stream)

Please, don't wake me, no, don't shake me
Leave me where I am - I'm only sleeping

CAPTURE IT!!!