Basic rule of engagement for board flame

bann this cocksmoking whinner

Dayummmm Amp - you have over 24,000 posts - how can that happen?

Flame War Rules







1)Accuse the other party of your worst faults.

2)Insist that you are an avatar of the Truth and that the other person is Falsehood incarnate, or at least "misled."

3)Dwell on errors. Correct them in others at every opportunity.

4)Never apologize unequivocably. If forced to apologize, justify yourself in a way that makes it sound like the other party was responsible for your actions.

5)Write in such a way that the other party looks stupid if they don't respond.

6)Try to be many things at once, so that you can deny everything that is said about you.

7)Say the same thing over and over again.

8)Always strive to get the last word.

9)Never let a debate rest. Never allow the other party to withdraw without making it clear that they have lost.

10)Insist that you are misunderstood.

11)If you can't find something to flame the person about, make something up.

12)Convince yourself that you see the "real" motives.

13)Remember: Winning is everything

Little bored?

Who flames anymore ...
I nuke

no,playing stupid doesnt count

aaaaahahahahhaaa

dude i would love to have this text. give me permission to use it?

ill put a link like "more here .." linking to ANY link you want!!! or "written by ..."

ANYTHING!!!!

no..its copywritten by me

and if i catch you linking any part of the above text I will send 10 blind mice to eat through your basement walls and chew off your dads nipples

wel ill lease it! $5 per month lol


that is awesome ....

The Twelve Commandments of Flaming
Make things up about your opponent: It's important to make your lies sound true. Preface your argument with the word "clearly." Example: "Clearly, Fred Flooney is a liar, and a dirtball to boot."

Be an armchair psychologist: You're a smart person. You've heard of Freud. You took a psychology course in college. Clearly, you're qualified to psychoanalyze your opponent. Example: "Polly Purebread, by using the word 'zucchini' in her posting, shows she has a bad case of penis envy."

Cross-post your flames: Everybody on the 'Net is just waiting for the next literary masterpiece to leave your terminal! From the Apple II Roundtable to X-10 Powerhouse Roundtable, they're all holding their breath until your next flame. Therefore, post everywhere.

Conspiracies abound: If everybody's against you, the reason can't possibly be that you're a sh**head. There's obviously a conspiracy against you, and you will be doing the entire 'Net a favor by exposing it.

Lawsuit threats: This is the reverse of Rule #4 (sort of like the Yin & Yang of Flaming). Threatening a lawsuit is always considered to be in good form. Example: "By saying that I've posted to the wrong group, Bertha has libeled me, slandered me, and sodomized me. See you in court, Bertha."

Force them to document their claims: Even if Harry Hoinkus states outright that he likes tomato sauce on his pasta, you should demand documentation. If Newsweek hasn't written an article on Harry's pasta preferences, then Harry's obviously lying.

Use foreign phrases: French is good, but Latin is the lingua franca of Flaming. You should use the words "ad hominem" at least three times per article. Other favorite Latin phrases are "ad nauseum," "veni, vidi, vici," and "fettuccini alfredo."

Tell 'em how smart you are: Why use intelligent arguments to convince them you're smart when all you have to do is tell them? State that you're a member of Mensa, or Mega, or Dorks of America. Tell them the scores you received on every exam since high school. Example: "I got an 800 on my SATs, LSATs, GREs, MCATs, and I can also spell the word 'premeiotic'."

Accuse your opponent of censorship: It is your right as an American citizen to post whatever the hell you want to the 'Net (as guaranteed by the 37th Amendment, I think). Anybody who tries to limit your cross-posting or move a Flame War to email is either a communist, a fascist, or both.

Doubt their existence: You've never actually seen your opponent, have you? And since you're the center of the universe, you should have seen them by now, shouldn't you? Therefore, THEY DON'T EXIST! This is the beauty of Flamers' logic.

Lie, cheat, steal, leave the toilet seat up.

When in doubt, insult: If you forget the other 11 rules, remember this one. At some point during your wonderful career as a Flamer you will undoubtedly end up in a Flame War with somebody who is better than you. This person will expose your lies, tear apart your arguments, and make you look generally like a bozo. At this point, there's only one thing to do . . . INSULT THE DIRTBAG! Example: "Oh yeah? Well, your mother does strange things with vegetables."

EXAMPLE REPLY POST . . . for the Rookie Flamer
>Dear Joe,

I object to your use of the word "dear." It shows you are a condescending, sexist pig. Also, the submissive tone you use shows that you like to be tied down and flagellated with licorice whips.

>While I found your article "The Effect of Belly-Button Lint
>on Western Thought" to be extremely thought-provoking,

"Thought-provoking?" I had no idea you could think, you rotting piece of swamp slime.

>it really shouldn't have been posted in rec.scuba.

What? Are you questioning my judgment? I'll have you know that I'm a member of the super-high-IQ Society Menstruate. I got an 800 on my PMS exam.

Your attempts constitute nothing less than censorship. There is a conspiracy against me. You, Riff Raff, and Simon Sinister have been constantly harassing me by email. This was an ad hominem attack! I have therefore cross-posted this to alt.flame, rec.nude, comp.graphics, and rec.arts.wobegon.

>Perhaps you should have posted it in misc.misc.

It is my right, as granted in the Bill of Rights, the Magna Carta, the Bible, and the Koran, to post where ever I want to. Or don't you believe in those documents, you damned fascist? Perhaps if you didn't spend so much time sacrificing virgins and infants to Satan, you would have realized this.

>Your article would be much more appropriate there.

Can you document this? I will only accept documents notarized by my attorney, and signed by you in blood. Besides, you don't really exist anyway, you AI project, you.

Thanks for the advice amp
I'm a lover not a fighter...

Well said

Just steal it and LIE and say you bought it off ebay like you did the Xbiz article.

See Titmowse post here: http://gofuckyourself.com/showthread...hreadid=166598

zingggggggggg...consider his girlie and his dads basement, mines ;))

24691 (33.32 posts per day)

too much time spent on the board.

he was somehow able to stop jacking off, so he needs something to do with his hands

Since when do you ask before you steal?

its the 'rich' way

No...you don't. You whine and cry like a little first grade girl who's had her pigtails pulled too hard, and start a whole cry baby thread about banning me.

Tattle tale!! Tattle tale!! Hang your britches on a nail!!!

btw- No penalty box for me so that means I can still cross-check and spear you right in the face, since I still got a couple left.

(sorry about the little girl/pigtail reference- didn't mean to get you all hot and bothered at this time of night)

Humm I was wondering if there would be any Seminars at Internext on "How to piss 101.

Part One:
Picking your battle and when to call your target a cocksmoker.

Discussion topics will include heated debate amoung participating seminar attendies.
Coffee and Bagels will be made available.

Part Two:
Researching your target.
How, where to look for dirt on your intended target.

Discussion Topics will include how to research posters on various boards and utilizing ICQ for dirt digging.

Part Three
The Flavor of cross pissing and saving your ass.

Discussion will include, how to invite and propagate false rumors or even facts through other participants in a thread discussion that is red hot.

amp has a PhD in board wars....

omg that hurt, ahh shit im crying ... might as well quit business now, my rep is ruined, fuck .. everyone thinks im a thief, damnit i have no respect.

Labret handed me my ass back in the days


since then I havent been the same since

on a side note... figure 20 seconds between each post, 10-60 seconds to type it, 5 seconds to post it, 30-40 to find a thread to post in, we will go with a minute and a half for each post.

24691*1.5=37036.5 minutes wasted
1440 minutes in a day.
37036.5/1440 = 25.72

i think the profiles should not how many days wasted on this board since registering, and amp would be at 25.72 days.

speaking of flamewars, www.flamewarz.com site i had goin for a lil while as a project.

labret kicked your ass amp

why cant we all just get along

If your perceptions of pissing come solely from the amateur verbal palsy that you witness on GFY, then you have never witnessed true pissing.

GFY is more for pissers in training. You get alot of the "you suck cock", "you are gay" sort of pissing on here. Its no different than two kids in highschool having a parking lot argument after school. True pissing leaves an opponent devastated, afraid to open their mouths, afraid to type a reply for fear they know its just going to be rammed back up their ass.

Pissers have styles. You have a 12Clicks style, a real condescending "you are just a puny human not worthy of a piss" style. You have a Colin, extremely smart and will make you dance around your own words, one slip up on your behalf and argument over, goes in for the kill quickly. You got the ever popular AMP style, which is more of the "you suck cock, eat my dick, you are a bitch little fag" sorta material. Usually lacking in finesse and logic, but none the less effective against amateurs, its more a war of attrition than anything else. In this sort of pissing, he who goes longest wins.. hence the 14 page threads of "Ill rape you and your mother" responses. Then you got someone like Serge who will just rant shit that doesnt make sense half the time, but when you least expect it will throw out personal info and business information you had no idea he had access to that will leave you speachless. You see alot of unbalanced matches on here. You shouldnt see a Colin versus an Amp, that would be pointless. Or a 12Clicks versus Lilrich, a good piss has balance between the combatants.

The usenet is where true pissing used to occur. Lives were ruined, careers damaged, wars that lasted literally for years.

GFY, mostly kids thinking they know how to piss.

its the 'rich' way

Even more annoying than Am way eh?

There is nothing but fake pissing wars and made up drama around these hills..

you're just bitter cause you finally realized that I pissed in your beer in montreal when you weren't looking.

very true.... rarely do you see two competing styles clash with each other, unless there's some kind of unique spark that sets it off and it shows promise of strong development. The Amp/Serge War was a classic example. It connected the two styles for a good long piss, and still managed to keep it interesting. Most conflicting style flames like that simply aren't done because as you said, they're unbalanced, and usually boring. I ultimately had to bow out of that one and let Serge claim the trophy, because I was using the attrition method, and Serge quickly adapted and wore me down with an absolute unbending attrition of his own. So in the end, a perfect example of why those types of matches are extremely rare.

The one between you and I that I tried to fuel up last Friday I think, is another good example. You tend to have more of a Colin style. A quite effective & probably the most sought after and envied style of all. But it doesn't mesh well with my style, and the spark really wasn't there to show any promise of long term development, which only makes it boring. I could probably nurse it along, but I honestly just don't have the time these days to do a multi-threaded, cross linked, Serge type war anymore.

another very important element is the foundation. You simply have to have a good solid foundation for the piss. Even if it's completely contrived bs, it's still gotta be something juicy or fundamental. If it's too weak, like for example, a heated 6 page flame is started over a spelling error... the piss won't last more than an afternoon. There's not enough foundation to keep it interesting for more than the moment.

I survived the Derek Smart Flame War of 1991-2002 and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.

Im not sure anyone will catch that joke around these parts.

But Labret is right....

If you cant win you can always prank call the fucker, just dont be dumb enough to show your number

usually right out of the gate works. throws `em off balance ...

There's a slight error in 11/12. They should be combined as per http://www.alsirat.com/flame.html

you think he really spent the time to write that? ::bap::

hey rich, 2 seconds on google and i found where TDF plagerized it:

http://www.alsirat.com/flame.html