Things that bother me in Hollywood movies / tv shows - GoFuckYourself.com - Adult Webmaster Forum

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#1

Things that bother me in Hollywood movies / tv shows

08-25-2003, 02:04 PM

These following things bother me quite a bit. Why I share them with you is a complete mystery, but my GF fell asleep and I have nobody to talk to.

hehehe..

1) When people wake up, or come out of the pool they have makeup on and hair usually perfect.

2) People run and shoot, and hit. Have you tried it, fuck if I hit a barn when running and shooting.

3) When people shoot with ak47 at the good guys, they go behind a fallen table and the bullets don't pierce it.

4) Cars explode way way too easily

5) Cops just shoot in crowds and have high-speed chases in the middle of a rush-hour.

I know it's entertainment, but it's still annoying.

..and I'm off.
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#2

08-25-2003, 02:06 PM

Originally posted by TeenGodFather

2) People run and shoot, and hit. Have you tried it, fuck if I hit a barn when running and shooting.

Went paintballing this weekend and this sure is hard

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#3

08-25-2003, 02:17 PM

people never dial the phone and rarely unlock car doors.
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#4

08-25-2003, 02:19 PM

Originally posted by sarah_webinc
...rarely unlock car doors

yep, never saw this happening in a movie

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#5

08-25-2003, 02:20 PM

Their makeup and hair look just as good before sex as after, even if it is supposed to be wild kinky sex, or an all night fling.

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#6

08-25-2003, 02:21 PM

Originally posted by Wildcard

yep, never saw this happening in a movie

Ummm many o' teenagers die in horror films because they can not unlock a door or start a car.

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#7

08-25-2003, 02:23 PM

You guys should come to Hollywood and check out some of the studios.

Youd be amazed what they show you.

Hollywood has one theory, it can be done with mirrors.

It's all not real.

Everything from the saloon doors being inches/feet shorter than in real life to make John Wayne look taller, to the Psycho house. It's all make believe.

The Universal Studio tour is killer if youre ever in town.

They take you to where Jaws was filmed, and you realize its a small pond, and a backdrop painted like the sunrise or nightfall depending on the set.

It wasnt filmed anywhere near water hahaha

Coulda fooled me.

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#8

08-25-2003, 02:23 PM

Originally posted by freeadultcontent

Ummm many o' teenagers die in horror films because they can not unlock a door or start a car.

good point.
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#9

08-25-2003, 02:26 PM

what bugs me is the tv/movie pour. just watch. nobody ever pours a full drink or cup of coffee on film, except maybe for a shot glass. drives me nucking futs!

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#10

08-25-2003, 02:29 PM

Originally posted by sarah_webinc
people never dial the phone and rarely unlock car doors.

Oh yeah, and the phonecalls.

Guy 1, "Meet me at the docks"
Guy 2, "I'll be there"
*click*

What fucking time?!

Guy 1, "Meet me at 8 o'clock"
Guy 2, "I'll be there"
*click*

Where?!

hehe.. Small things that annoy me. But luckily I don't seem to be alone.

..and I'm off.
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#11

08-25-2003, 02:38 PM

watch the news instead

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#12

08-25-2003, 02:40 PM

Originally posted by freeadultcontent

Ummm many o' teenagers die in horror films because they can not unlock a door or start a car.

Yes, you sometimes see them trying to unlock a car. But seriously, I never saw someone LOCKING a car, did you?

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#13

08-25-2003, 02:40 PM

Originally posted by SkyWalker
watch the news instead

fuck off swoit

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#14

08-25-2003, 02:43 PM

Originally posted by sarah_webinc
people never dial the phone and rarely unlock car doors.

Nor do they lock their front doors - even in NYC!

It's one of the things I enjoy about watching British and Foreign films and TV shows - the people look REAL - it's BELIEVABLE. Thank goodness for BBCA and Netflix.
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#15

08-25-2003, 02:44 PM

Doesnt stop there. Here's something to think about next time you're watching a cereal commercial.

They can't film milk, it shows up blue and nasty looking, nowhere near white.

So they substitute milk for glue. Next time you see that Lucky Charms commercial, thats glue they are pouring over the cereal.

Hollywood secret of the day.

1. White glue is used instead of milk because milk can appear blue-ish on camera. So by mixing white glue and water, you get a thicker, more dense substance that looks great on TV...seals your mouth shut in real life!
2. Turkey is always used uncooked and is coated with chemicals to give it a "cooked look". Hey if they have to make cheese orange by dyeing it that way, maybe there's some logic in that...
3. Seeds on hamburger buns get glued on so they won't fall off. Nope, no joke there...
4. Grapes are covered in cooking oil to make them look shiny and delicious!
5. Bright lights and long hours sometimes make it necessary to improvise food. For example: mashed potatoes, lard and shaving cream make a nice subsitute for ice cream. Who said there were only 31 flavors? Yummy!

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#16

08-25-2003, 02:44 PM

unless it's a very specific scene about gastro intestinal problems made worse by use of some laxative product, like in American Pie or Van Wilder, you NEVER see anyone needing to take a crap, and very rarely a piss.

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#17

08-25-2003, 02:47 PM

people put their underwear back on before they fall asleep after sex all the time in movies
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#18

08-25-2003, 02:47 PM

Originally posted by Wildcard

fuck off swoit
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#19

08-25-2003, 02:47 PM

during intense shootout type scenes, these fuckers will empty a clip and throw the fucking gun away.... I guess in the movies, guns are dirt cheap or grow on trees.... there's always another fully loaded gun ready to grab somewhere, so if you empty one, just chuck it into the street and grab another.

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#20

08-25-2003, 02:49 PM

Originally posted by Amputate Your Head
unless it's a very specific scene about gastro intestinal problems made worse by use of some laxative product, like in American Pie or Van Wilder, you NEVER see anyone needing to take a crap, and very rarely a piss.

and its a damn shame.. i did see a move once..it was weird and cant remember it..posey parker was a freak in it.. but had a great scene with this guy just sitting on the toilet having the runs.. while she is talking to him and i think he asks her to marry him ..
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#21

08-25-2003, 02:49 PM

Originally posted by Wildcard

Yes, you sometimes see them trying to unlock a car. But seriously, I never saw someone LOCKING a car, did you?

From the inside many times.

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#22

08-25-2003, 02:51 PM

One thing you most certainly RARELY see are dead children.

They rarely show it. Since Trainspotting its been an issue.

Dead babies are a Hollywood no no.

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#23

08-25-2003, 02:52 PM

Most male actors are short too. It seems to me that the biz get invaded by small people, except very tall women.

Most female actors are also tall than their male protagonists.

NB! YOU will not see Tom Cruise standig side by side with a guy taller than him, I,e taller than 5.5ft....

Us taller guys are left behind

"hollywood" is best laughable anyways. Most quality films get made outside Tinsletown.....

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#24

08-25-2003, 02:54 PM

Originally posted by sarah_webinc
people never dial the phone

And when they do call someone they always say something like this:

Steve: Joe, I think I'll call and order us a pizza.

Joe: K dude.

Steve picks up the phone

Steve: Hello PIZZA PLACE....

or it's Hello 911, Hello GROCERY STORE, Hello *fill in blank here*

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#25

08-25-2003, 02:54 PM

Originally posted by Fletch XXX
One thing you most certainly RARELY see are dead children.

They rarely show it. Since Trainspotting its been an issue.

Dead babies are a Hollywood no no.

in the UK it is dead household pets. They don't mind writing scenes where awful things happen to them but don't show them dead.
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#26

08-25-2003, 02:57 PM

Originally posted by freeadultcontent

From the inside many times.

Yep, mostly in horror movies, because a monster is trying to eat HIS FLeShhhhhh

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#27

08-25-2003, 02:59 PM

I hate it when they show people waking up after a night of drunken sex and givng each other big sloppy kisses. Morning mouth, anyone?

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#28

08-25-2003, 03:01 PM

Don´t forget those tire noises... they squeak even on sand.
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#29

08-25-2003, 03:02 PM

And bullets ricochet off of every material known to man.

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#30

08-25-2003, 03:05 PM

computers always have amazingly big text that can be read from across the room
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#31

08-25-2003, 03:06 PM

computers will give you full access to anything you want after three password attempts, and can download the library of congress in 4 seconds flat. With just a little tweaking, you can use a laptop at a table in a diner to access satellite weapons systems and have complete targetting control. Totally wireless of course.

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#32

08-25-2003, 03:06 PM

My biggest pet peeve is shitty actresses who think their too important to do any nudity even though their making big bucks...however it's okay for the poor chick who is making scale to do all of the nudity in order to get the R rating they so badly want.

Let's talk about Meg Ryan for instance...God I hate this woman.

Bitch makes millions each film she does.

In the doors she plays Jim Morrison's chick who's not only a junkie but a bit of a slut.

However in one scene Val Kilmer pulls off of her and the blanket reveals a bit of nipple.

So what does she do. While the scene is going on instead of being an "actress" and rolling with it she actually covers herself back up.

Okay now in the movie Proof of Life.

She plays the nervous little housewife waiting for the return of her kidnapped husband.

So I'm sure during her character research she figured the woman while nervous would light up a cig and smoke it.

So watch this hack try to pretend she's smoking. You see her throughout the film with a cig in hand and she even starts to put it up to her lips...but not ONCE does she inhale.

It's just a fucking prop, and a bad one at that.

I pointed it out to a family member and ended up ruining the movie for him because all he did was watch for the cig scenes...lol...but he was amazed that I was right.

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#33

08-25-2003, 03:08 PM

I have friends who do audio for film, nothing big but...

One of the funniest is joking about how all cars make that 'screeching' peel out noise, even in dirt. We were joking about this the other day going through sound effect sound libraries.

hahaha

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#34

08-25-2003, 03:10 PM

For the record.

In that same movie, different scene, Val Kilmer didnt show his ass when fucking that Witch in New York..

That's a stunt double too.

He's afraid to show himself.

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#35

08-25-2003, 03:13 PM

Originally posted by freeadultcontent
And bullets ricochet off of every material known to man.

LOL, and the bad guy shoots 100 times at close range and never hits the good guy. The good guy shoots twice from around the corner and nails the bad guy!
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#36

08-25-2003, 03:14 PM

vicious killer guard dogs are always dobermans.

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#37

08-25-2003, 03:14 PM

Hey Fletch re: foods in film etc.

I worked on many commercials and it's amazing what they do to make that stuff look good.

For meat products to have that grilled look, they actually have a grill mark iron.

The food "stylist" used a torch to give the chicken an even brown look and then used this iron *with a grill pattern on the end of it* to burn grill marks in it.

They did the same thing with hamburger patties.

Another thing is with baked potatoes they have this little bit of cotton dipped into some kind of chemical that they put inside the potatoe then squirt some activator on it and that gives them the steam.

We did a Mars Bar commercial for Germany and we used Snickers that were put into Mars bar packaging for the actor to eat...the best part is the spit bucket...LOL

We also did a number of cig commercials for West Cigarrettes and the package that the actor holds up was always about 1.5 x's larger than the original. The cigs were actually pieces of chalk that a product specialist covered with papers that looked like cig paper.

The list goes on..

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#38

08-25-2003, 03:15 PM

You never see them going for a towel or arguing over who gets the wetspot after long, hard sex in a Hollywood movie either.....

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#39

08-25-2003, 03:15 PM

Originally posted by Fletch XXX
For the record.

In that same movie, different scene, Val Kilmer didnt show his ass when fucking that Witch in New York..

That's a stunt double too.

He's afraid to show himself.

LOL that's just fucking sad.

You pay me that kind of money, give me that kind of fame, etc I'll let anyone see the depths of my ass.

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#40

08-25-2003, 03:17 PM

you can knock down any door except a bank vault with one good solid kick.

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#41

08-25-2003, 03:19 PM

Originally posted by Amputate Your Head
computers will give you full access to anything you want after three password attempts, and can download the library of congress in 4 seconds flat. With just a little tweaking, you can use a laptop at a table in a diner to access satellite weapons systems and have complete targetting control. Totally wireless of course.

this one is good

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#42

08-25-2003, 03:21 PM

Originally posted by Amputate Your Head
With just a little tweaking, you can use a laptop at a table in a diner to access satellite weapons systems and have complete targetting control. Totally wireless of course.

yes, and all laptops have such amazing battery life that you never see a laptop plugged in,
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#43

08-25-2003, 03:21 PM

anyone that's ex-military, regardless of field of training, is an indestructable trained super killer that can cripple you with just a touch.

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#44

08-25-2003, 03:23 PM

I know alot of people didn't like the film, but I got a kick out of it and all it's pop shots that it took against action films and that was Arnold's Las Action Hero.

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#45

08-25-2003, 03:24 PM

Cars are always clean, unless they want to give that 'rugged' feel.

..and I'm off.
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#46

08-25-2003, 03:25 PM

the hero never dies

enemy empties a whole fuckin magazine on the hero & doesn't hit

hero kills enemy with 1 bullet

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#47

08-25-2003, 03:26 PM

Originally posted by Peaches

Nor do they lock their front doors - even in NYC!

It's one of the things I enjoy about watching British and Foreign films and TV shows - the people look REAL - it's BELIEVABLE. Thank goodness for BBCA and Netflix.

nice to see you've found ONE thing thats good about them

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#48

08-25-2003, 03:27 PM

You'll like this site then:

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#49

08-25-2003, 03:27 PM

Originally posted by Wildcard
the hero never dies

enemy empties a whole fuckin magazine on the hero & doesn't hit

hero kills enemy with 1 bullet

seen arlington road? the one movie i can think of that the hero does die and the badguy wins

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#50

08-25-2003, 03:28 PM

foreign bad guys always discuss their plans IN ENGLISH and always near an air duct where the hero just happens to be

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