10.) Even with autofocus and steady shot, the images or video will look like Barney Fife was the director.
9.) Unfinished laundry must be seen on the floor or background including the kid's soccer practice clothes, baby clothes and last night's concert chili stained " I'm with stupid " t-shirt.
8.) A dog or cat's food dish with half eaten food and water must somehow be part of the background.
7.) Neighbors and passersby can be seen mowing their lawns or standing aghast.
6.) Somehow, someway, high school pics, family pics, diplomas and shopping lists will inevitably be seen in clear view in the background posted on the bedpost or refrigerator.
5.) Garbage still in the garbage bin needing emptying and without flaw there will be pampers, beer and soda bottles and a crushed pizza box nearby.
4.) Gotta have that license plate or mailbox or better yet that 'Welcome to Such-n-Such Town' in the shoot or it ain't authentic.
3.) What would an amateur shoot be like without some off camera cigarette smoke wafting in front of the lens so that the pics look like those " Ghost Visits Family " pics from the Weekly World News.
2.) Not much of an amateur shoot without the kid's palm prints all over the wall in the background!
1.) The Sun. Gotta take advantage of every way the sun can screw up a shot. Ain't good amateur stuff unless somehow, a violation of the laws of common sense and physics come into play and that old burning ball of giant gas appears behind everything or glaring off of something obscurring vital image targets.
9.) Unfinished laundry must be seen on the floor or background including the kid's soccer practice clothes, baby clothes and last night's concert chili stained " I'm with stupid " t-shirt.
8.) A dog or cat's food dish with half eaten food and water must somehow be part of the background.
7.) Neighbors and passersby can be seen mowing their lawns or standing aghast.
6.) Somehow, someway, high school pics, family pics, diplomas and shopping lists will inevitably be seen in clear view in the background posted on the bedpost or refrigerator.
5.) Garbage still in the garbage bin needing emptying and without flaw there will be pampers, beer and soda bottles and a crushed pizza box nearby.
4.) Gotta have that license plate or mailbox or better yet that 'Welcome to Such-n-Such Town' in the shoot or it ain't authentic.
3.) What would an amateur shoot be like without some off camera cigarette smoke wafting in front of the lens so that the pics look like those " Ghost Visits Family " pics from the Weekly World News.
2.) Not much of an amateur shoot without the kid's palm prints all over the wall in the background!
1.) The Sun. Gotta take advantage of every way the sun can screw up a shot. Ain't good amateur stuff unless somehow, a violation of the laws of common sense and physics come into play and that old burning ball of giant gas appears behind everything or glaring off of something obscurring vital image targets.
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