Jahovah's Witnesses Are Raiding My Neighborhood!!! Aaaahhhhh!!!!!!

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  • iroc409
    Confirmed User
    • Jan 2003
    • 4728
    #1

    Jahovah's Witnesses Are Raiding My Neighborhood!!! Aaaahhhhh!!!!!!

    yeah. the guy was fairly cool and surprisingly didn't bug me hardly at all, just wanted to give me one of their publications.

    he was talking about how poor values have gotten. i should have told him i make adult designs

    at least he didn't try and come in my house.
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    • sherie
      Confirmed User
      • Feb 2002
      • 7020
      #2
      You must invite them in and ask them if they are interested in what you do, then pop in a porn video
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        • XYCash
          Confirmed User
          • Jun 2003
          • 582
          #3
          when they talk about how bad things have gotten..just mention to them that 100 years ago 9 year old kids were working in horrible conditions in factories in the U.S. and they were hanging starving street kids by the boat load in England for stealing food from street vendors. That tends to shut them up.
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            • =^..^=
              Confirmed User
              • Jan 2002
              • 6935
              #4
              My dad is one
              I know the secret to getting rid of them:

              tell them you are "Disfellowshipped"

              (means you once were one and then got kicked out)

              they are not allowed to speak One word to a disellowshipped member.
              they just shut up and move on.
              #RememberYourRoots #AaronMForGFYHOF

                Comment

                • skazzel
                  Confirmed User
                  • Jun 2002
                  • 270
                  #5
                  I think they have turned down the hard-sell approach a bit. This isn't the fucking 1950's anymore, they annoy the wrong person/people and they are at least going to get their asses kicked.
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                    • iroc409
                      Confirmed User
                      • Jan 2003
                      • 4728
                      #6
                      lol... disfellowshipped. how do you get kicked out of a religion??


                      yeah, i had some stuff on my screen i have been working on, i should have invited him in and not said anything, just had a conversation with him and see what he'd say
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                        • skazzel
                          Confirmed User
                          • Jun 2002
                          • 270
                          #7
                          Originally posted by =^..^=
                          My dad is one
                          I know the secret to getting rid of them:

                          tell them you are "Disfellowshipped"

                          (means you once were one and then got kicked out)

                          they are not allowed to speak One word to a disellowshipped member.
                          they just shut up and move on.
                          lol, good tip!
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                            • iroc409
                              Confirmed User
                              • Jan 2003
                              • 4728
                              #8
                              Originally posted by skazzel
                              I think they have turned down the hard-sell approach a bit. This isn't the fucking 1950's anymore, they annoy the wrong person/people and they are at least going to get their asses kicked.

                              yeah, i was very surprised about that, he did ask my first name but that's it. he was here like 3 minutes. good thing he doesn't sell insurance, he'd be broke
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                                • nazgul
                                  Confirmed User
                                  • Feb 2002
                                  • 227
                                  #9
                                  lol... disfellowshipped. how do you get kicked out of a religion??




                                  being a priest and f*cking an alter boy!

                                  I think that is just one of many

                                    Comment

                                    • ldinternet
                                      Confirmed User
                                      • Apr 2001
                                      • 8245
                                      #10
                                      Originally posted by XYCash
                                      they were hanging starving street kids by the boat load in England for stealing food from street vendors.
                                      good timez.

                                        Comment

                                        • escorpio
                                          doesn't fuck around.
                                          • Oct 2002
                                          • 23486
                                          #11
                                          Years ago a Jehovah's Witness had the misfortune of knocking on my door after I had taken psychedelic mushrooms.

                                          "You want to talk about God, Heaven, Hell and the Universe? Me, too! C'mon in!"
                                          Unvaxxed, still alive.

                                            Comment

                                            • Triple 6
                                              Confirmed User
                                              • Feb 2002
                                              • 5394
                                              #12
                                              Originally posted by escorpio
                                              Years ago a Jehovah's Witness had the misfortune of knocking on my door after I had taken psychedelic mushrooms.

                                              "You want to talk about God, Heaven, Hell and the Universe? Me, too! C'mon in!"

                                              Indeed. Although I wasnt drugged out when they last came, but being an athiest-type, I love having these conversations with people who believe in God crap and the like. Why try to rush them off, which is only doing them a favor, when instead you can act like a prospect and slowly torture them with intellectual conversation that they cant keep up with.

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                                                • Triple 6
                                                  Confirmed User
                                                  • Feb 2002
                                                  • 5394
                                                  #13
                                                  Whats the religion that allows you more then one wife (in the US). Mormon? Why dont these fucks ever knock on my door? My wife needs a sit down.
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                                                    • archer
                                                      Confirmed User
                                                      • Jul 2002
                                                      • 1721
                                                      #14
                                                      Originally posted by =^..^=
                                                      My dad is one
                                                      I know the secret to getting rid of them:

                                                      tell them you are "Disfellowshipped"

                                                      (means you once were one and then got kicked out)

                                                      they are not allowed to speak One word to a disellowshipped member.
                                                      they just shut up and move on.
                                                      u can get kicked out of the JWs for a variety of reasons....

                                                      questioning doctrine is a good way.


                                                      they haven't darkened my door in ages!!!!!
                                                      maybe they don't come to canada anymore?

                                                      but when they do.... i'll tell 'em that i'm disfellowshipped.
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                                                        • angeleyes
                                                          Confirmed User
                                                          • Feb 2003
                                                          • 3584
                                                          #15
                                                          Answer the door naked just one time and you'll get blacklisted and never re-visited.
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                                                            • Yo Adrian
                                                              Confirmed User
                                                              • Apr 2002
                                                              • 6326
                                                              #16
                                                              Originally posted by Triple 6
                                                              Whats the religion that allows you more then one wife (in the US). Mormon? Why dont these fucks ever knock on my door? My wife needs a sit down.
                                                              Yep they're Mormons. They're the ones that always used to come around our neighborhood.. White shirts, black ties and bike helmets hehe
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                                                                • Bex
                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                  • Feb 2003
                                                                  • 2382
                                                                  #17
                                                                  Originally posted by nazgul
                                                                  lol... disfellowshipped. how do you get kicked out of a religion??

                                                                  being a priest and f*cking an alter boy!

                                                                  I think that is just one of many
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                                                                    • C_U_Next_Tuesday
                                                                      WW4L
                                                                      • Oct 2002
                                                                      • 10581
                                                                      #18
                                                                      I have obviouly trained my daughter well, they came a knocking the other day with free cookies to offer and to come on in... she opened the door with a smile..asked them what they wanted..the first thing they did was offer her free cookies (little package of famous amos)..she snatched the cookies from them..gave them the finger and slammed the door in their faces I was bummed i wasnt there to harrass and swear at them

                                                                        Comment

                                                                        • LeeNoga
                                                                          Confirmed User
                                                                          • Jul 2001
                                                                          • 3043
                                                                          #19
                                                                          Originally posted by =^..^=
                                                                          My dad is one
                                                                          I know the secret to getting rid of them:

                                                                          tell them you are "Disfellowshipped"

                                                                          (means you once were one and then got kicked out)

                                                                          they are not allowed to speak One word to a disellowshipped member.
                                                                          they just shut up and move on.
                                                                          WOW, thats great! Nothing has ever worked and this is worth a try, thanks babee.

                                                                            Comment

                                                                            • mule
                                                                              Confirmed User
                                                                              • Jan 2002
                                                                              • 6085
                                                                              #20
                                                                              Originally posted by iroc409
                                                                              yeah. the guy was fairly cool and surprisingly didn't bug me hardly at all, just wanted to give me one of their publications.

                                                                              he was talking about how poor values have gotten. i should have told him i make adult designs

                                                                              at least he didn't try and come in my house.
                                                                              I always say "fuck off, I'm gay"
                                                                              Converting like a mofo

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                                                                                • mastamindz
                                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                                  • Feb 2002
                                                                                  • 3547
                                                                                  #21
                                                                                  Fuck, my girlfriend made the mistake of talking to them, now they come every other week to talk to her. They did bring a hot 18 year old jehova bitch though
                                                                                  If you click here, you will make money.

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                                                                                    • dnsmonster
                                                                                      Confirmed User
                                                                                      • Jul 2002
                                                                                      • 634
                                                                                      #22
                                                                                      Whenever I see those people walking towards my door I strip butt naked and when they knock open the door and try to invite them in. They never come in, dammit.
                                                                                      I couldn't possibly know what I'm talking about, I'm completely, absolutely and definitively out of my fucking mind.

                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                        • Backov
                                                                                          Confirmed User
                                                                                          • Mar 2001
                                                                                          • 1600
                                                                                          #23
                                                                                          I don't know shit about the JW - is it true that part of their doctrine is that the space shuttle launches didn't happen? Doesn't fit in with their world view somehow..
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                                                                                            • twistyneck
                                                                                              So Fucking Banned
                                                                                              • Jan 2002
                                                                                              • 4660
                                                                                              #24
                                                                                              Originally posted by Yo Adrian


                                                                                              Yep they're Mormons. They're the ones that always used to come around our neighborhood.. White shirts, black ties and bike helmets hehe
                                                                                              We have a whole housefull of those guys just a few doors down. They are always out riding their bikes around, rain or shine, snow or sleet, doesn't matter. I've chatted with them, they seem harmless enough, and they never cause any trouble at all. At least they seem to really believe in what they are doing which is more than 99% of us can say about anything.

                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                • Basher
                                                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                                                  • Nov 2002
                                                                                                  • 1168
                                                                                                  #25
                                                                                                  Originally posted by iroc409
                                                                                                  yeah. the guy was fairly cool and surprisingly didn't bug me hardly at all, just wanted to give me one of their publications.

                                                                                                  he was talking about how poor values have gotten. i should have told him i make adult designs

                                                                                                  at least he didn't try and come in my house.
                                                                                                  Next time answer the door in PVC shorts nipple clamps and a leather gimp mask then invite them in for a coffee and a chat
                                                                                                  my bum itches

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                                                                                                    • tootie
                                                                                                      Confirmed User
                                                                                                      • Jun 2003
                                                                                                      • 6041
                                                                                                      #26
                                                                                                      When I was in high school (8th grade I think) I was sitting on the bus with a new girl in school. I forget how the conversation started, but I ended up mentioning how annoying Jehova's Witnesses are and how my dad gets really mad when they come knocking on the door. Then she said, "I'm a Jehova's Witness."

                                                                                                      Oops.


                                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                                        • PeerPatrick
                                                                                                          Confirmed User
                                                                                                          • Jun 2003
                                                                                                          • 444
                                                                                                          #27
                                                                                                          Originally posted by nazgul
                                                                                                          lol... disfellowshipped. how do you get kicked out of a religion??




                                                                                                          being a priest and f*cking an alter boy!

                                                                                                          I think that is just one of many

                                                                                                          Hey Naz, you sure talk about fucking little boys a lot...hmmm makes me wonder. Hows your little redheaded girlfriend doing anyway...or the last one that left you? What was her number again? Wonder why she did that? Did she suspect the same things that I do? GFY poorhouse loser. GL with Monster.com.
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                                                                                                            • loverboy
                                                                                                              When it rains, it pours
                                                                                                              • May 2003
                                                                                                              • 20609
                                                                                                              #28
                                                                                                              no one is knocking at my door lately.. maybe because i showed them my shotgun. lol

                                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                                • archer
                                                                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                                                                  • Jul 2002
                                                                                                                  • 1721
                                                                                                                  #29
                                                                                                                  Originally posted by twistyneck


                                                                                                                  We have a whole housefull of those guys just a few doors down. They are always out riding their bikes around, rain or shine, snow or sleet, doesn't matter. I've chatted with them, they seem harmless enough, and they never cause any trouble at all. At least they seem to really believe in what they are doing which is more than 99% of us can say about anything.

                                                                                                                  aren't they the guys that have to wear some sort of weird anti masturbation gear?
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                                                                                                                    • iroc409
                                                                                                                      Confirmed User
                                                                                                                      • Jan 2003
                                                                                                                      • 4728
                                                                                                                      #30
                                                                                                                      Originally posted by Basher


                                                                                                                      Next time answer the door in PVC shorts nipple clamps and a leather gimp mask then invite them in for a coffee and a chat

                                                                                                                      lol... problem is i don't think i'd want to have those things in my house. i already get harassed enough around here because people think i'm a producer.
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                                                                                                                        • LadyMischief
                                                                                                                          Orgasms N Such!
                                                                                                                          • Sep 2002
                                                                                                                          • 18135
                                                                                                                          #31
                                                                                                                          Originally posted by iroc409
                                                                                                                          lol... disfellowshipped. how do you get kicked out of a religion??


                                                                                                                          yeah, i had some stuff on my screen i have been working on, i should have invited him in and not said anything, just had a conversation with him and see what he'd say
                                                                                                                          I was disfellowshipped (I was raised as a JW...gak!). They stop acknowledging you, that kind of thing..even your family isn't allowed to talk to you, it's utter fucking bullshit..they should see me now, practicing wiccan and peddling porn. I'm the anithema of everything they believe in :P

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                                                                                                                            • SexxxyChat-T
                                                                                                                              Confirmed User
                                                                                                                              • Jun 2003
                                                                                                                              • 697
                                                                                                                              #32
                                                                                                                              I was born and raised here in Las Vegas, which most people don't know, was founded by the Mormons. So needless to say, they are friggin EVERYWHERE!!

                                                                                                                              They knock on the door at the crack of dawn, and if you peek through the window and let them know you are inside, they will keep knocking... persistant bastages.

                                                                                                                              I always fuck with my Mormon friends by asking them what God up in Salt Lake City wants them to do this week...

                                                                                                                              They are alright people though, good neighbors to have, they don't trash their lawn and raise hoodlum kids quite as often as some of the other trashy neighbors I've had.
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                                                                                                                                • adultvisitors
                                                                                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                  • Jun 2003
                                                                                                                                  • 1417
                                                                                                                                  #33
                                                                                                                                  Originally posted by sherie
                                                                                                                                  You must invite them in and ask them if they are interested in what you do, then pop in a porn video
                                                                                                                                  I laughed!


                                                                                                                                  And then what would happen????


                                                                                                                                  Sounds like Bret Easton Ellis "American Psycho" style.
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                                                                                                                                    • Tala
                                                                                                                                      Fucked if I know
                                                                                                                                      • Dec 2002
                                                                                                                                      • 23368
                                                                                                                                      #34
                                                                                                                                      Draw a chalk outline of a body on your front porch or in the driveway and scatter religious pamphlets around it. They'll leave you the fuck alone. Trust me.

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                                                                                                                                        • Mr Pheer
                                                                                                                                          So Fucking Banned
                                                                                                                                          • Dec 2002
                                                                                                                                          • 22082
                                                                                                                                          #35
                                                                                                                                          Originally posted by =^..^=
                                                                                                                                          My dad is one
                                                                                                                                          I know the secret to getting rid of them:

                                                                                                                                          tell them you are "Disfellowshipped"

                                                                                                                                          (means you once were one and then got kicked out)

                                                                                                                                          they are not allowed to speak One word to a disellowshipped member.
                                                                                                                                          they just shut up and move on.
                                                                                                                                          fuck, thanks for the info

                                                                                                                                          I'm gonna use that the next time those fuckers ring the doorbell at 9am on saturday and wake me up

                                                                                                                                            Comment

                                                                                                                                            • TheJimmy
                                                                                                                                              ICQ- five seven 0 2 5 5 0
                                                                                                                                              • Jan 2001
                                                                                                                                              • 10747
                                                                                                                                              #36
                                                                                                                                              I invited them in and had them watch the end of "The Devils Advocate" and try to explain how the argument Pacino made wasn't sound...

                                                                                                                                              was an interesting day .... and never got a solid, sensible response yet from them on that one...


                                                                                                                                              "Hi I'm God, I'll give you free will because I'm such a groovey guy, then I'll tempt the fuck out of you with all these senses & shit (oh no that's the Devil...woops I made him too cuz I'm God....uhhh oooo)....

                                                                                                                                              then since I'm such a loving merciful God, if you fuckup I'll send your ass to Hell for an eternity..."



                                                                                                                                              Thanks for the free will !!!

                                                                                                                                              Wouldn't ya just rather be a non-tormented peaceful rock or something?
                                                                                                                                              Last edited by TheJimmy; 06-26-2003, 02:41 PM.
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                                                                                                                                                • TheEnforcer
                                                                                                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                                  • May 2001
                                                                                                                                                  • 2855
                                                                                                                                                  #37
                                                                                                                                                  When you can't take them stopping by any more I HIGHLY suggest this. Worked like a charm for me.

                                                                                                                                                  I went from patiently listening for a bit to dropping obvious hints that I didn't want them to stop by anymore and then started just telling them flat out I wasn't interested and closing the door. Finally got tired and answered the door this way:


                                                                                                                                                  "I tried to be nice about it but if any of the people from your church come by my house again I will make it a point to find out where you live and stop by 2-3 times a week and preach to you and your family about how God DOES NOT exist!"

                                                                                                                                                  I haven't seen a Jehovah Witness in 3 and 1/2 years!!
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                                                                                                                                                    • =^..^=
                                                                                                                                                      Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                                      • Jan 2002
                                                                                                                                                      • 6935
                                                                                                                                                      #38
                                                                                                                                                      Originally posted by LadyMischief


                                                                                                                                                      I was disfellowshipped (I was raised as a JW...gak!). They stop acknowledging you, that kind of thing..even your family isn't allowed to talk to you, it's utter fucking bullshit..they should see me now, practicing wiccan and peddling porn. I'm the anithema of everything they believe in :P
                                                                                                                                                      WOW! we have a lot in commen then

                                                                                                                                                      funnyy thing is - Ive worked with about 4 other girls who were difellowshipped they are all strippers now

                                                                                                                                                      what did you get sone for?

                                                                                                                                                      I got kicked for having sex with a guy I when wasnt married

                                                                                                                                                      - i think thats the #1 reason ppl get the boot.
                                                                                                                                                      #RememberYourRoots #AaronMForGFYHOF

                                                                                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                                                                                        • MSB
                                                                                                                                                          Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                                          • Jun 2003
                                                                                                                                                          • 2984
                                                                                                                                                          #39
                                                                                                                                                          Originally posted by sherie
                                                                                                                                                          You must invite them in and ask them if they are interested in what you do, then pop in a porn video


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                                                                                                                                                            • LadyMischief
                                                                                                                                                              Orgasms N Such!
                                                                                                                                                              • Sep 2002
                                                                                                                                                              • 18135
                                                                                                                                                              #40
                                                                                                                                                              Originally posted by =^..^=


                                                                                                                                                              WOW! we have a lot in commen then

                                                                                                                                                              funnyy thing is - Ive worked with about 4 other girls who were difellowshipped they are all strippers now

                                                                                                                                                              what did you get sone for?

                                                                                                                                                              I got kicked for having sex with a guy I when wasnt married

                                                                                                                                                              - i think thats the #1 reason ppl get the boot.
                                                                                                                                                              I slept on a guy's couch when I got kicked out of the house... They called it loose conduct and disfellowshipped me... actually it was because I was smarter than the head elder's daughter, she was a total slutskank, and I was making him and her look bad. Their loss hahaha..

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                                                                                                                                                                • SexxxyChat-T
                                                                                                                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                                                  • Jun 2003
                                                                                                                                                                  • 697
                                                                                                                                                                  #41
                                                                                                                                                                  "Have you found Christ yet?"

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                                                                                                                                                                    • Peter Romero
                                                                                                                                                                      Long time no happy ending
                                                                                                                                                                      • Feb 2003
                                                                                                                                                                      • 10618
                                                                                                                                                                      #42
                                                                                                                                                                      My old neighbor Robbie from Matrix lived across the street from me, called me up one day and told me that the JW's were headed my way... so Avy Scott and her huge DD boobs answered the door BUCK FUCKIN NAKED and started talking to them! Door wide open, udders hangin, and I'm on the floor laughing to a cry and all i kept thinkin is: If i wasn't going to hell before, i got a free fuckin pass right now!"


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                                                                                                                                                                        • =^..^=
                                                                                                                                                                          Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                                                          • Jan 2002
                                                                                                                                                                          • 6935
                                                                                                                                                                          #43
                                                                                                                                                                          Originally posted by LadyMischief


                                                                                                                                                                          I slept on a guy's couch when I got kicked out of the house... They called it loose conduct and disfellowshipped me... actually it was because I was smarter than the head elder's daughter, she was a total slutskank, and I was making him and her look bad. Their loss hahaha..
                                                                                                                                                                          bwuhahah - thats funny

                                                                                                                                                                          and you're right their loss
                                                                                                                                                                          #RememberYourRoots #AaronMForGFYHOF

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