Joke Competition - Win 50 Banners!

Two in the spirit of GFY:

I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my ass!



If my pants aren't at my ankles, don't open your mouth!

there are a lot of funny jokes

These two are great, I'm saving them for use on the GFY board

Wow someone else is reading them
We're having a tough time judging which one is best!

Why dont you give 5x10 banners ? then 5 people happy

ì`m sure there is more 1 good joke !

It's looking like the prize may have to be divided, it's a tough time picking *the best* one... so many good ones!

go ahead its your contest !

Two nuns in a bath tub, one says "whears the soap?" The other says "yes it does, doesn't it!"

who won this banner package..?

why dont you give 1 banner to 50 people= 50 possible consumers..

Please excuse the spelling.....

Start:

A little kid ask his father what "cock is outside" means and he answer the kid that it means that someone forgot to "close his zipper" . Then he ask what "jerking off means" and the father says it means when someone is "blushing". And finally he asks what a "HoreHouse" (hokker place) means and his father say it's a place where everyone has fun.

The littel boy goes on a bus one day and infront of him stand an old man that forgot his zipper in his pants.

The boy says: - Your cock is dangling
The old man blushes and gets all red in the face and then the kid says: Well, you don't have to Jerk Off because of it.
Now everyone in the bus starts to laughf and the boy say:
Is this a fucking Horhouse I'm in.

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come
over here and help me...I have a killer jigsaw puzzle
and I can't figure out how to get it started."

Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when
it's finished?" The blonde says, "According to the
picture on the box, it's a tiger." Her boyfriend
decides to go over and help with the puzzle.

She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle
spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for
a moment, then turns to her and says "First of all, no
matter what we do, we're not going to be able to
assemble these pieces into anything resembling a
tiger." He held her hand softly, led her to a chair
and said, "Secondly, I'd advise you to relax. Let's
have a cup of coffee, and then....

"He sighed, "let's put all these Frosted Flakes back
in the box."

Here's 2 quick ones:

Do you know how the canadian died when drinking Milk ?
The cow sat on him !!

Do you know how he died when he drank water ?
The toilet seate banged fell on his head !!

Contest is long over but I wanted to add this one for laughs

Question:

How many husbands does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Answer (from a woman with PMS):

WHAT? A husband change a lightbulb??? Even IF he managed to notice that the damned thing was burned out in the FIRST place he wouldn't have the goddamned BRAINS to figure out WHERE we keep the lighbulbs even though they're in the SAME FUCKING PLACE that they've ALWAYS been for the last TWENTY YEARS of our marriage! And even if he DID figure out where they where there is NO POSSIBLE WAY he could EVER get to them because he'd have to climb over ten mountains of trash to get to them because he NEVER bothers to TAKE OUT THE FUCKING TRASH!!!

Poking a little fun at both men AND women with this one. ;)

What do you call a Japanese Proctologist?


A Poke e MAN

Will announce this shortly, it's a tough time deciding, stay tuned!

php is lagging so bad makeing me post two times lol

OK well there are two of us doing the judging, we've got different tastes though, these are our favs:

Naughty

I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my ass!

If my pants aren't at my ankles, don't open your mouth!


emmanuelle

A man went to see his doctor. He had a bad case of piles, causing him excruciating pain. The doctor gave him a case of suppositories. The doctor asked the man if he would like him to put the first one in for him. A little embarrassed, the man agreed. He bent over and held his breath. He felt a sharp pain, then the doctor said, "Right, your done. Insert the next one in about five hours. If you can't mange it yourself, ask your wife to give you a hand."

The man went home and laid down to recover from the experience. About five hours later, he tried to put the suppository in himself, but he couldn't get the angle quite right, so he asked his wife to help him. She told him to bend over, and put a hand on his shoulder to steady him. When she stuck it in him, he let out a scream.

"Sorry! Did I hurt you? I was as gentle as I could be," his wife said.

"It's not that," he said. He stood up and looked at her. His face was as white as a ghost.

His wife asked him, "What is it then?"

He replied, "When the doctor did it for me, he had both his hands on my shoulders."



Naughty - all your jokes kick ass, you should write a joke book

So Naughty & emmanuelle, send me an email to claim your 25 Banners each!

Some great jokes from everyone else, had a lot of fun reading them all (twice)

That's ok, I just thought you had a stutter

Awesome, thanks!

I'll be hitting you up shortly!

those jokes are cool men !