The Wisdom of Homer Simpson - post your favorite Homer quote here!

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  • Rictor
    Old Timer
    • Jan 2001
    • 12208
    #1

    The Wisdom of Homer Simpson - post your favorite Homer quote here!

    Relax. What is mind? No matter. What is matter? Never mind! --Homer Simpson

    Mmmm, sacrilicious. --Homer Simpson

    Oh look at me!!! I'm making people happy! I'm the magical man from happy land, with a gumdrop house on lollipop lane! Oh by the way...I was being sarcastic. --Homer Simpson

    Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. 14% of people know that. --Homer Simpson

    They have the Internet on computers, now? --Homer Simpson
    Tags: None
    • Rictor
      Old Timer
      • Jan 2001
      • 12208
      #2
      Well, crying isn't gonna bring him back...unless your tears smell like dog food. So you can either sit there crying and eating can after can of dog food until your tears smell enough like dog food to make your dog come back or you can go out there and find your dog. --Homer Simpson

        Comment

        • Rictor
          Old Timer
          • Jan 2001
          • 12208
          #3
          http://members.tripod.com/impinknet/Homer.html

          Here's a bunch of them.

            Comment

            • escorpio
              doesn't fuck around.
              • Oct 2002
              • 23490
              #4
              "Rockstars. Is there anything they don't know?"
              Unvaxxed, still alive.

                Comment

                • rooster
                  Confirmed User
                  • Jan 2003
                  • 2384
                  #5
                  marge: is this what you thought married life would be like

                  homer: pretty much, but we'd drive around in a van solving mysteries.
                  Ever notice that pretty much everything added to the Constitution after the original was a mistake.

                    Comment

                    • jim manly
                      Confirmed User
                      • Oct 2002
                      • 605
                      #6
                      doh!!

                        Comment

                        • detoxed
                          vip member
                          • Jan 2003
                          • 17798
                          #7
                          homer is cool

                            Comment

                            • jollyperv
                              Confirmed User
                              • Nov 2001
                              • 3927
                              #8
                              Saxamaphone....saxamaphone...

                                Comment

                                • SpermbergMikey
                                  Registered User
                                  • Jan 2003
                                  • 74
                                  #9
                                  "Let me tell you about the greatest place in the world - doggie heaven"
                                  FOCUS ADULT RIPPED ME OFF!

                                    Comment

                                    • Ice
                                      Confirmed User
                                      • Nov 2002
                                      • 26053
                                      #10
                                      That's it! You people have stood in my way long enough. I'm going to clown college! --Homer Simpson or was it Serge Oprano
                                      icq 1904905

                                        Comment

                                        • Probono
                                          Confirmed User
                                          • Oct 2002
                                          • 2731
                                          #11
                                          Donuts

                                            Comment

                                            • KC
                                              Confirmed User
                                              • Jan 1995
                                              • 2417
                                              #12
                                              Homer golfing with his boss... stuck in the sand trap.

                                              homer's boss: "Use an open faced club, a sand wedge"
                                              homer: "mmmmm... open faced club sandwich"

                                              Jupiter Hosting, Inc.
                                              Vice President, Business Development
                                              kc (AT) jupiterhosting.com

                                                Comment

                                                • The Click
                                                  Confirmed User
                                                  • Apr 2003
                                                  • 1685
                                                  #13
                                                  "I'd give it all up for some mag wheels" - Homer


                                                  ICQ: 31-30-30

                                                    Comment

                                                    • 420
                                                      cuck
                                                      • Mar 2003
                                                      • 11571
                                                      #14
                                                      i sale short aim screen name "homer"
                                                      <!--BEGIN SIMUTRONICS PLAY BUTTON CODE -->
                                                      <p align="center">

                                                      <a href="http://buddy.play.net/dr?TMOREAU1">

                                                      <img src="drplay.gif" width="128" height="64" alt="Play DragonRealms!"></a></p>

                                                      <!--END SIMUTRONICS PLAY BUTTON CODE -->

                                                        Comment

                                                        • neuromancer
                                                          Confirmed User
                                                          • Jun 2003
                                                          • 281
                                                          #15
                                                          Hey, just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand

                                                            Comment

                                                            • The Click
                                                              Confirmed User
                                                              • Apr 2003
                                                              • 1685
                                                              #16
                                                              was it

                                                              [email protected]


                                                              i think that was it.


                                                              ICQ: 31-30-30

                                                                Comment

                                                                • ADL Colin
                                                                  Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                  • Feb 2001
                                                                  • 11929
                                                                  #17
                                                                  "There's so much I don't know about astrophysics. I wish I'd
                                                                  read that book by that wheelchair guy."

                                                                  That's also my favorite episode.


                                                                  Adult Date Link - $50 PPS starting NOW! -- good and JUICY!

                                                                  skype = "adultdatelink"

                                                                    Comment

                                                                    • Project-Shadow
                                                                      Confirmed User
                                                                      • Feb 2003
                                                                      • 7340
                                                                      #18
                                                                      "mmmmm.. gelatinated donut"

                                                                        Comment

                                                                        • baddog
                                                                          So Fucking Banned
                                                                          • Apr 2001
                                                                          • 107089
                                                                          #19
                                                                          Alcohol, the cause of, and solution to all of the world's problems

                                                                            Comment

                                                                            • twinkley
                                                                              Confirmed User
                                                                              • Feb 2001
                                                                              • 807
                                                                              #20
                                                                              "they have the internet on computers now!!"

                                                                              homer simpson

                                                                              hehehehe
                                                                              ICQ - 720-99-798
                                                                              Email - twinkley @ kiwisourcing dot com






                                                                                Comment

                                                                                • iroc409
                                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                                  • Jan 2003
                                                                                  • 4728
                                                                                  #21
                                                                                  "shut up brain or i'll stab you with a q-tip"
                                                                                  <a href="http://www.iroc409.com/"><img src="http://www.iroc409.com/adv/120x60.gif" border=0></a>


                                                                                  icq: 1 7 6 4 2 0 9 6 0
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                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                    • Darrell
                                                                                      Confirmed User
                                                                                      • Feb 2003
                                                                                      • 803
                                                                                      #22
                                                                                      "Marge, I haven't learnt a thing"

                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                        • DonnelKobe
                                                                                          Confirmed User
                                                                                          • Mar 2003
                                                                                          • 105
                                                                                          #23
                                                                                          <sung to the tune of golden crisp jingle>
                                                                                          "I guess I forgot to put the foglights in~~"

                                                                                          "He he he... you got the Dud!! <gestures to Milhouse> kinda' looks like you poindexter!!"

                                                                                          <After Stephen Hawking makes a speach>
                                                                                          "Hey, Larry Flynt is right!!"

                                                                                          "It's kind of like that guy who went into space.. what was his name?? Apollo Creed???"

                                                                                          <Homer> "Me and your mom have been talking, and we're thinking about giving up the puppies"
                                                                                          <Bart and Lisa> "NO!!"
                                                                                          <Homer>"Mainly your mother!"

                                                                                          I'm not sure if I got all of these verbatim. And this is one of my favorite Marge quotes:

                                                                                          <Marge: after pulling out Whiskey, Condoms and tampons from a shopping bag> "I don't know what you were planning for tonight, but count me out!"

                                                                                            Comment

                                                                                            • Beastiepoo
                                                                                              Confirmed User
                                                                                              • Mar 2002
                                                                                              • 1971
                                                                                              #24
                                                                                              Originally posted by Rictor
                                                                                              Oh look at me!!! I'm making people happy! I'm the magical man from happy land, with a gumdrop house on lollipop lane! Oh by the way...I was being sarcastic. --Homer Simpson
                                                                                              That is my favourite quote and episode followed closely by -

                                                                                              "Homerclese cares not for beans!"

                                                                                              From the episode where he eats the big sandwich and is too sick to take the kids to Duff Gardens.
                                                                                              Dammit! My timing SUCKS!
                                                                                              Hot body piercing jewellery at discounted prices - Click here!
                                                                                              Got Goth traffic?? Make money with it at DarkPassions - Click Here!

                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                • Maz
                                                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                                                  • Jun 2003
                                                                                                  • 135
                                                                                                  #25
                                                                                                  Originally posted by KC
                                                                                                  Homer golfing with his boss... stuck in the sand trap.

                                                                                                  homer's boss: "Use an open faced club, a sand wedge"
                                                                                                  homer: "mmmmm... open faced club sandwich"
                                                                                                  lol
                                                                                                  t-minus whenever it feels right

                                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                                    • foe
                                                                                                      Confirmed User
                                                                                                      • May 2002
                                                                                                      • 5246
                                                                                                      #26
                                                                                                      Originally posted by baddog
                                                                                                      Alcohol, the cause of, and solution to all of the world's problems
                                                                                                      actually its beer, the cause of, and solution to all of the world's problems

                                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                                        • RobertD
                                                                                                          Confirmed User
                                                                                                          • Feb 2001
                                                                                                          • 1149
                                                                                                          #27
                                                                                                          "There's no moral, it's just a bunch of stuff that happens."
                                                                                                          Sexy Latinas

                                                                                                            Comment

                                                                                                            • jollyperv
                                                                                                              Confirmed User
                                                                                                              • Nov 2001
                                                                                                              • 3927
                                                                                                              #28
                                                                                                              Lenny: "...If I may compliment you homer, that's one handsome rattle snake you got biting your leg..."

                                                                                                              Homer: "...ehh, he'll give up in about an hour....snakes, nature's quitters..."

                                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                                • CDSmith
                                                                                                                  Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                                                  • May 2001
                                                                                                                  • 51460
                                                                                                                  #29
                                                                                                                  <img SRC="http://members.shaw.ca/billy1-99/pics/homer.gif"> "Everybody in the world is stupid except me"
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                                                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                                                    • PhillipB
                                                                                                                      Just a Simple Carpenter
                                                                                                                      • May 2003
                                                                                                                      • 1338
                                                                                                                      #30
                                                                                                                      Apu: "I always knew Karma was baloney"
                                                                                                                      Homer: "Mmmmmm....caramel baloney"

                                                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                                                        • The Click
                                                                                                                          Confirmed User
                                                                                                                          • Apr 2003
                                                                                                                          • 1685
                                                                                                                          #31
                                                                                                                          "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy"


                                                                                                                          "No TV and no beer make Homer someting something." "Go Crazy?" "Don't find if i do!!!!! Heehee.


                                                                                                                          ICQ: 31-30-30

                                                                                                                            Comment

                                                                                                                            • SleazyDream
                                                                                                                              I'm here for SPORT
                                                                                                                              • Jul 2001
                                                                                                                              • 41470
                                                                                                                              #32
                                                                                                                              first you get the sugar
                                                                                                                              then you get the power
                                                                                                                              then you get the women
                                                                                                                              This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog!

                                                                                                                              Now read without the word dog.

                                                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                                                • ldinternet
                                                                                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                  • Apr 2001
                                                                                                                                  • 8245
                                                                                                                                  #33
                                                                                                                                  trying to sell sex tonic in a shopping mall,


                                                                                                                                  Homer: excuse me sir, you look like a man who needs help in satisfying his wife


                                                                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                                                                    • ldinternet
                                                                                                                                      Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                      • Apr 2001
                                                                                                                                      • 8245
                                                                                                                                      #34
                                                                                                                                      Marge: Homer, are you really going to ignore Grampa for the rest of your life?

                                                                                                                                      Homer: Of course not Marge, just for the rest of his life. He said I was an accident, he didn't want to have me.

                                                                                                                                      Marge: You didn't want to have Bart!

                                                                                                                                      Homer: I know, but you're never supposed to tell the child

                                                                                                                                      Marge: You tell Bart all the time, you told him this morning.

                                                                                                                                      Homer: But when I do it, it's cute!

                                                                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                                                                        • stevecore
                                                                                                                                          Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                          • May 2003
                                                                                                                                          • 6130
                                                                                                                                          #35
                                                                                                                                          "No, no, no, Lisa. If adults don't like their jobs, they don't go on strike. They just go in every day and do it really half-assed."

                                                                                                                                          "Stealing! How could you? Haven't you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain whats-his-name? We live in a society of laws. Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well I didn't hear anybody laughin', did you?"

                                                                                                                                          "Step aside everyone! Sensitive love letters are my specialty. 'Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.'"

                                                                                                                                            Comment

                                                                                                                                            • The Porn Dude
                                                                                                                                              Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                              • Feb 2003
                                                                                                                                              • 369
                                                                                                                                              #36
                                                                                                                                              What are you gonna do? Sick your dogs on me? Or your bees? Or dogs with bees in their mouth so when they bark they shoot bees at me?

                                                                                                                                              I don't want anything weird...just give me the mumu.

                                                                                                                                              Homer: I'll take the 357
                                                                                                                                              Gun Shop Guy: Ok you'll have to wait 3 days
                                                                                                                                              Homer: 3 DAYS!!!! But I'm angry now.

                                                                                                                                              sorry forgot this one

                                                                                                                                              I like my beer cold...my TV loud...and my homosexuals flaming.
                                                                                                                                              Last edited by The Porn Dude; 06-25-2003, 10:41 AM.
                                                                                                                                              SIG TOO BIG! Maximum 120x60 button and no more than 3 text lines of DEFAULT SIZE and COLOR. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, then you may use a 624x80 instead of a 120x60.

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                                                                                                                                                • austinth
                                                                                                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                                  • Jul 2002
                                                                                                                                                  • 1770
                                                                                                                                                  #37
                                                                                                                                                  Originally posted by The Click
                                                                                                                                                  "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy"
                                                                                                                                                  Damn! You beat me to it!
                                                                                                                                                  Get A $25 Circuit City GIFT Card - FREE!

                                                                                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                                                                                    • Jakke PNG
                                                                                                                                                      ex-TeenGodFather
                                                                                                                                                      • Nov 2001
                                                                                                                                                      • 20306
                                                                                                                                                      #38
                                                                                                                                                      Bart about homer..


                                                                                                                                                      "My dad's always yelling that Whitey's keepin' him down."
                                                                                                                                                      -Bart Simpson
                                                                                                                                                      ..and I'm off.

                                                                                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                                                                                        • wizz
                                                                                                                                                          Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                                          • Jun 2003
                                                                                                                                                          • 634
                                                                                                                                                          #39
                                                                                                                                                          You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'. --Homer Simpson
                                                                                                                                                          SIG TOO BIG! Maximum 120x60 button and no more than 3 text lines of DEFAULT SIZE and COLOR. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, then you may use a 624x80 instead of a 120x60.

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                                                                                                                                                            • SexSpaceman
                                                                                                                                                              Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                                              • Jan 2003
                                                                                                                                                              • 129
                                                                                                                                                              #40
                                                                                                                                                              Bart (reading from invitation): Come to Homer's BBBQ. The extra "B" is for BYOBB.

                                                                                                                                                              Lisa: What that extra "B" for?

                                                                                                                                                              Homer: That's a Typo

                                                                                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                                                                                • ldinternet
                                                                                                                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                                                  • Apr 2001
                                                                                                                                                                  • 8245
                                                                                                                                                                  #41
                                                                                                                                                                  Singing to himself in the bathroom mirror:

                                                                                                                                                                  Oh Mindy,
                                                                                                                                                                  You came and you stayed without flaking,
                                                                                                                                                                  But I sent you ben gay,
                                                                                                                                                                  Oh Andy!

                                                                                                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                                                                                                    • Butrflied
                                                                                                                                                                      Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                                                      • Aug 2002
                                                                                                                                                                      • 1344
                                                                                                                                                                      #42
                                                                                                                                                                      Originally posted by The Click
                                                                                                                                                                      "No TV and no beer make Homer someting something." "Go Crazy?" "Don't find if i do!!!!! Heehee.
                                                                                                                                                                      You got my favorite!!
                                                                                                                                                                      ~Butrflied~

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