50 biatch!
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The couple were 85 years old, and had been married for
sixty years. Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they watched their pennies. Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to the wife's insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the last decade.
One day, their good health didn't help when they went on a rare
vacation and their plane crashed, sending them off to Heaven. They reached the pearly gates, and St. Peter escorted them inside. He took them to a beautiful mansion, furnished in gold and fine silks, with a fully stocked kitchen and a waterfall in the master bath. A maid could be seen hanging their favorite clothes in the closet. They gasped in astonishment when he said,
"Welcome to Heaven. This will be your home now."
The old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost.
"Why, nothing," Peter replied, "remember, this is your reward in
Heaven."
The old man looked out the window and right there he saw a
championship golf course, finer and more beautiful than any ever-built on Earth.
"What are the greens fees?" grumbled the old man.
"This is heaven," St. Peter replied. "You can play for free,
everyday."
Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch, with every imaginable cuisine laid out before them, from seafood to steaks to exotic deserts, free flowing beverages.
"Don't even ask," said St. Peter to the man. "This is Heaven, it is
all free for you to enjoy."
The old man looked around and glanced nervously at his wife.
"Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods, and the decaffeinated tea?" he asked.
"That's the best part," St. Peter replied. "You can eat and drink as
much as you like of whatever you like, and you will never get fat or sick. This is Heaven!"
The old man pushed, "No gym to work out at?"
"Not unless you want to," was the answer.
"No testing my sugar or blood pressure or..."
"Never again. All you do here is enjoy yourself."
The old man glared at his wife and said, "You and your bran muffins. We could have been here ten years ago."
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Originally posted by foolio
The couple were 85 years old, and had been married for
sixty years. Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they watched their pennies. Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to the wife's insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the last decade.
One day, their good health didn't help when they went on a rare
vacation and their plane crashed, sending them off to Heaven. They reached the pearly gates, and St. Peter escorted them inside. He took them to a beautiful mansion, furnished in gold and fine silks, with a fully stocked kitchen and a waterfall in the master bath. A maid could be seen hanging their favorite clothes in the closet. They gasped in astonishment when he said,
"Welcome to Heaven. This will be your home now."
The old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost.
"Why, nothing," Peter replied, "remember, this is your reward in
Heaven."
The old man looked out the window and right there he saw a
championship golf course, finer and more beautiful than any ever-built on Earth.
"What are the greens fees?" grumbled the old man.
"This is heaven," St. Peter replied. "You can play for free,
everyday."
Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch, with every imaginable cuisine laid out before them, from seafood to steaks to exotic deserts, free flowing beverages.
"Don't even ask," said St. Peter to the man. "This is Heaven, it is
all free for you to enjoy."
The old man looked around and glanced nervously at his wife.
"Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods, and the decaffeinated tea?" he asked.
"That's the best part," St. Peter replied. "You can eat and drink as
much as you like of whatever you like, and you will never get fat or sick. This is Heaven!"
The old man pushed, "No gym to work out at?"
"Not unless you want to," was the answer.
"No testing my sugar or blood pressure or..."
"Never again. All you do here is enjoy yourself."
The old man glared at his wife and said, "You and your bran muffins. We could have been here ten years ago."
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who likes to bake jews at 400 degrees
hitler
who's an ugly jew
your mother
who sucks jews dicks
hitlers sister
whos a stupid chink
any chinese person
who is a gay person
anyone who is a homosexual
who smells like a chinese hooker
you doComment
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no, I took a showerOriginally posted by grogan
who smells like a chinese hooker
you do
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heres another one
knock knock
(who's there?)
your ugly hahahaha wife
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knock knock
(who's there?)
me you dumb bitch
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knock knock
(who's there?)
your chinese mother
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knock knock
(who's there?)
your homosexual dad
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knock knock
(who's there?)
father malchahey
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knock knock
(who's there?)
no one, im a ghost you fat bitch
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knock knock
(who's there?)
a fat bitch
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knock knock
(who's there?)
a dead fat bitch
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knock knock
(who's there?)
your ma'
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knock knock
(who's there?)
----------------------------------------
knock knock
(who's there?)
im here cuzz im a chinese hahahahaComment
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it says hahahhahahah instead of c=u=n=t?
hahahaha
hahahaha hahahahaComment
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I think you are the only other person than me that knows that jokeOriginally posted by Missy
Hey litlsweety! What's up?
OK, here goes...
A bear walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says "I'm sorry but we don't serve bears beer".
The bear says "If you don't give me a beer, I'm going to eat that lady over there in the corner". So the bartender says "Go ahead... see if I care".
So the bear waddles over to the corner of the bar and gobbles up the lady in one gulp. He walks back over to the bar and says "Now gimme my damn beer!"
The bartender replies "I told you, we don't serve bears beer, and we don't serve bears on drugs".
The bears says "What are you talking about? I'm not on drugs!"
To which the bartender replies...
"Yes you are.... That was a "bar-bitch-you-ate" I presume that was your condensed version for typing ease.
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Originally posted by OzKaNoz
The Leper And The Bartender
A leper walked into a bar and sat down. The bartender glanced over and promptly threw up all over himself and the floor.
The leper looked hurt and said, "Hey, I know I'm not exactly handsome, but I do have feelings and you could be a little sensitive about them."
The bartender, wiping his mouth on his sleeve, looked up and proclaimed, "I'm sorry as hell man, but it wasn't you. That guy sitting next to you keeps dipping his crackers in your neck."
Oz
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well the topic is "post your WORST joke" and you have to admit that one was pretty badOriginally posted by Reak
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this one
Q: What's the difference between an alcoholic and a drinker?
A: You don't have to go to those stupid meetings!
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Guy goes into a French restaurant and says "Waiter, do you have frogs legs?"
Waiter "But of course monsieur"
Guy "Well hop over there and get me a bacon sandwich then"
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Jewish child molester "Would you like to buy a sweet little girl?"
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What do you call an Indian cloakroom attendant?
Mahatma CoatComment
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There were two cows and they couldn't care less.Custom adult games / apps for your paysites.
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icq35291012Comment
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Lol. yeah when I saw the topic I thought of that joke. It's so really bad.Originally posted by baddog
well the topic is "post your WORST joke" and you have to admit that one was pretty bad
OzComment
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###Warning Tasteless Joke###
What's the difference between acne and a paedophile?
Acne waits until you're 12 before it comes on your face.Comment
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[QUOTE]Originally posted by baddog
[B]Q, What is black and blue, and hates cock?
Ouch!!!!
Less offensive, but still just as Misogynist.....
Q. What do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes?
A. Nothin!!! You've already told the bitch twice!!!
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How do you stop a Jewish woman from having sex?
Marry her!
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hahaha yeah that's a pretty bad jokeOriginally posted by xxxtreme
this one
Q: What's the difference between an alcoholic and a drinker?
A: You don't have to go to those stupid meetings!
How about this one....
What do you do when your dishwasher breaks?
Throw her ass out.Adult SEO Partners - Full service Adult SEO Agency serving some of the biggest names in the industry.Comment
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Q: Why was the painter mad at the museum.
A: Because they gave him a brush off.
** Found on a popsicle stick last night.Comment
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How do you know when you are at a gay bar-b-q?
The hotdogs taste like shit...Comment
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that joke REALLY sucksOriginally posted by Missy
Hey litlsweety! What's up?
OK, here goes...
A bear walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says "I'm sorry but we don't serve bears beer".
The bear says "If you don't give me a beer, I'm going to eat that lady over there in the corner". So the bartender says "Go ahead... see if I care".
So the bear waddles over to the corner of the bar and gobbles up the lady in one gulp. He walks back over to the bar and says "Now gimme my damn beer!"
The bartender replies "I told you, we don't serve bears beer, and we don't serve bears on drugs".
The bears says "What are you talking about? I'm not on drugs!"
To which the bartender replies...
"Yes you are.... That was a "bar-bitch-you-ate"
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What do elephants use for Tampons???
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SHEEP!
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lol. funny threadComment
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Q: What is green and red and goes 100 miles an hour?
A: a frog in a blender.
Q: What did the indian say when his pizza got delivered?
A: eh... who puked on my banik?
Did you hear about the sand monkey terrorist who tried to blow up a bus?
He burnt his lips on the exaust pipe.
Hear about the skinny fag who went up north to work?
He came back a husky fucker.Promote Wildmatch, ImLive, Sexier.com, and more!!
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Put some PUSSYCA$H in your pocket. ICQ me at: 31024634Comment
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Why do elephants have trunks?Originally posted by market4s
What do elephants use for Tampons???
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SHEEP!
Sheep don't have strings.I like pie.Comment
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What do you do if your Kotex catches fire?
Throw it on the ground and tampon it.I like pie.Comment
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Why don't jews like to eat pussy?
Too close to the gas chamber.
Hey you wanted the worst joke.
sig too bigComment
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A baby harp seal walks into a club
I once puked up alphabet spagetti - and it spelt carrots.
Why do farts smell? So deaf people can enjoy them too
Why do dogs lick their balls? Coz they cant make a fist.A white rabit may show the dreamer the way to the inner spiritual world and as such act as a guide.Comment
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